who only by moving can balance

Posted by Athena Scalzi

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/06/the-big-idea-andrew-dana-hudson/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=60579

While we all know that technically our lives could end at any moment, sometimes that fact can feel far away. Author Andrew Dana Hudson brings that little known fact into the spotlight in his newest novel, Absence. Come along in his Big Idea as you think about what you would be leaving behind if you were to suddenly, mysteriously, become absent.

ANDREW DANA HUDSON:

What if people could disappear at any moment? How would the world adapt?

We were a year into the pandemic, and I was riding my bike, trying to get out of the house I’d kept myself cooped up in since the previous March. I found myself thinking about the weird pseudo-raptures that had shown up in pop culture over the last few years, like the “Thanos Snap” in the Avengers movies, or the “Sudden Departure” in The Leftovers—big supernatural events that impact everyone all at once. Where were the slow, crawling, banal supernatural disasters? Metaphysical catastrophes less like the rapture and more like the pandemic, or climate change: complex, unfolding, uneven, during which people have to go on living their lives despite unprecedented circumstances.

I got home, got off my bike, and wrote what would become the first chapter of my novel Absence. In this world, people are vanishing into thin air—with a loud popping sound—but it isn’t all at once. It’s one by one by one. Sometimes there are spikes, but mostly it’s ambient. It can happen to anyone, any time, which means everyone is wondering when it’s going to happen to them or their loved ones. Some fear it, others ignore it. A few are eager for it, for wherever people go when they pop. There are fakers and scammers and conspiracy theorists. A few tired bureaucrats try their best to manage the situation. We develop new norms and institutions and infrastructure, without ever ceasing to feel that it’s all so strange.

For me, writing this book was a way to process and capture in fiction the looming dread that I’d felt over my shoulder ever since the first COVID lockdowns. It was existential as much as epidemiological. A fear that an invisible force could reach into my life and take away someone whose presence I’d relied on.

Of course, people have always been mortal, fragile. We’re all a heart attack or a car accident or a well-placed meteor away from being out of the picture. But during that first pandemic year, that inherent human fungibility felt much more present in daily life and public spaces. And when people did get sick, they often disappeared, into quarantine or ICU intubation or, in a few places, mass graves. Death became both more and less present in our lives, and that was something I wanted to explore.

So what would you do? How would you live if you or the people you care about might be gone tomorrow, or the next second? And how would we as a society cope if we couldn’t rely on everyone showing up every day to do the jobs that keep all the economic gears turning together?

In Absence, drivers vanishing on the highway cause enough crashes that solo car travel is discouraged, and pilots popping mid-flight have travelers feeling safer on trains. Theater productions need extra understudies. A lot quickly becomes automated. People try to keep an eye on each other, because the worst thing is to disappear without anyone to tell your loved ones you’re gone. Trust in institutions erodes—which we’ve seen happen in our world too, but here is supercharged by the impossible-to-explain nature of this supernatural phenomenon.

When I started, I thought I was writing a short story. Instead, I found this premise just kept on giving me new wrinkles to explore, and so I kept writing, until I had a whole novel with a twisty mystery and a messy X-Files–style romance. And lots of jokes, since as dark as it was, 2020 was the funniest year of my life. Everyone was suddenly online together, riffing about the many absurdities of our new situation and flailing government. I spent half my days in group chats, laughing at bad memes until I cried. Tragedy and farce were all rolled up in one.

It’s always bothered me that we never got vaccine Mardi Gras, a sudden moment in which we could all hug each other and dance together without fear. We just got more unfolding, more arguments, more slow disaster. For me, exploring this big idea and writing this book eventually provided a lot of that catharsis I’d looked forward to.

My initial big idea turned out to have a lot to say about COVID culture and how we’ve been frog-boiled by climate breakdown, but also about how uncertain and contingent life is and has always been. We tell our family and partners we’ll always love them, but often it doesn’t work out that way. We make plans and then throw them to the wind. We think we’re on solid ground, and it turns out to be so much quicksand. That’s just part of being human. Finding meaning and companionship despite all that is the challenge we wake up with every day, each day perhaps the last before something makes us pop.

