[brain log]

[kaberett]

Content note for disordered eating (as distinct from eating disorder, but probably crossover) including discussion of calories.

On Monday, by about 8pm I'd managed to eat: a glass of fruit juice, a jam tart, half a meringue. On that, I: got from Enfield to West London, dropped off benefits paperwork in Hammersmith Town Hall, had an hour of counselling, faffed with some paperwork at home, got my foot dressing changed, went back up to Enfield, pushed 2 miles in hills.

Yesterday I had company for lunch and afternoon tea, and managed to make myself a bowl of pasta in the evening.

Today, by about 5pm I'd managed half a meringue and some fruit juice. Via concerted effort in the last hour I've eaten ~250kcal in poppadom and ~500kcal in yoghurt + a tin of peaches. I have a friend coming over for dinner. Things I have done include: change a bunch of lightbulbs; empty the dishwasher and put away everything in the drying rack; left the house to the tune of picking up a freecycle item and swinging by shops; fixing my wheelchair (couple of things had gone wrong); doing some slightly stressful paperwork.

I'm sorted for meals!company through Monday, but I'm still kind of worried that I've apparently hit the point of tracking caloric intake to see whether I've eaten an acceptable minimum (given that normally thinking about caloric intake heads straight for hardcore restriction and is A Bad Plan). Not quite sure why I'm doing this badly at it this week, but noting it here in case. (Possibly related to AD dosage reduction? This is worse than I normally am about eating.)

Comments

[hilarita]

Would phone reminders to eat help? Or is that too likely to cause brainwrong? *hugs* anyway.

[kaberett]

I do not currently have a suitable device; when I do my meds reminders do this trick (in that I try to take meds at 4-hour intervals, and they need to be taken with food).

[ghoti]

<3

[kaberett]

♥!

[davidgillon]

pushed 2 miles in hills

Eep! Shoulder muscles quivering just thinking about that.

I can be as bad or worse in not eating through the day, it's not unusual for me to have my first significant meal after midnight, and fairly common for that to be the first (and only) meal of the day. It's certainly different to most people, but there may be other stuff going on other than purely psych issues.

OTOH when I eat I tend to eat a lot, so you clearly have additional points to consider vs me, but I'd worry more about energy intake, especially energy intake vs energy expenditure than when precisely when you're doing the eating.

OTGH agreed that tracking an acceptable minimum intake probably isn't the way to go - can you segue that into an acceptable amount over the top of the minimum as an interim fix?

(And the citalopram reduction has to be the prime suspect at least for now)

[kaberett]

e-motions: actually magic.

If I don't eat regularly I go very wrong; if I don't eat regularly I can't take my pain meds appropriately, so in addition to low-blood-sugar wrong I get higher-pain wrong. So I'm worrying about precisely when I'm doing the thing in part because measurable effects on my function and processing, and partially because skipping meals makes me more likely to have an ED flare-up (there are approximately 3 classes of Ways I Go Wrong About Food, and one of them is anorexia).

Acceptable minimum intake'll do for now (given that minimum is 1500kcal, ideal is probably 2500kcal) but not something I can cope with in general.

Will be interesting to discuss food issues with GP tomorrow in any case, yeah.

[davidgillon]

I keep forgetting I'm the exception rather than the rule in getting by with just the butrans patch for pain management, which means not having pain control linked to food intake. So yeah, more things to worry about than I have from superficially similar eating patterns. Also I'll usually drink something most evenings, and alcohol's a lot of calories I don't always think about.

TLDR: I'm an idiot ;)