Jan. 29th, 2019 02:10 pm
kaberett: (sokka-facepalm)
Item the first: I am absolutely become, apparently, the kind of person who gets Mildly Cross about not taking cheesecloth with them when they travel for more than about a week. (I'm still not buying the 10m roll.)

Item the second: this means I'm using up some of the milk-as-needs-used in a slightly experimental loaf of sourdough, instead of just turning it into paneer for dinner. (This has the bonus that I don't need to get my act together when A is actually in the house; the sourdough's generally happy with filtered water than with mains water, as recently mentioned, and while we have a filter jug at home out here we've only got A's filter-as-it-goes-along water bottle.)

Item the third: I was most of the way through mixing this up before I remembered I'm not supposed to eat calcium at breakfast.

kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
Paper: currently at the point where every time I think I can write a sentence, I end up disappearing into the rabbit-hole of double-checking references and re-wrangling data for an hour or two. This is A Good Thing, in that it means that I've got to grips with the job in question sufficient to see the small manageable chunks, rather than burying my head in the sand about it. Of course I've just run into a bit of a dead end, at least until I can get my supervisors' input (probably in the new Gregorian year), but happily there are many other paths for me to branch off down.

Relatedly: PhD2048 is dangerous. I'd successfully avoided all previous iterations of the game, which unfortunately meant I wasn't innoculated when this nonsense started doing the rounds.

Foot: bruise came up briefly! Swelling was temporarily visible! Now at the point where I can walk on it around the house a little provided I'm careful and don't push it beyond, ooh, the bedroom-bathroom-kitchen-sofa route before I have a rest. In turn this means I'm wearing the boot a little less (it has so much velcro), which means I'm crossing my legs by default, which means I'm putting weight through my foot awkwardly, which... means I'm wearing the boot more again! But so it goes.

Thyroid: I'm feeling hypothyroid-ish worse again but my numbers are now pushing toward hyperthyroid! Still no autoimmune markers (and all my vitamins et cet are fine), not clear to me that the GP is actually aware that you plausibly want to end up "hyperthyroid" by-the-numbers when treating hypothyroidism, but regardless I'm intending to go back in the new year and ask for (i) free T3 levels as well as free T4 and TSH, (ii) trying adding in straight-up T3 in case there's a conversion problem ongoing, and (iii) a referral to an endocrinologist because I'm really bored of this.

Books: I kinda sorta ended up, on Wednesday, going into Foyles and then Fopp with awesome ex-housemate-C, who was briefly around; in consequence I acquired a present for Adam, an unambiguously-for-grown-ups book by Shaun Tan (I slipped and fell, it was by the checkouts, I flipped through briefly and saw the giant snails and succumbed), some Actual Pink Floyd Of My Very Own (for the listening to on our backs in the dark at 1am, sorry neighbours), and another couple of Carrie Fisher's memoirs (they were two for a fiver, It Had To Be Done). And, er, then going into Waterstones unsupervised, where books were Buy One Get One Half Price, which meant that I acquired a copy of Why I'm No Longer Talking To White People About Race (having had the library ebook automagically evaporate from my device when I was 2/3rds through, due to disorganisation) and Mortal Engines (because I loved the film and wanted to know more about some of the worldbuilding and characterisation that were sketched for the cinema but were clearly explored in a great deal more detail in the source text).
kaberett: a watercolour of a pale gold/salmon honeysuckle blossom against a background of green leaves (honeysuckle)
Health: it's about three months since we last upped my thyroxine dose, and night before last (in a room at 18degC) I ended up under three layers of duvet, plus the weighted blanket, plus two folded fleece blankets, plus a hot water bottle, plus wrapping myself around A... which was just about sufficient warmth that I could relax and Go The Fuck To Sleep. (Three duvets + anger blanket + A was emphatically not sufficient. I was shivering.) Also, I'm sleeping more during the day again. Hurrah for probably-seronegative-autoimmune-hypothyroidism that's going to keep declining. \o/

Growth: first batch of mulch out the bin, and lessons so far appear to be broadly (1) it's all very well to put in enough shredded paper to absorb the liquid from the compost caddy, but I kiiiiiiinda need to also put in enough to absorb the liquid from the weeding; (2) also more wood chip for structure; (3) dried grass needs chopping up really small, no, smaller than that; and (4) while sandwich packaging continues A Nightmare Waitrose are at least... trying?

Squash (unsurprisingly) did not end up ripening before the frosts, so I'll try again next year with an earlier start and a better understanding of powdery mildew. I really need to thin out the spinach (and make some pasta?), and we just ate the first of the fennel, and very nice it was too.

Belfast: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
kaberett: Clyde the tortoise from Elementary, crawling across a map, with a red tape cross on his back. (elementary-emergency-clyde)
In the sense that I tried Yet Another GP at my local practice (the one I saw for trigger finger, who was generally great), and he was good about it all.

Read more... )
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
1. I've been complaining a fair old bit, over the past few months, that I've been feeling very resistant to writing up therapy notes but I couldn't tell whyyyyyyy and it didn't make any seeeeeeeeeense. It turns out that, as ever, brains are sneaky little buggers, particularly in self-defence, and the reason I was so reluctant to engage with therapy notes is in fact exactly the reason I go to therapy. Which is: I want to have a responsible adult around to spot me while I do a bunch of emotional heavy lifting, and as it happens part of why I find writing up therapy notes so useful is that it makes more stuff cohere, i.e., it's more emotional heavy lifting. Only I try to do it all in one chunk without a spotter. And over the past few months, when the reluctance has really set in, I've by-and-large been stable enough that I've actually been digging into long-term change, which is much more intimidiating than short-term fire-fighting when it comes to looking at it solo. Well done, that brain, but it's okay, I promise, we got this.