Absence: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop|Powell’s

Author socials: Website|Instagram|Facebook|Threads|Substack

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/06/the-big-idea-andrew-dana-hudson/

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Posted by Athena Scalzi

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/05/the-big-idea-martha-conway/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=60563

Do we as a society tend to abide by the phrase, “if you love something, let it go,” or are we more likely to dig our claws in and refuse to part ways? Author Martha Conway discusses in the Big Idea for her newest novel, We Meet Apart, just how impactful the absence of family members and loved ones can be, and what it feels like to be left behind.

MARTHA CONWAY:

When I was twenty-three, three of my five older sisters divorced themselves from our family. They took care to tell me that their issues were with my parents, not me, but nevertheless, I didn’t see or hear from them in over ten years. They didn’t attend my wedding, which hurt me deeply—it seemed to me that their non-relationship with my parents was more important to them than a relationship with me. 

My feelings back then were tumultuous. I missed my sisters, I was angry, I was confused, and I was sad—often, it felt like, simultaneously. Later, when my mother died quite suddenly, I felt the same way: an avalanche of mixed emotions.

What do you do when a loved one leaves, or dies? Would you follow them if you could, even if it meant giving up your own independence, your own future? And how do you honor all the many emotions you feel without drowning in them?

In my speculative historical novel We Meet Apart, two American sisters find themselves stranded in Ireland in 1940, but in two separate worlds. They believe their whole family has died. One sister, Gaby, is devastated with grief but lives a comfortable life; her younger sister Sabine is angry and must fight to survive in a war-torn country. When they finally meet—for only an hour a day, at dusk, in that thin veil between two worlds—they must decide whether to stay together or part, probably forever. Staying together is familiar and comfortable, but it doesn’t allow for their personal growth. Parting means growth, separation, and possibly danger.

As I was writing this novel I found myself wondering: can a person give up a loved one voluntarily? And what are the consequences? What are the consequences of hanging on? 

The older I get, the more often I hear a similar story to my own from friends and acquaintances: they have a family member who is “off stage” or “out of the family” or “not speaking to the rest of us.” The shame I once felt around my own broken family has lessened, knowing that others have had this experience, too. 

Today I have a good relationship with two of these sisters, but it took time. Partway through writing We Meet Apart, when it became clear to me that one sister was going to go her own way, I felt a kind of acceptance. Children grow up, families change, siblings relocate, and the nuclear family shifts into another form. Sometimes, when it happens suddenly and without warning, it feels more impactful. But it always happens, to one degree or another. As the saying goes, the only constant in life is change.

We Meet Apart: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop

Author’s Socials: Website|Facebook|Instagram|Substack

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/05/the-big-idea-martha-conway/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=60563

Posted by Athena Scalzi

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/04/an-unexpected-culinary-adventure-at-the-denver-airport/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=60495

What’s the deal with airline food? Jokes aside, airport food is known by and large to be rather pricey while also being not so fantastic of quality. If you fly a lot, you know your options are limited to packaged snack foods, dubious egg salad sandwiches, or the world’s coldest bowl of soup from the A gate Chili’s. A fun-size candy bar isn’t so fun when it’s $5, is it?

Why is airport food so bad? Surely there has to be another way, right? Can’t we have decent meals at decent prices, or is it truly impossible because of the fact you’re in an airport?

Well, I’m happy to report there is an airport that has the solution to our problems. The Denver International Airport.

I have flown through Denver more than a few times, but never had time during my connections to explore. Maybe a quick coffee, sure, but definitely not enough time to wait an hour on a waitlist for a speakeasy hidden behind a bookstore facade. Until now.

For a myriad of reasons, I found myself at the Denver Airport at about 11am and my flight wasn’t until 5pm. The only other time I’ve had quite that much time at an airport was a layover at Heathrow, and since I was with my father we went to the Centurion Lounge for the entirety of the five hours and I ate tons of food and binged The Bear.

Also, quick shout out to the transportation company that took me to the airport. Groome Transportation picked me up at their Monument Park-n-Ride location and I had a very pleasant shared shuttle ride. The driver was very friendly and safe on the road, and helped me with my bags. It was fifty dollars and a little over an hour to the airport. I have had much shorter drives for considerably more money when using Lyft, so if you don’t mind sharing a big ol’ shuttle with a friendly driver, Groome may be of interest to you! They have a ton of different locations and airports they go to.

