A thing about which I am Pleased

[kaberett]

Cut for social anxiety.

Today I:

• played an unfamiliar board game
  
• in a pub
  
• with a group >50% of whom were strangers
  
• with a rules set-up I hadn't watched
  
• having not read the rulebook

... and, as an added enormous bonus, I didn't come anywhere close to crying.

(I didn't win! I did manage to bluff pretty much everyone, including me_and, about my intentions and goals.)

A year ago I was still bursting into tears multiple times over the course of very gently and collaboratively playing a game in my own living room with just A having read the rulebook thoroughly and having it on hand for further reference when it was a game I had been actively wanting to play for years. I am so proud of myself. And, natch, very grateful to A for his patience and encouragement and willingness to be my spotter as I try this stuff out. <3

Comments

[angelofthenorth]

Well done!

[kaberett]

Thank you!

[alexseanchai]

:)

[kaberett]

Pretty much. :D I enjoyed myself, even! (And only participated in one game, but watched enough of enough others that I can probably play them next time I'm in a space where they come up.)

[me_and]

<3

[kaberett]

no u ♥

[worlds_of_smoke]

Go you!! You should totally be proud of yourself.

[kaberett]

I super am AND I ENJOYED MYSELF. :D

[watersword]

That is SO AWESOME.

[kaberett]

\o/ Thank you!

[steorra]

Yay!

I tend to say that I'm bad at liking games. I tend to find them either stressful or boring (sometimes both), apart from a handful of exceptions (most word games are good; some others are good or at least okay).

[kaberett]

So things I am unambiguously comfortable with are pretty much "Scrabble".

I tend to find them stressful also; I'm not entirely sure I understand the point but as a framework for structured socialising if I manage to work with the stress it seems to go more or less okay, for me, and I'm working quite hard (in an ongoing sense) on "I get to enjoy things without being able to articulate why".

Probably will have some more bouncing-ideas-off-people as to why they enjoy the things, though, or possibly just read up some on the psychology of games...

[hairyears]

I'll need to unpack this one, too.

[the_rck]

Oh, wow. I'm actually in awe. I still can't do most board or card games because I start to shake and because I fall apart, physically, after. Somehow, I react physically as if I was in a life or death situation.

I can do some cooperative games. I think it's that, even if I'm still reacting as if there's a crisis, it doesn't hit as hard because I have allies.

[kaberett]

Thank you. <3

The reason "acclimatising to board games" bumped itself up my priority list is largely that me_and really enjoys them and Wants To Be Able To Share His Hobbies With Me -- in the context of a lot of his hobbies being fundamentally inaccessible to me because of the nature of my disabilities and brainwrong. So: we have spent several years, at this point, painstakingly building up trust and resilience in a wide variety of contexts, and doing exposure therapy in areas I find less threatening than board games, and on the basis of that trust (and having played some Scrabble together, which I'm very comfortable and confident with and A really... isn't)... we've been able to gradually build me up a database of experiences that this isn't always awful and can be enjoyable. I still sometimes snap at people; when playing with anyone new I have to do the ground rules of "it's got to be okay for me to decide I can't keep playing; if I start hyperventilating or crying please pretend you haven't noticed; if I ask a question about gameplay mechanic and it isn't clearly addressed to you specifically or the table at large, ignore it unless you're A" before getting started.

Again: it is taking literal years. But... I'm quite enjoying the evidence that I can get better at this stuff.

[zasu]

I never knew there were other people who have a hard time with board games! I forced myself to play them (along with card games) with my son when he was younger because they seemed to incredibly important to him, but the whole time I had to restrain myself from jumping up and running away screaming. lol. There's something about playing board games that just makes me feel so trapped. We have some friends that invite us over for holidays, and they always play a board game or two. I partly enjoy them (they're usually trivia games, which I'm sort of good at), but afterwards, I go home and agonize about how I must have annoyed everyone else, they must hate me, I let my partners down, I'm so stupid... blah blah blah.

Anyway, nice to meet you!

[crazyscot]

*applause*

[kaberett]

\o/ thank you. :-)

[ironed_orchid]

That's awesome

[kaberett]

\o/ thank you!

[ghoti]

<3

[kaberett]

♥

[mathemagicalschema]

Yes! Last night I was playing a game with some friends via Tabletop Simulator, and I had no idea how the controls were supposed to work and I felt pretty awkward about that. But we ended up playing Spyfall and I had a good time and did well and :D

non-anxiety about games is a good feel <3

[kaberett]

ohhhhhhh well done you & solidarity-cheering <3

[lunabee34]

*high five*

[kaberett]

Thank you. :D

[umadoshi]

Go you! That really is awesome. ^_^

[kaberett]

\o/ Thank you!

[musyc]

Yay you!

[kaberett]

:D

[swingandswirl]

Yay! Well done, you!

[kaberett]

Yay indeed, and thank you. :D

[divulge]

Hurray! Well done!

[kaberett]

THANK YOU. <333

[tree_and_leaf]

Yay!

[kaberett]

Pretty much. :D

[sfred]

Well done! You are great.

[kaberett]

Thank you <3 I'm feeling pretty good about myself!

[ewt]

Well done! This sounds like it went well.

[chiasmata]

Well done, you!

[vass]

That is so cool.

I am impressed with your work and results.

[the_quorum]

Well done!

[silveradept]

Very excellent for you!

[azurelunatic]

Yay!!!

[davidgillon]

Belated yay you!!