kaberett: Clyde the tortoise from Elementary, crawling across a map, with a red tape cross on his back. (elementary-emergency-clyde)
A few weekends ago I visited the NHM with A. We visited the butterflies, which are always good; I particularly enjoyed that they've moved the banana plants that are always covered in caterpillars to the beginning rather than the end of the route, so you get to move through the life cycle rather more -- the readily-identifiable caterpillars are now before the pupation hut, where we saw an actually only halfway hatched butterfly for the first time, and we also got to see several sizes of Pale Owl caterpillar, all of which have delightfully the same face. We met a couple of new butterflies that we totally failed to identify (black! with red stripy lower wings!) in addition to all the excellent iridescent teal nonsense, and as ever the route is juuuuuuuuust short enough that the "hallucinating that there are somehow impossibly butterflies inside my clothes" doesn't start until I'm right at the very end.

We also took a quick spin around the Life in the Dark exhibition, not expecting great things, but were pleasantly surprised! Particularly compared to the exhibition on colours and the one on venom, this was surprisingly well curated -- though it did still suffer from "items in cases and their descriptions are inexplicably numbered in the opposite direction to that of travel". (Also of note is that there is a central section, otherwise very dark, that features flashing but apparently not strobing lighting; this allows the Ceiling Art Installation to give the effect of bats swirling around above your head and does have warning notices posted, but I didn't spot an alternative route through, though I admittedly wasn't looking terribly hard.)

Read more... )

Not last weekend but the weekend before we went on a Group Outing to Woburn, where I think I had probably not been since I were wee. It turns out that they have no wifi and basically no phone signal of any kind, which made coordinating two groups Somewhat Trickier Than We'd Expected for a Major Public Attraction. There were lots of things I enjoyed (the buckets halfway up a tree for the giraffes! the people feeding the giraffes from a jeep! the tiny elephant! the giraffe research student, with attendant ranger crossly telling everyone that yes THIS person was parked counter the flow of traffic with their windows open but that didn't mean YOU got to! the giraffe storage sheds with Very Tall Doors! the capybara! the parents very discreetly telling their children to stop watching the enthusiastically-shagging parrots because They Were Busy and Wanted Some Private Time! the agouti, which are Round and Shaped Like A Friend and have Rubbish Little Tails!), but obviously my favourite was the tortoises.

I Learned Some Facts about the Tortoises! At Woburn they've got five or so Aldabra tortoises (I met four but another couple were? hiding?), nine years old and ranging in size from about 15kg (Flo is tiny and runty and nobody's quite sure why but they're fairly certain she wouldn't have survived in the wild) to about 30kg (... everyone else). This means that they are still just about small enough to deadlift (they are an awkward shape, okay) when it's time to go to bed: they sort of wave their legs in the air with a ponderous indignance, but when deposited at the entrance to their (heated) hut (with browsing material inside) they do all go "ah, yes, maybe this is after all a good idea, you are forgiven," and plod solemnly inside to continue munching.

Apparently they're being target-trained against the day they're too heavy to lift, but they're not quiiiiiiiiiite there yet. Target training consists of giving them a treat (accompanied by a clicker) every time they boop their snoot on a proferred stick, and ignoring them if they ignore it, which Flo (the tiniest) in particular is having difficulty with: it was explained to us that after about fifteen minutes in the enclosure, keepers who are new to it always emerge looking slightly spooked and promptly seek advice from a seasoned veteran.

It is always the same advice.

"Why," they ask plaintively, "is she ineffectually FOLLOWING ME EVERYWHERE, it's kind of creepy." "Ah," say the veteran keepers, "did you give her a pat? Well then."

Read more... )
kaberett: Toph making a rock angel (toph-rockangel)
Garnet schist comes first, of course - well, it has to, really: it's why I'm a geologist. Specifically, the garnet schist from the Rotmoosferner above Obergurgl, in the Oetztal in Tirol in Austria. A Google image search for Granatglimmerschiefer is indicative.

After that, I think it has to be serpentine, and particularly Lizard serpentine: it's what you get when you shove huge amounts of water through the mantle (about three times the rock volume, because you need to carry away the waste product from the chemical reaction too...). There's relatively few places where significant quantities are exposed at surface level - ophiolites are weird and rare things, and we're still not quite sure how they happen. Kynance Cove, Cornwall is my favourite exposure - it's six miles along the coast path from home, in at least one sense of home, and it's that stretch that I could pretty much walk with my eyes closed. (But it's a different stretch that has the amazing green-and-purple not-exactly-augengneiss outcropping down the sides of a headland atop which is an Iron-age fort, and I'm very fond of that, too.)

