Thinking aloud: scent-free spaces and access clash

[kaberett]

(Quick notes to self, more than anything else, because I'm clearly not going to get this done any other way. Self-injury discussion; breathing stuff.)

Scent-free spaces: access requirement for folk with multiple chemical sensitivity, but actively a problem for me because a lot of the ways I manage autism & depression involve scented products (I sometimes actually just... can't leave the house without them; wearing perfume means that if I'm heading for sensory overload I've an easy way out that doesn't involve stimming in ways that look like self-injury, which it's also good to avoid in public in the interests of avoiding triggering people).

I do take care that any perfume I'm wearing is close to my skin, and most people have to actually have their faces within about three inches of my skin in order to notice the scent at all. However I know that I'm sensitive to trace amounts of tobacco smoke most people don't even notice, so "most people don't notice my perfume" isn't actually a defence here; similarly, that I only wear scents I'm not allergic to doesn't help much.

Sophistry and sollipsism encourage me to argue that tobacco smoke is a carcinogen under all circumstances, and perfume ingredients are incredibly strictly regulated. That doesn't actually make any difference to whether I'm causing any given individual migraine/lung damage/etc, though, and if my argument about smoking is that it's all well and good for it to be a coping mechanism but you need to find a better damn coping mechanism in public, because if I self-injure I take great care not to bleed all over other people's shit, then I can't with any degree of consistency argue that it's okay for me to wear perfume outside my own house. (There is perhaps some mileage in the argument that my perfume usage is also much more localised than it is possible to make smoking, but again I don't think that's really good enough.)

Where I'm at currently: not even slightly avoiding scented products or wearing scent (except that our wash powder is as neutral as we could find and the deodorant I use is scent-free) in the general case; not going to scent-free spaces (largely because none of the spaces I go to anyway are declared scent-free...) [while wearing perfume, but I don't actually own any neutral shower gel]; if I'm aware that people I'm going to be spending time with might have problems then I flag up extremely explicitly that I do use perfume and ask to negotiate around whether I'll be safe provided I avoid particular compounds versus needing to not wear perfume at all.

I'm... getting very stuck on the part where it's pretty frequently the case that Specific Clothes + Specific Jewelry + Specific Scent is the only way I can get out of the house, and I work a lot less well if I don't have all three of them. Need to do more thinking. Hrrgh.

Comments

[lilacsigil]

Just to say I have a very similar experience to jesse_the_k - strong scents, especially alcohol-based perfumes or tobacco - are migraine triggers for me. Except for the occasional overwhelming scent attack, though, it's generally an additive problem. One person with a close-to-body scent is very unlikely to be a problem unless I've already been exposed to much worse all day.

[rosefox]

For me it's not a question of cumulative scent because it's an allergic reaction, not an emotional/psychological reaction. So if I'm surrounded by people who've soaked themselves in eucalyptus oil, which I'm not allergic to, I won't have a reaction. But if I get too close to one person wearing a small amount of cologne that I am allergic to, I might react.

That said, if I'm already sensitized by one person who's wearing a lot of perfume, I will react more to other triggers.

I do try to mitigate my reactions as much as I can, both because it's polite and because I kind of have to in order to live in a scented world. The important thing is that I get to make the calculation of how much hassle I'm willing to go through to be around a perfume-using person. I have one friend who douses himself in cologne--he'll come visit my house, leave, my partner comes home two hours later, sniffs the air, and says, "Oh, was [name] here?" He tries to remember to leave it off before visiting me, but all his clothes are saturated with residual scent. But I still want to spend time with him, so I take a lot of Claritin when I know I'm going to see him. If he comes over to my place, I'll cover a chair before he sits in it and then wash the cover afterwards. I'll drink tea with honey to ease my sore throat. I wouldn't go through this for a lot of people, but for this friend I will. :) Similarly, if I'm going to a big social event that I really want to be at, I'll try to remember to medicate beforehand so that I'm more braced for inevitable scent exposure.

[lilacsigil]

Well, nice to know that your experiences are real and mine are all in my head. Thanks for the Internet diagnosis.

[kaberett]

For what it's worth, I interpreted rosefox as intending to talk about the issue of sensory overload as distinct from the issue of allergic/intolerant reaction. I didn't think they were aiming to invalidate your (obviously real!) experiences (or I'd have addressed the comment); I'd interpreted them as attempting to add to the conversation rather than contradict you. Now that you point it out I can absolutely see the alternative reading; I am going to let rosefox clarify (in response to me rather than in response to <user name="lilacsigil" unless they indicate otherwise, please) if they so desire and take it from there.

[rosefox]

I'm sorry, I didn't see this until I'd posted my comment. Should I move mine?

[kaberett]

No worries, we're all good - leave it where it is (and thank you for the input, which I am pondering and which I am finding helpful!)

[rosefox]

*blink* Beg pardon?

EDIT: OH, I see what you mean. I apologize! I did not at all intend by "emotional/psychological" to suggest that your migraines or migraine triggers lack a physiological basis; I had actually missed the bit about migraines. And regardless of whether your ailments are physiological or psychological obviously they are entirely real and worth considering.

[kaberett]

(Thank you, that was more or less what I assumed you meant! lilacsigil, please let me know if you'd like anything further.)

[lilacsigil]

Thanks for the update, and I'm glad you weren't being dismissive. I've been told often enough that my physical symptoms for everything from migraines to PCOS to cancer were psychological, so I'm probably over-sensitised to it! And my allergies (apart from the one lethal one) work pretty much the same way - they ramp up with exposure.

[kaberett]

Heh, yep, I've got endo and joint hypermobility and depression and PTSD and I'm autistic, so I know that particular snarl-and-bristle well and completely understand it.

And thank you lots for your input, because it really is very helpful to me to have more data on this!