who only by moving can balance

princessofgeeks posted about Rachel Reid having said that Shane has "the Hero's Journey", in the Heated Rivalry books.
And raven commented, agreeing and saying that Shane grows and changes more, internally.

I've been thinking about this, and I started to write a comment but it got so long I decided to post here about it.

I re-read the start of Heated Rivalry—it's a flash-forward prologue to the hookups era and focuses on an after-game hookup, with the overall theme being Shane's dilemma where he's desperate for the hookups (with hints at his feelings for Ilya that he's massively suppressing), his denial about being gay (seeing it as an aberration he's too "weak" not to give into), and his rationalizations about just not having found the right woman yet. He's conflicted and miserable despite the scene being hot.

Then by the end of the book, Shane and Ilya are opening the Irina Foundation, and Shane has fully accepted being gay and loving Ilya. So the external barriers (the NHL's and hockey culture's homophobia, being closeted, not living together) are still there for them both, but Shane has made the internal Hero's Journey of battling against being gay (his internalized homophobia) then overcoming that and accepting it, and accepting his love for Ilya. Ilya battles against acknowledging that he's falling in love (a lost cause from early on), but he's clear about his sexuality from the start, and he's accepted his feelings for Shane by the tuna melts scene, whereas Shane's not there yet.

The Long Game might be seen as a bit more Ilya's Hero's Journey as he starts with many problems—loneliness as he's just moved to Ottawa, having to be on a poorly-playing losing team, still not seeing enough of Shane—and he gets depressed, which he has to battle against. Like (eventually), therapy, medication, being honest with Shane about how much he's struggling, finding friends in the Centaurs and a family in the Hollanders. But the terrible "wait until we retire to come out" plan is still hanging over him (over both of them), largely due to Shane's fear of exposure and change, and as Ilya is still afraid to be honest with Shane about how much the terrible plan makes him suffer.

So then there are two external deus ex machina events that force the "wait until we retire" plan to collapse—the Tampa plane near-tragedy, and the fanmail outing. Both of them energize Ilya to fight back (the near crash makes him rally his team and win games, and to move things along with Shane as he'd finally been honest about his pain in the cathartic row beforehand), and then the fanmail outing is actually what Ilya needs to move their relationship into the light. All this doesn't solve Ilya's tendency to depression, but he gets a lot better at handling it. He learns to manage the dragon, rather than killing it.

There's still a Hero's Journey for Shane in The Long Game though, which I missed initially as the book seems so Ilya-focused. This time it's Shane's fear of coming out of the closet and being exposed, which he's way more afraid of than Ilya is—again, Ilya has real issues to battle with (even his depression can be seen as an external antagonist as it's partly biologically driven and recurs despite psychotherapy and meds), but Shane's big challenge is once more internal. He's terrified of being outed and of losing hockey and being shamed and reviled by the world. It's his intense need for privacy and his internalized homophobia that he has to combat—and in initially not doing so he hurts Ilya (but Ilya conceals that hurt from him until their big fight). The fight and the Tampa plane near-crash wake Shane up and move him along a bit, but he's still delaying their coming out as he's so afraid of it.

Then the fanmail outing is the final blow that means he can't hide anymore (to Shane's horror, but to Ilya's secret relief). So that's his big hero's test in this book (where realizing he was gay and choosing Ilya over 'performing straightness' was his big battle in HR). And the scene where Shane stands up to Roger Crowell is his "battling the dragon" moment, where he fights for Ilya and for himself, defies Crowell who represents homophobia and the potential loss of hockey, and finally, finally, Shane fully chooses Ilya rather than prioritizing hockey and maintaining his straight public persona.

He's afraid that being exposed will mean his reputation will be destroyed, that he won't be seen as "good"—and that happens to some degree, but he finds it's survivable. It's shown in the way he doesn't arrange any extra chairs at his wedding to Ilya at the end of TLG after they've been outed. He doesn't think many guests will come now that he's not "good" anymore in a black & white, all or nothing public image sense. But his friends do come, and Shane finds there's a place he can exist in between being perfect and being reviled. It's a more adult, integrated sense of self.

I suspect Shane will once again have a Hero's Journey in the pending 3rd book in the HR trilogy (Unrivaled). What will that be? I wonder if it might be Shane's retirement from playing hockey in the NHL and what comes after? He was terrified of coming out because he thought it would mean losing NHL-level hockey, but he survived that in TLG after battling Crowell, emerging still playing NHL hockey with Ilya on the Centaurs. Inevitably, he and Ilya will age out of playing NHL hockey and it will definitely be more of a challenge for Shane than for Ilya. Ilya already prioritized Shane over hockey when he moved to the Centaurs—I wouldn't be surprised if he retired first, in Unrivaled, with both of them having to deal with that as a precursor. There's an excellent fanfic about that (can't recall the title!) which I imagine Rachel hasn't read, as most authors don't read fanfic of their books especially with an a ongoing series, to avoid accusations of copying.

But for Shane, hockey is still a huge part of his sense of self. He's going to have to figure out who he is when he's not an NHL player anymore. I suspect Rachel might bring in external factors again to move him along in his battle against retiring (as otherwise I suspect he'd put it off for way too long)—like a major injury or an accumulation of smaller injuries. There might also need to be another big goal for him to switch focus to as well, something to give his life meaning after retirement, to answer the question: "who am I if I'm not playing pro hockey?" A dad? A coach? It'll be interesting to see.

I'm so impressed by friends who post long rec lists - I can barely keep up with reading a few WIPs and some random other recs here and there!

Partly as I'm trying to finish editing a podfic for the Podfic Big Bang (not HR, sorry, I'm still daunted by Ilya's accent but I'll get there eventually), and am also writing a HR AU and outlining another largely epistolary HR fic. And doing some art. Agh!

Anyway, before I forget - this one is great! Partly a social media fic and with a great premise, clever and funny - some explicit texts between Ilya and "Jane" go viral as the internet can't believe how bad at sexting Jane is. I'll Be Jane by gurlsrool.

Also this HR vid is great! Fine Not Fine