They get less ambivalently positive! )
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
Read more... )

Bonus thyroid notes: staying on the current dosage despite the subclinical hyperthyroidism, rechecking bloods in ~2 months. (Which, conveniently, is the number of pills I've been given.)
kaberett: A drawing of a black woman holding her right hand, minus a ring finger, in front of her face. "Oh, that. I cut it  off." (molly - cut it off)
So! I have now been on thyroxine for about six weeks. In that time, my miserable symptoms have entirely resolved (no more cystic acne! more energy! better sleep! normal gut service resumed! I'm not cold all the time!) aaaaaand my serum TSH has dropped from low end of normal (0.64) to "subclinical hyperthyroidism" (0.26). The thing is, to some extent this was expected because supplementing thyroxine, and on the other hand it was already dropping steadily prior to thyroxine supplementation!

... and I'm seronegative for thyroid peroxidase antibodies buuuut (a) those aren't the only ones out there, and (b) some people are just seronegative for all of them. Also (c) they're v low concentration and fluctuate a bunch even then.

So! Is it masked hyperthyroidism, where the hyperthyroidism causes hypo-like symptoms because hysteresis? Is it autoimmune hypothyroidism, which would fit with my other conditions, with no antibodies detectable because I like being difficult? Is it something else altogether? Are they going to take away my thyroxine and just leave me weeping and investigating the grey markets? WHO KNOWS. But hey, I can buy it off the internet if they do. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG.
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
1. Yedi Kocalı Hürmüz at the Arcola several weeks ago now, performed by the in-house Turkish-language company (Arcola Ala-Turka), with my friend D. A little rough around the edges (e.g. the surtitles frequently just sort of... didn't) but the energy & the audience engagement were fantastic, particularly in the segments that were just sort of... mini interconnected folk gigs? Lots and lots of clapping (and singing) along. I was very entertained -- there was comedy "whack people over the head with an inflatable stick and over-the-top sound effect" that worked really well -- and I even understood the occasional word and sentence fragment, go me.

2. Baby's first paper has been formally accepted. It is going into various preprint archives as we speak; I will link once it's actually usefully available. (Did I mention how good it is that I fixed the graphics driver issue with my desktop such that it's actually usable? It is SO GOOD.)

3. Off to Cornwall on Thursday, for approximately a fortnight, for the hundredth-birthday-that-isn't, coming back for the middle weekend because Reasons. I am looking forward to it. I will be bringing wild garlic back to plant out. Cornwall in early May is, in my unquestionably objective opinion, the best place in the entire world.

4. Frantically getting lab work finished up for pre-interruption-of-studies before that, so far as possible. Cocked up yesterday in a way that adds an extra week in lab (boo) but it was one I would otherwise have been anxious about not doing (yay), so that's worked out fairly well.

5. British strawberries, reduced in the supermarket. Yes. Good.

6. Started thyroxine (low-ish dose) on Friday last (the 20th). So far no conclusive changes, but excitingly the water is muddied by the part where I finished the most recent course of iron supplementation right before I started the thyroxine.

7. Have had first salad-and-cheese-and-bread dinner of the year on the PATIO. We have a PATIO. It has been WARM. I am very excited by this, and also by linens.

8. I have participated in A Bunch of research recently -- autism + the social model of disability in higher ed, intersection of trans status + disability, Being A Grumpy Tran At Market Researchers for fun and profit (and actually they were really great and give me hope), miscellaneous cognitive function for the long-term psychiatric study I'm participating in (£15 in vouchers, whoo).

9. Voucher has thus far been used on a bamboo travel mug, with a succulent pattern and duck-egg-blue silicone bits. ([personal profile] staranise, I keep restraining the urge to put together the succulent-themed care package you did not ask for and probably don't want because it would be silly to do the Shipping To Canada thing if you don't, but if you'd like preposterous succulent-themed tat let me know and It Will Happen.)

10. I spent a lot of the weekend making friends (at A's step-relative's Significant Birthday Thing) with both nibling S (who has, correctly, decided I am interested in them, and now greets me with enthusiasm) and -- which is what I was going to go with when I started this point -- a ridiculous ornamental cherry, which had the big-blousy-white blossoms as most of its canopy... and one branch, comprising about a third, that had been grafted on from a dark-purple-leaves and bright-pink-flowers tree. It was Good. I went and patted it on the graft and told it it was good, and made A admire it.

(The mint I rescued from the supermarket has established itself sufficiently aggressively that I'm starting to worry for the parsley it shares a tub with. I shall clearly just have to consume more of it.)
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
My bloods a few weeks ago had T4 at ~10% lower than the test in November, both right down at the bottom end of the "normal" range. A previous screen (~4 years ago) had much more middle-to-average numbers.

Given my cluster of autoimmune conditions, I'm going in for follow-up bloods to screen for thyroid antibodies on Tuesday. If they show up, we'll start treating me with thyroxine; if they don't, we'll keep monitoring. (I actually specifically asked if the thyroid antibodies screen was one it was worth doing, and my excellent GP's response was "good idea".)

This is me doing a relieved flump.
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
Yep, I am increasingly convinced this is "subclinical" hypothyroidism: low serum ferritin and hypothyroidism interact; together with fatigue, changes in bowel habit and weight, elevated blood cholesterol, and being cold and thirsty all the time...


kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)

February 2019

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