Blueschist is quite fun, for all it's metamorphic, in that it's actually blue. Along a similar theme, labradorite is gorgeous - and it's a feldspar, of the same class of mineral as plagioclase feldspar, which is always and forever my favourite mineral to look at under cross-polarised light, because PINSTRIPES.

I've got soft spots for every rock series I've ever worked on - the Borrowdale Volcanic Group; the Soufriere Hills Volcano; my current grab-bag of ocean island basalts - but at the end of the day what it probably comes down to for me, if I had to pick one only, is garnet-bearing granite. Because - granites are full of plag, and they're igneous, and you can do all sorts of fun science on them; and they're gorgeous; and, well, garnets. Garnets are, as I say, the reason I'm a geologist.
kaberett: Blue-and-red welly boots on muddy ground. (boots)
[December Days masterpost, with two days still kinda-sorta available - I've got fillers/secondary requests planned for them, but if you'd like something and haven't given me a prompt yet, please feel encouraged to!]

... actually probably has to be my dinner suit, which also has the distinctions of being (1) the most expensive clothing I own and (2) the only pair of trousers I have ever owned that actually fits.

At the beginning of my second year, because of Reasons, I ended up going to a Properly Formal dinner. Like, actually and seriously black tie. The most appropriate thing I had to wear was a green silk floor-length ballgown. (I wore cargo shorts underneath it for the sake of pockets.) It was pretty much then that I swore I was never going to present normatively femme for anything ever again, and I got [personal profile] hairyears to introduce me to his tailor, and I got a suit made.

I have since worn it to perform in more concerts than I can count; at the kind of formal dinner that's routine at Cambridge; to my graduation; and to a couple of funerals and similar functions. It's my favourite not just because it is clothing that actually fits me (and was deliberately tailored to look good while I'm playing music) and is much more multi-purpose and probably fundamentally cheaper than buying dresses for all those occasions would have been, but because in its way it's a symbol of becoming an adult, of saying "this is who I am and who I am going to be", of being sure enough of myself to make investments.

A few photos. )

(Of course, there's lots of other things I love - the teal knee-high DMs; my shirts, various; my first cufflinks, silver and Lizard serpentine; the hoodies I curl up in and have as my armour; but this -- this is special.)
kaberett: Blue-and-red welly boots on muddy ground. (boots)
When I was ten and in year 6, we got a treat: in addition to the red and yellow and powder-blue powder paints in art, on one very special day we were also (just the once, because now we were old and responsible) permitted Prussian Blue, and I fell in love.

(I was already very, very fond of blue. This icon is a photograph taken when I can't have been more than about six - I had the dress when I was in year two - and it is ridiculous and satin-y and stiff, with puffed sleeves and a petticoat, and as you can see I am wearing blue tights and wellington boots with blue trim. I was standing reading in the sunlight at the bottom of the garden, underneath the apple tree; I have my back to it, facing back up the garden towards the house.)

I loved peacocks and their feathers - because of the blue.

Now it is rapidly apparent if you meet me, or visit my home: my silicone cookware is blue; my sheets are blue (and my duvet covers have dinosaurs); my blankets are blue; my towels are blue; the postcards stuck on my wall tend towards blue; my 2013 diary is teal taffeta; my three most commonly worn scarves are blue; I own two pairs of teal boots and one pair of teal trousers and one blue shirt; my favourite pendants all contain blue; my wheelchair is blue; and my t-shirts, when stacked neatly on my shelves, divide very neatly in two: dominantly black and, yes, dominantly blue. My overnight bag is blue and contains teal eyeliner and teal body glitter. My backpacks have been blue since secondary school. The arms of my glasses are mottled translucent teal and brown. The curtains in the bedroom of my childhood are striped rich blues and purples, streaked with silver.

I have spent hours staring at the varied blues of the sea and of the sky. I am entranced by opals and labradorite and lapis lazuli and azure.

I don't, I'm afraid, have good stories for you as to why blue, or what about it, but here we have the thing and, it would seem, the whole of the thing.

