vital functions

[kaberett]

Reading. Finished: a comfort reread of your blue-eyed boys, which fit the bill excellently. Have only restrained myself from launching straight into (even if I could) make a deal with god (and for that matter the other two series) on the grounds that I need to reread Prophet (Helen MacDonald, Sin Blaché) so that I can properly appreciate rydra_wong's a word you've never understood.

You see, I read the first two paragraphs, had a lot of feelings, and promptly decided the way to Maximise Feelings would be to do the reread I didn't set off on immediately after first finishing it.

Thus far I am going "my goodness, I forgot a lot of the detail here". For one this time I am understanding from the get-go the sections that are POV tiny!Adam; the first time round I was looking at the number of pages left and going "this is... a whole nother different character who is going to get braided in at some point???" and not linking things up; this time I am, from the start, and Gaining More From It that way. Had DEFINITELY forgotten the position in text of the various Revelations About Afghanistan. Also definitely getting more out of The Relationship this time through, now I have a better understanding of what it is I'm looking at.

I have also listened to a little bit more of Furiously Happy (Jenny Lawson). There are definitely aspects I don't love (like, as someone who is taking an antipsychotic for non-psychosis reasons, and someone who can at this point go entire years plural without any significant episodes of even very mild psychosis, the way antipsychotics are discussed makes me... a bit twitchy), and I'm annoyed by how much more disruptive needing to reread sentences is in audio than in text (and how much more frequently I'm needing to do it), but also it turns out rather to my own surprise to be a thing I can listen to when I'm not doing anything else with my brain, provided I don't mind not really retaining any of it for longer than about five minutes.

Eating. I have been fed a slightly ludicrous amount of (more-or-less responsibly harvested) wild asparagus this week, which has been A Delight.

A Variety of other things, courtesy of having someone else doing meal prep all week. Still suspicious of Nutritional Yeast, mind.

FIRST STRAWBERRIES from the plot.

Growing. Swung by the plot this evening (courtesy of significant support from A) and in addition to STRAWBERRIES:

• the ridiculous purple kohlrabi are swelling up beautifully and I am delighted
• cherries and redcurrants both thinking about changing colour
• gooseberries also swelling up impressively, and it really does look like I might actually get to make a recipe of some kind this year, if nothing goes horrendously wrong
• Kelvedon Wonder and Sugar Magnolia (dwarf and sugar snap pea, respectively, the latter purple) have both set pods!!! my primary goal with the Sugar Magnolia this year is just to build up a reasonable stock of seeds, rather than to eat lots of them, but Fingers Crossed I'll manage some of each
• greenhouse chillis also mostly survived week without watering, and the sad squash I've not yet planted out perked up considerably with application of liquid feed
• alas two of the sets of squash I planted out Did Not Survive the week of not being watered
• outdoor tomatoes also mostly doing well
• Annoyed by how rapidly the bindweed has tried to take over the fruit cage in my absence (I was only gone a week!) but fixing that is a job for, uh, whenever this migraine fucks off

Observing. No yelling this evening from the hollow where the woodpecker nest is, which in combination with some of the noises coming from the other side of the access road suggests that at least some of the babies fledged successfully while I was away. Fed some eggshell to some wild snails.

Comments

[redbird]

I suspect we're a couple of weeks away from local strawberries here.

[rydra_wong]

on the grounds that I need to reread Prophet (Helen MacDonald, Sin Blaché) so that I can properly appreciate rydra_wong's a word you've never understood.

*muffled happy screaming*

So excited that you're rereading, also deeply flattered that the fic is a motivator (and I hope it can live up to expectations when you get to it!).

The book is SO fascinating and so much fun on the reread; there are all these sneaky (and sometimes agonizing) details that only jump out at you second time round.

the first time round I was looking at the number of pages left and going "this is... a whole nother different character who is going to get braided in at some point???" and not linking things up

I am intrigued by when it clicks for readers that this is tiny!Adam, because just anecdotally among people I know, it seems to span the full gamut from "guessed almost instantly" to "not until the midpoint of the novel" (I seem to have been somewhere in the middle between those extremes). There's no single point where people typically twig.

Also tiny!Adam, oh god. Once it's clicked, he's so clearly and devastatingly continuous with adult!Adam.

[kaberett]

ISN'T HE JUST.

[rydra_wong]

It lightly broke me when I realized that, chronologically, the very first action Adam takes in the story is to insist to Sasha that he's not a ghost. Because ghosts aren't real (and he is real).

[kaberett]

YES. AND THEN IT COMES UP AGAIN, A LITTLE LATER, FROM RAO'S POV (I think).

[rydra_wong]

When they're talking to Kitty?

"Ghosts," Adam repeats, so quietly it's hardly a word at all.

[kaberett]

THAT'S THE ONE.

[rydra_wong]

No yelling this evening from the hollow where the woodpecker nest is, which in combination with some of the noises coming from the other side of the access road suggests that at least some of the babies fledged successfully while I was away.

Hopefully the Fae-Blessed Child has gone forth to flourish in the world!