Back to the actual airport, I was worried about TSA lines (despite the large amount of time I had to kill), but because I was Sky Priority with Delta and have CLEAR, I actually got through security very quickly and smoothly. Having money is a hell of a convenience.

I wanted a sit down restaurant to have lunch at, so I asked the Delta check-in agent for recommendations (there was no one in line behind me). He told me to check out Root Down in the C gates, so off I went.

Root Down is actually a restaurant in Denver, so this airport version, called Root Down DIA, is their second location. They are two of five restaurants under the Edible Beats family. Edible Beats is a 100% employee-owned business, and are committed to offering seasonal veggie-forward dishes through sustainable practices, like being 100% wind-powered and having 50% of their ingredients sourced right from Colorado.

When I got to the restaurant, there was a line to be seated, and I ended up waiting about fifteen minutes for a table for one. There’s also a grab-and-go kiosk of some of their menu items if you don’t have time to wait. I was sat at a two top table and brought water and menus.

I was offered both the brunch/lunch menu and the all-day menu because there was about fifteen minutes left on their brunch offerings. So I really had my pick of the litter.

For a beverage, I wanted something fun but wasn’t feeling alcohol (yet), so I got their Coconut Gin Fizz cocktail. It is listed as available as N/A, so it ended up being coconut milk, lime, ginger, and soda water. I thought I got a picture of it, but I guess I didn’t! It was in a short glass with ice and a pineapple frond as a garnish. The drink was creamy and nicely sweetened while still being refreshing and just a little fizzy, with enough ginger to give it flavor but not enough to overwhelm it. Very nice beverage!

For my food, I had a really hard time deciding, but I ended up going with their Green Chili Cornbread Bites, followed by their Beet & Goat Cheese Salad.

The cornbread bites came with goat cheese, jalapeno jam, and a whipped honey butter. I asked for the jalapeno jam on the side just in case it was too spicy for me:

These three pieces cost $9.60, and they were so bomb. I love cornbread, and this warm, soft cornbread really hit the spot. The jalapeno jam proved too hot for my weak self, so the cornbread was thoroughly enjoyed without it.

For their beet salad, it came with goat cheese, arugula, radish, hazelnuts, beet-sunflower pesto, and basil vinaigrette:

Okay, first off, this salad was HUGE. Secondly, oh my gosh it was so good. I have had many a beet and goat cheese salad in my day, but this one really takes the cake. Like, holy cannoli, it was seriously fantastic. The mix of regular beets and golden beets was a really nice touch, the hazelnuts provided some excellent crunch to contrast the soft goat cheese (which they did not skimp on), and the flavors were so fresh it felt like I was eating right out of a summer garden.

This salad cost $20, but honestly for the size and quality it’s a small price to pay. I am still thinking about this damn salad.

Of course, I had to get some dessert. I chose their Avocado Key Lime Pie that comes with a chocolate crust and passionfruit coulis:

Holy cow that’s a lot of pie! Now, it was $12 for the slice, so it makes sense it’s a big ol’ piece. I actually ordered the pie out of curiosity more than anything, because I was wondering if an avocado pie would taste good. This pie was definitely very interesting. If you do not like avocado at all, do not get this pie. While the flavor of avocado was more subtle and not as grassy as it usually is, it was definitely still very present, just toned down and sweeter. The chocolate crust was my least favorite part of this pie, but the passionfruit coulis was the star of the show with its bright, punchy, tropical flavor that helped cut through some of the extra sweet indulgent fluff. Glad I tried it, but would probably opt for their butterscotch pudding next time.

Root Down had so many vegan and gluten-free options, I highly recommend checking this place out if you have dietary restrictions, or if you just want to have a really fresh tasty meal while traveling without breaking the bank! My total was fifty bucks before tip.

After my delicious and filling lunch, I decided to treat myself to a massage, and got a 20-minute chair massage from Colorado Oasis, also in the C gates. It was so relaxing I started to drift off towards the end. I usually prefer to get massages in between flights so I’m not so stiff from the first leg of the journey, but I was plenty happy to get one before my flight.

