[health log] Going a bit wrong

[kaberett]

First major red flag: it wasn't until Wednesday that I realised I hadn't made into work during normal hours for a week, which is in and of itself a red flag, but the fact that didn't notice for that long is also... yeah.

I ended up speaking to myself out loud on public transport earlier. Also not a good sign of my grip on performative sanity.

My sleep cycle and food patterns are completely fucked. I am kind of managing two meals a day. I'm managing shower-and-clothes by 5pm. I am managing to leave the house for WorldCon but not really for anything else. I'm more angry and less capable than usual with the existence of people I don't know well enough to have some predictive power for.

I'm going to run out of (non-psych) meds on Monday. On the upside, I'm also going to be seeing my GP again on Monday about my lungs - it was supposed to be today but apparently the phonecalls & voicemail from a withheld number yesterday were my GP surgery trying to call to cancel in spite of my file being supposed to contain a note to not leave me voicemail and preferably not phone me (though that has now been reinstated).

I think I'm more stressed about the lungs-GP than I'm quite willing to process.

I've blown through a work deadline and am completely ignoring e-mails from my supervisor (hoping to get that back under control today).

Housemate will be back next week and I will hopefully be able to get myself back into a routine. I am compliant with my medication. I am trying to stay hydrated. I am trying to make sure I spend time in front of my daylight lamps. I don't think I'll ever be okay/I just take it day by day (by day by day).

Comments

[forestofglory]

*support and tea*

[kaberett]

Thank you.

[untonuggan]

*sends good thoughts and cat love if that is your thing*

[kaberett]

Very much so - thank you.

[hunningham]

Oh sweetheart, this is things going badly. No advice, lots of sympathy. Pls keep posting and let us know how it goes. I really hope the sleep and food pattern gets righted.

[kaberett]

Still mostly in one piece! Going to go home watch Korra (with friendpeople via magic of internet) and have eaten and people have been taking care of me, it's great. We've planned how to make me vaguely competent tomorrow as well, even.

[kaberett]

Another part of what is stressing me the fuck out: somebody I Do Not Want To Be Around (for reasons insufficient to get them kicked out of the con, particularly given the social fallout I'd get as a result) is spending a lot of time sat by the only level entrance to the main fannish social area. I am Not Dealing Well.

[fyreharper]

<3

Am glad there are people around who can be helpful!

[kaberett]

Thank you <3

[ysobel]

Love and hugs.

[kaberett]

Thank you <3

[littlebutfierce]

I'm sorry things are tricky right now. ^^;;; I'm really glad we could hang out today. <3

[kaberett]

It was really great to see you -- & on top of that thank you HEAPS for looking after me, I massively appreciate that <3 I hope I will catch you some more before thing is over!

[littlebutfierce]

Ehhhh I am glad I could be helpful but I feel like I didn't do anything besides serendipitously bump into you at a good time -- I am glad that did something though! <3 & yes, perhaps we will see each other this weekend again! My schedule tomorrow is making me go ;___; b/c there's something I want to do at 11 AM & something at 10 PM & I cannot fathom spending that long there (but neither am I going to go & come back). -___-

[kaberett]

hmm. I know enough people staying on-site that we could probably find somewhere for you to crash out for a few hours in the afternoon?

[littlebutfierce]

*___* Oooooh I might take you up on that, depending on how things go (I mean I may end up not making it until afternoon again, or may end up going home earlier). Thank you for the suggestion!

Hugs and Tea

[hairyears]

Sorry we didn't met up today - will you be dining with Liv tomorrow?

Re: Hugs and Tea

[kaberett]

That's the plan! :-)

Re: Hugs and Tea

[swaldman]

May I ask what the specific plan is for that? (email to swaldman@firecloud.org.uk if not for posting).
Not sure I can make it, but if y'all will have me then the option would be nice.

[shehasathree]

my GP surgery trying to call to cancel in spite of my file being supposed to contain a note to not leave me voicemail and preferably not phone me

Bastards. *koff* This week may have contained waaay too much phone tag with doctors in a context of i would prefer no-one to call me ever, and if you do, give me actual bloody information.

[surpassingly]

<33333333333333333333333

[ex_we935]

♥ *sends loads of good thoughts*

~K.