[rydra_wong]

Btw, I appreciate that you have been dealing with ALL THE STUFF in the past three weeks so I imagine you have zero spoons left, but if at any point it would be fun/pleasing for you to mention bits that jump out at you on the reread, it would make me roll around on the floor in glee.

[kaberett]

OKAY OKAY OKAY LET'S SEE

• 93% of the way through: "Caldwell's like Rao. Someone who inspires unwarranted confidences." which is NOT the first time that phrase has been used in this book no it is NOT
• the Ghost Thing
• "What's done is done": waiting for the explosion; getting it.
• the implication that all of the tiny!Adam POV is stuff that Rao has ended up Knowing!!!
• mild irritation at the assertion that Rao can in fact if he wants to count all of the breaths since Kabul; we have been told he does NOT have perfect recall while asleep and he HAS slept ACTUALLY
• the mirroring of Adam-falls-asleep-because-Rao!!!
• the ongoing long-standing Everything about Sharing Rooms and the ways in which they are and aren't comfortable about it
• the ways Rao reacts to Adam when they're first introduced to the book, and for that matter the way Adam reacts to Rao, which is VERY.
• people noticing that Adam is, in fact, very clever

[rydra_wong]

(Thank you, this is very kind!)

mild irritation at the assertion that Rao can in fact if he wants to count all of the breaths since Kabul; we have been told he does NOT have perfect recall while asleep and he HAS slept ACTUALLY

BUT! He can brute-force it just by truth-testing possible numbers, if he wants, just like we've seen him do with times and dates and the name of EOS PROPHET itself! (He does not want.)

And the text actually says "he could find out how many", not that he could count the breaths.

the implication that all of the tiny!Adam POV is stuff that Rao has ended up Knowing!!!

Yes, there's a thread somewhere where vass and I got into discussing possibilities for how much Rao knows -- and in particular knows about Adam's life -- while merged with Prophet, and how much he might or might not recall afterwards (and obviously I picked one possibility for the fic, but there are definitely multiple ways that could go, and as vass pointed out, potentially deeply terrifying for Adam if Rao ends up knowing all about his life, or even about other ways his life might have gone).

And Rao's definitely picking up some stuff even prior to the hot bay, e.g. knowing about the telescope.

the ongoing long-standing Everything about Sharing Rooms and the ways in which they are and aren't comfortable about it

One of the things that breaks me is the moment in chapter 44 when Adam's anxiety spills over into being compelled to tidy up the chaos surrounding Rao's bed, even though he fully anticipates Rao giving him shit for it (and is surprised when he doesn't).

people noticing that Adam is, in fact, very clever

And god, his take on Veronica's masking: "Adam grudgingly admits that he can only see what she's doing because he does it too. He's just better at it."

[kaberett]

BUT! He can brute-force it just by truth-testing possible numbers, if he wants, just like we've seen him do with times and dates and the name of EOS PROPHET itself! (He does not want.)

And the text actually says "he could find out how many", not that he could count the breaths.

......... you are entirely correct. FINE. FINE I WILL BE LESS IRRITATED. :-p

Yes, there's a thread somewhere where vass and I got into discussing possibilities for how much Rao knows -- and in particular knows about Adam's life -- while merged with Prophet, and how much he might or might not recall afterwards

At some point I will get to it...

One of the things that breaks me is the moment in chapter 44 when Adam's anxiety spills over into being compelled to tidy up the chaos surrounding Rao's bed, even though he fully anticipates Rao giving him shit for it (and is surprised when he doesn't).

... mirroring the chaos around his bed, which Rao also doesn't give him shit for, at the end. <3

[rydra_wong]

Having learned that Adam actually has feelings, Rao is getting markedly better at learning when not to give him shit about things.

ETA: I really love the way that Rao can be very socially-skilled in certain specific respects and wildly oblivious in others; it rings very true, especially from observations of a dear friend of mine with ADHD.

At some point I will get to it...

As and when you have the spoons, it's at:

https://rydra-wong.dreamwidth.org/975551.html?thread=13098943#cmt13098943

[kaberett]

OH THAT WAS THE OTHER ONE -- THE BOOKENDS OF ADAM CATCHING THINGS OUT OF THE AIR.

Chapter 8:

Rao flicks the hard end of a french fry at him. Adam doesn’t even look at it, just snatches it out of the air. If anyone but him had pulled a move like that, it would be remarkable. There’d be astonished laughter. Awe. But it’s not anyone. In absolute silence, Rao watches Adam place the fragment back on the flattened bag.

Chapter 77:

He reaches into his shirt, pulls the chain over his neck and head, drops the tags into one hand, sees Adam’s eyes widen a little at the sight of them, and he doesn’t think he’s being stupid when he tosses them across the few feet to where he sits, but afterwards there’s a flash of adrenaline when he realises just how close he might have come to dying again.

Adam catches them without taking his eyes off Rao. Closes one hand over them in the air.

[rydra_wong]

Yes! Very pleasing bookend.