Finally, I made my way to the A gates, where my flight was leaving from. I wasn’t sure what to do with all my time, since I had left my new book at my friend’s apartment on accident. Just then, I ended up walking past what might have been the smallest airport bookstore I had ever seen. Just a few bookshelves in an alcove. I walked past at first, but then stopped and doubled back when I realized I saw something strange at this bookshop. A host stand.

When I went back, there were two people at the host stand, talking to the hostess about wait times. Wait times for what?! I had to know. Turns out, the bookstore was a front for a speakeasy called Williams & Graham. Wouldn’t you know it, they also have an actual Denver location only a block away from Root Down. How funny!

Obviously, I had to put my name on the waitlist. She estimated a 45 minute wait for me. Well, I certainly had the time to kill, so I sat and waited excitedly. It ended up taking closer to an hour, but I finally got escorted in and seated at the bar. It was an intimate atmosphere, with low lighting and warm woods. Once I was sat, the bartenders welcomed me by name and introduced themselves, as well. That was a pleasant surprise in formality.

I was handed this soft, leather-bound menu:

Here’s a look at the food offered at this fine establishment:

A moment of admiration for this frog legs description:

I’m willing to forgo the classiness and old-world feel of a swanky speakeasy if it means reading the words “3 thicc frog booties.”

And of course, bevvies:

Can’t go wrong with the classics, but don’t miss out on their house cocktails, either:

That being said, I did end up ordering a Caipirinha for my first drink:

(This photo was after I had my first drink of it, so that’s why it’s not completely full.)

Y’all already know I love a refreshing Caipirinha. I never get tired of that tart, acidic limes and sweet demerara sugar combo. This drink was so light and fresh and they gave me hella limes in my glass. I watched them make it right in front of me and was mesmerized by the muddling to release all that delish flavor. Great drink, no notes.

As tempted as I was to order the frog legs, I ended up trying out the deviled eggs instead:

There is no description on the menu for what comes on these, so I’ll tell you myself. Candied bacon, feta, and serrano peppers. Notice something missing? That’s right, once again my weak palette has made me opt out of the spicy ingredients in a dish! I asked for them sans serrano. I’m sorry, okay!

I did not think I could eat five deviled eggs in a row, but I definitely did and they were amazing. The filling was smooth and flavorful, and the candied bacon was the perfect mix of smoky and sweet. The microgreens added a fresh component that brightened up the heavier components, and it’s safe to say I’d gladly eat another plateful of these right now.

I wasn’t sure what to order for a second drink, but I started talking to the bartender and we bonded over our intense love for espresso martinis. About two minutes later, he just so happened to have an extra espresso martini lying around that needed drank:

Okay what a gorg martini! That foam design is amazing, I’ve never had any bar do that before. I loved this espresso martini, the sweet cream on top perfectly balanced the rich, Italian espresso liqueur and cold brew. I said I was happy to pay for the drink because I was planning on ordering it anyways as my second drink, but the bartender insisted it would’ve gone to waste otherwise and really I was doing him a favor by drinking it. I graciously accepted.

Since I had passed up on the unique experience of trying frog legs, I decided to instead try bone marrow for the first time. For their bone marrow, it was a roasted beef bone topped with bacon jam and microgreens, with ciabatta toast on the side:

Y’all, the presentation is absolutely serving. Like it’s giving class, it’s giving sophistication, okay. You can’t tell me that doesn’t look like the most amazing bone marrow you’ve ever seen. Granted, my experience is limited but I was so ready to dive into this.

Rarely has such incredible flavor graced my tastebuds. This bone marrow had the most luxurious, buttery texture. It was like liquid, fatty gold. The bacon jam was rich and chewy, and all of these textures went perfectly on the crusty ciabatta toast. I was soaking that shit UP. No crumb went un-ate here. I was scraping those bones clean. I cannot believe this was only $23 and it’s actually only $20 at their main location. (Similarly, the main location has the deviled eggs for $10 instead of $11.)

If you have not had bone marrow, or have been too scared to try it, I’m telling you right now you will not regret giving it a shot. I have been dreaming about this dish, and honestly I’m hoping to find another restaurant soon that has it on the menu. I need more marrow in my life. I never imagined it would be that good.

