while I am trying to work up the energy to make dinner

[kaberett]

Gifts are given; offerings are made or, well, offered. The latter is availability with no expectation whatsoever; the former implicitly requires acceptance, to a greater or lesser extent. I have been playing over the past few weeks with this distinction as applied to human interaction.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

Also gift-giving etiquette. To wit, the thought that counts, and accept like you love it even if you don't or don't know yet if you do. Etc, but tablet and at work, so no dissertation now.

[kaberett]

yep: obligations all over, whereas any response to offering is startling and a grace.

[alexseanchai]

And gods give (and let me pause for a moment to glare sternly at my tablet autocorrect; hi, tablet, I am a polytheist) and take, bless and curse, and we must accept though I suppose we needn't use what gifts we are given. And in return we can only make offerings.

It's a power gradient thing. Gifts are from the more powerful to the less. The act of gift-giving makes it so. Even gift-giving among equals plays a temporary merry hell with social relations because etiquette dictates a delighted response even to a poorly thought out gift and that gives the giver control over the giftee.

Am I making any sense?

[kaberett]

yep. those things.

[birke]

And gifts have no strings attached (or shouldn't), whereas offers often do. Probably because there is an element of choice.

[kaberett]

hah, see, whereas I see them the other way around -- I'm using "offering" in the quasi-religious quasi-Catholic sense, which is very very different to the concept of a "gift" -- giving a gift to G-d just... isn't a concept that really makes sense in my familiarity with that theology? to make an offering is to recognise one's smallness, one's humility, & so on.

[birke]

And it doesn't have any sense of G-d giving you something in return? Just something you do for personal reasons, with no hopes or expectations?

[kaberett]

for me, yes -- it is to honour/acknowledge glory as is due, not one side of a bargain