There is nothing in the world quite like the blue of glaciers or of gentians.
kaberett: Stylized volcano against a stormy sky, with streams of lava running down its sides. (volcano)
... or several, because I can't actually choose; sorry-not-sorry.

First up, of course, is the permanent phonolitic lava lake on Mount Erebus, Antarctica.

Because it's in Antarctica, where summer temperatures can get as high as a balmy -20degC; and because it's at 3800m above sea level; there's no atmospheric water vapour. This means that you can stick infrared sensors on the roof of the huts at base camp and get beautiful, beautiful spectra of the gas plumes coming off the lake - most places, there's so much atmospheric interference that you can't really do this. And the absolutely beautiful thing is that, most of the time, the lake blups along quietly to itself, on an approximately twenty-minute cycle (as lava drains back down to the subterranean reservoir, and undegassed hotter stuff rises), and you can watch the composition of the gas plume changing over the course of that cycle. ... and then sometimes it operates on an eight-hour cycle instead, where every eight hours the entire contents of the lake get kicked out, only for it to slowly refill, and if that happens during field season it makes checking all the monitoring instruments a bit more exciting...

The second is the Ossiachersee, one of about seven big lakes in Austria, and the one in the vicinity of where my family's from.

Because More Austria: the Seenplatten in the Oetztal. There's a gorgeous shoulder 600m up from the valley floor - putting you at 2500 Hohenmeter - and it's beautiful Alpine meadows, with spongy grass and strings of small lakes, and I adore it up there. Along the less-walked patches, there's marmots you can get within three feet of; and on the way up you get to pick and eat bilberries and cranberries.

... and finally, the Emerald Lakes by the Red Crater on the Tongariro Crossing, in NZ, which are absolutely stunning, and are a very nice thing to look down on while you're boot-skiing down the interminable scree. I can't immediately find any photos I think do them justice, so you're going to have to look for yourself to get an impression!

I sort of thought that lakes weren't really a thing I did, particularly - I'm from the Fens, which is swamp; and from Cornwall, which is heath and cliffs - but apparently I do. Huh. :-)
kaberett: Euphorbia cf. serrata, green crown of leaves/flowers central to image. (spurge)
Let's start up with some definitions: the anger blanket is my weighted blanket, single-duvet-sized and 7kg in mass; proprioception is broadly speaking knowing where your appendages are; and claustrophilia is liking being in enclosed spaces.

Weighted blankets, clothing, etc are generally marketed as sensory aids for autistic kids. To some extent, the idea is that we don't know where our limbs are - or have a looser sense of it than allistic folk - but that's not really the case for me, particularly. There's an extent to which I like the blanket because it makes it very definite where all of my me is, and makes it harder work to move - which is reassuring - but there is more to it than that.

Like: normal blankets and duvets and coverings are distressingly light. They move in ways I can't quite predict, with the kind of gentle touch that can make me panic if it catches me at the wrong moment, because it is too much. It's even worse in summer, when I need something covering me, but things with any heft are too warm, and I end up disconsolately trying to wrap myself up tight in a spare sheet and having it not really be good enough.

And: sometimes the only way for me to feel safe is to curl up somewhere walls at my back - preferably a corner, with a low roof, so under a desk or in the corner of a lower bunk - and the dark and the knowing that no-one else can get in and I can watch all approach routes and no-one and nothing can touch me unexpectedly and I can get arbitrary amounts of pressure against my back and legs by pressing into the walls.

And also: I talk a lot about feeling disconnected, disjointed, from my body - about how important scent and jewelry and other adornment are to reminding myself that I am real, that I am here, that we are a collective, my body and I; and about how this is... mm, not alternative, but additional to various coping/reminding mechanisms that are generally much more stigmatised/pathologised. Turns out, curling up under a weighted blanket is another way for me to get that feeling of groundedness, of location; is another tool in my box.

I am overcome with wonder every time I realise how much I have learned about myself.
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
-- that they are like blankets or warm jumpers or soup: full of potential. Because they can be beautiful and intricate and handed down through generations, or they can be new and designed particle by particle, or they can be both. (Everything old is new again.)

That they are fuzzy: there is a thing I want to work into a poem at some point, which is that gift means present and Gift means poison and there's obviously something in there about poisoned chalices, about how the act of giving (and giving and giving) can destroy us, about how the things we choose to give as gifts can be toxic to the recipients, about generosity and care and gentleness.