My bill ended up being just over $50 since I got a drink on the house (again, incredibly generous, thank you to my bartender <3). Any time I get something on the house, I like to tip as if I had had that item on the bill. Of course, in the instance of one drink that means just a couple bucks extra on the tip, but I figure that’s a decent guideline to go by.

Not only did I have incredible service, drinks, and food at Williams & Graham, but I also sat next to a girl at the bar who was also by herself. We started chatting and it turned out we had so much in common, and she was so sweet and fun to talk to! When we both paid and left, she asked if we could get a photo on her little film camera for her travel scrapbook. I said of course, and also gave her a Colorado sticker I had bought at a gift shop so she could use it in her scrapbook. I was so grateful to have such a nice dining companion!

If you have the time to spare, I cannot recommend these places enough. It’s amazing to see that you can have high quality, from scratch kitchens that are dedicated to good food, good drinks, and good service in an airport. No longer shall we settle for McDonald’s and Dunkin’ when we can have craft kitchens and talented bartenders.

Who knew getting to the airport early could be so amazing? (Do NOT get to the Dayton or Cincinnati airports that early, you will be disappointed and bored.)

Would you try bone marrow (or if you have, do you like it?) Do you prefer your eggs deviled or undeviled? Does Root Down’s veggie-forward fare interest you? Let me know in the comments, and have a great day!

-AMS

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/04/an-unexpected-culinary-adventure-at-the-denver-airport/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=60495

Posted by John Scalzi

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/04/and-now-i-reveal-the-contents-of-my-fbi-file/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=60503

Turns out… it’s nothing.

I sent in a Freedom of Information Act request in April, after the unpleasantness regarding the Correspondent’s Dinner attacker, because I was curious if it or indeed anything else had gone down on my permanent record. Nope! If you believe the FBI — admittedly more difficult in these latter days than it was before — I have no record in their files. Apparently despite my three decades of writing in the public eye and two decades of being reasonably well-known author, nothing I have done (or that others have said about me) is cause for the FBI to say to itself “maybe we should keep track of him.”

Which, I guess, good? I had assumed there might be something, even if it was tangential and/or primarily related to other people with bigger and more substantial files. People have had FBI files for even less suspicious activity than I have ever offered to the world. But no, there’s nothing of note. At least now I don’t have to pay the extra that would have been required if the search had needed more than a couple of hours to dig out everything the bureau had on me. My search was quick! And cheap!

I suppose the FBI could be lying about having a file on me, but in all sincerity I doubt it. I know my own past and it is both law-abiding and, from the perspective of law enforcement, boring; I’ve never been cited for anything worse than speeding, and even that was more than a decade ago. And no matter how much certain right-wing bile-spewers on the Internet want to paint me as a flaming socialist threat to decent society for writing books they don’t like (also something that peaked more than a decade ago), in reality there’s nothing in my political beliefs or actions that paints me as terribly subversive. The most “subversive” thing I’ve done is donate money to the Southern Poverty Law Center, and even that doesn’t rate, not even now when the current administration is (laughably) trying to go after them. We all have to live with the reality that I am, in fact and officially, a step below “mostly harmless.”

It’s never too late to get an FBI file, I hear some of you saying. You are not wrong, and also, I’m not sure how I would be going about doing that. I am not, as it turns out, getting more conservative with age, which is a thing people used to say would generally happen. My rather unremarkable principles turn out to be more radical as I go along, if only because the political center in the US has shifted so wildly right while I have mostly stayed in the same place. But clearly that’s not enough to rate interest in itself. My own revolutionary action, such as it is, is less about taking it to the streets (Bradford, OH is not a hotbed of protest marches) and more about openly donating money, both individually and through our family foundation. The IRS has a file on me, for certain. I’ve seen that.

So: No FBI file after all. Which, fine and good. I don’t suppose if the FBI or any other “alphabet” organization in our government really wants to find out more about me, that they would lack public information to do so. They could start here, the official repository of my thoughts for the last 28 years. Hello, FBI and everyone else! There’s a search function here! Have fun!

— JS

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/04/and-now-i-reveal-the-contents-of-my-fbi-file/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=60503