That they taste, that they have different mouth-feels, mouth-shapes. That I know how to be polite in German and imperious in English; that my poetry is English but my lullabies and prayers are German.

That they are the tools by which I communicate: hello, I'm a person. Would you like to make something?

That I have the choice, every day, whether to use them to heal or to hurt; and in choosing to help I remind myself that I am human, that I am real, that I am here.
kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
[December days masterpost; still a couple of slots open at the end of the month, if there's something you'd like to see me talk about!]

Books. I like books. And I got asked about them, so that's a win all around, I think.

I'm pretty happy to start out with "books I have literally carried halfway around the planet with me in hard copy": Staying Alive and its sequel anthologies, published by Bloodaxe Books. They're collections of modern poetry and they are fantastic. (To that section of my shelf I have in recent years added Emergency Kit, edited by Jo Shapcott and acquired in a second-hand book fair in the Lake District; a translation of Neruda's 100 Love Sonnets; and a miscellaneous collection of Brecht, Rilke, Duffy and Armitage.)

The Howl's Moving Castle series probably comes next. During the very first parts of my Year of Madness I can't remember doing anything much other than sleeping - I know other things must have happened, I just can't remember what. Next, I worked my way through most of the Studio Ghibli films for the first time; and after that, I was well enough to start reading again, and I devoured everything by Diana Wynne Jones I could get my hand on. They are still safe and comforting and something I will return to over and over again, because if nothing else they taste of getting better.

... and the same is true of the Susan books in the Discworld, especially of Soul Music and Hogfather and Thief of Time.

A more recent find was Malignant Sadness: Anatomy of Depression, by Lewis Wolpert. He's a biologist with chronic severe depression, and writes about both, in a style that is just exactly right for me: he talks about the history of its conceptualisation and treatment, how both have developed, and he intersperses it with just enough of his own life to make it clear that he too has walked that path without leaving me feeling voyeuristic; and with absolute precision and absolute grace he mentions, in passing, how inadequate language is to describe the experience. (Sonntag's Illness As Metaphor I find interesting and useful for similar reasons.)

This doesn't begin to scratch the surface of books I will enthusiastically reread and enthusiastically recommend, but it probably does a pretty good job of summarising the ones that feel most like home to me, at the moment.
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[Daily December masterpost; still open slots, if there's anything you'd like me to write about!]

I've written before about my relationship with perfume, which is probably helpful but unnecessary background to this post; nonetheless! It is there if you want it.

And then, of course, one of the things that I want to note first off is that the perfumes I most like to wear don't always have any relation at all to the scents I'm fondest of. Yesterday, I talked some about foods that smell reassuringly of home: parsley and nutmeg and walnuts and caraway and rye. There's more, of course: fresh yeast; stewing apples; the sea; catabatic winds.

Whereas the perfume I wear - I wear it for myself, not for other people, so that I have something familiar and comforting that I can bury myself in if I need to escape. It's very much about having something familiar and sensory to retreat to, if necessary; more on this later in the month.

-- I was saying. The perfume I wear is intended to be things that are comforting to me; I care relatively little about what other people think of it, beyond the obvious points of "not setting off people's allergies" and "treat for the boything". I tend to gravitate towards things that are heavy on woods or vanillas or stones or leathers as base notes - things I can interpret as weighty and grounding and strongly located - though on days when I am feeling sharper, spikier, I've got a range of scents based on white musk, with varying amounts of citrus and lavender. I mostly don't wear florals, largely because I'm allergic to lots of them; and beyond that because I tend to prefer things that aren't just or overwhelmingly floral - Penhaligon's Vaara is pretty much the only floral nonsense I wear, and that mostly in summer.

Fruits is a different matter: I routinely wear things that smell of mandarin or apricot or raspberry over the top of the base notes I talked about above. Herbs and spices are also, in general, a yes - though BPAL's cinnamon note amps to the point of drowning out everything else in the perfume on me (and their snow note turns into "motorway service station toilet cleaner"). Chocolate and hazelnut are things I adore.

If you want to know about particular things I wear a lot, or am wearing this week, by all means ask in comments; or if you'd like to list things you like and ask me for a rec by all means do :-)

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kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
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