Posted mostly for the benefit of my housemate

[kaberett]

facesfriend: Aha I was looking up whether aloe vera is actually effective as a burn treatment
facesfriend: And found a page with general "how to treat burns" advice
kaberett: it does appear to be
kaberett: ...
kaberett: would you like an aloe vera
kaberett: please say you'd like an aloe vera
kaberett: please?
kaberett: ...
kaberett: there's another three in the back garden
kaberett: that have managed to survive the winter
facesfriend: Wow. Didn't think you'd be able to conscience leaving them out to freeze...
kaberett: THE BACK GATE GOT LOCKED
facesfriend: (page includes an assortment of general points about burn treatment, general medical stuff such as you might find on NHS website or similar)
kaberett: (did you burn yourself)
facesfriend: (plus a single bullet under the various bits of treatment advice for "if the patient is still on fire")
kaberett: hahahaha "put the fire out"? :-p
facesfriend: (BECAUSE IF THE PATIENT WERE STILL ON FIRE YOU WOULD BE LOOKING FOREVER FIRST AID ADVICE ON THE INTERNET, RIGHT?)
facesfriend: No I am not burned but I was pondering adopting an aloe and wondering if they were actually effective for that or if it was just placebo
kaberett: they are actually effective
kaberett: please take an aloe
kaberett: (... were you considering adopting someone else's aloe)
kaberett: (if you're not dating them can I pull rank)
facesfriend: (baby I only have eyes for your aloe)
kaberett: (THANK GOD)

Comments

[birke]

LOL. I think if one of my housemates were on fire, I might be tempted to look up "how to put out a fire on a person." But not how to treat their burns.

Happy days for your little aloe plant! maybe you can persuade facesfriend to take all three. Very useful in summer.

[kaberett]

I have one that's two foot tall and extruding from parts of the pot it didn't ort in my room. ;_; I have already got rid of about four.

[birke]

Ack! Ours has not gotten that big in the last year. Maybe we should repot it.
<--not a good plant mommy

[darklightshades]

FFFFFFFF oh my goodness, if I lived closer, I would totally adopt one of your aloe. They are adorable and squishy-cute. (Also extremely useful to have on hand)

[kaberett]

I think customs would probably not appreciate me sending you a plant ;) HAVING SAID WHICH I need to post M a thing and am failing at e-mail -- can one of you send me your address, either DW PM or e-mail? I am kabe@rett.org.uk

[darklightshades]

Sure thing! :D I shall PM shortly. And don't worry about the failing at email. Neither she nor I have been particularly coherent this week, so we are especially forgiving of communication derping.

[redsixwing]

Ahaha aloes.

The cat broke a chunk off of our kitchen-aloe. It has survived in a dry pot for TWO WEEKS with no visible root system. It is still plump and green. I swear, I just don't even know with these plants.

I hope facesfriend takes an aloe or two off your hands, they're wonderful to have around.

[calissa]

Speaking from personal experience, aloe vera works wonders on sunburn.

[syntaxofthings]

... I seem to be the only person who can't get aloe to thrive. Tips?

[kaberett]

... do you water it? I suspect the problem is that you are watering it. Never water it. It will actually recover just fine if you don't water it until it turns purple and shrivels up.

[syntaxofthings]

*blink* Never water it. Huh. I wonder if my other plants have this issue at all. So much for this cute watering can I have.

[kaberett]

Most plants like watering more frequently than that! Succulents by-and-large don't. It's fundamentally a desert plant and doesn't believe in rain.

[syntaxofthings]

I thought I understood that but clearly not. Now I know. Please come back to life from my overwatering, aloe.

[kaberett]

You can literally leave them unwatered in a conservatory for five months over summer and they will recover. GOOD LUCK TO YOURS <333

[pipisafoat]

I tend to overwater my succulents, but infrequently enough that it seems to average out to be okay? which I guess is how deserts function anyway.

[khalinche]

I will adopt the hell out of one of your aloes. Those things are fucking magic.

[kaberett]

YES EXCELLENT THANK YOU WHEN

[khalinche]

You have mail.

[davidgillon]

This is really sort of adorable :)

[kaberett]

well I like to think we're adorable >_>;

[davidgillon]

I did debate changing it to 'adorkable' ;)

[ghoti]

an excellent descriptor :)

[kaberett]

important additional context is perhaps that I loathe and resent "baby" used in seriousness and refuse to have it applied to me ergo it is even more hyperbolic than it perhaps appears at first.

[silveradept]

Aloe are strange and curious creatures, but they work really well for their stated purpose.

[vass]

I now have "would you like an aloe vera" stuck in my head, to the tune of 'Do you wanna build a snowman?'

[jedusaur]

...and now I do too. :(

They really are excellent for burns. We had one when I was a kid for our family's constant sunburns. I should have one for all my cooking mishaps. (Not being careful enough with sizzling oil, bumping the side of the oven with my knuckles, that kind of thing. Not actual flames.)

[fyreharper]

NOOOO GET IT OUT GET IT OUT :paws at ear: (especially as I do not have a next line NO BRAIN THAT WAS NOT AN INVITATION TO MAKE UP MORE LINES)

(Would you like an aloe vera
Or maybe two or three...)

:stops trying to fit the other lines together and goes back to work:

[redsixwing]

Would you like an aloe vera?
Or maybe two or even three?
It's good for burns and cute
even if it's rather prickly!

It's a cute succulent
Living in a pot
I wish you'd take it away.

Would you like to take an aloe?
It doesn't have to be an aloe..

[kaberett]

oh my god

[fyreharper]

:D

[redbird]

I am reminded of the SunOS man page for the shutdown command, which advised using fasthalt if the processor was on fire.

I hope that anyone who needed that advice hadn't waited until they had a fire to RTFM.

Aloecution

[hairyears]

My beloved ewt keeps Aloes: useful for sunburn, general itchiness and abrasions.

[evilsusan]

Are these aloes I inflicted on you? Sorry about that!

[kaberett]

Yes, but I do actually like the things! I am super-fond of the enormous one (as you can tell from the fact that it lives in my bedroom); it's mostly that my housemate has a gentle horror of them because of her conviction that they will TAKE OVER THE HOUSE and consequently I have been gently attempting to give the others away. Similarly I've been finding it hilarious how difficult it is to do this given that Kew charges £7 a pop for them. But no, I really do like having them around :-)

[liv]

So, um, I have a really really ignorant question: what exactly do you do with aloe to fix burns? I mean, I know that in some way you apply the plant to the burn (rather than, say, eating it), but how exactly? Presumably you need to crush the leaves in some way, right? Is it enough to break off a bit of the leaf and apply the fresh cut surface to the burn? Or do you need to macerate it a bit more than that?

My mother pressed a little one on me, and I haven't killed it but it hasn't grown much since she gave it to me and it hasn't developed prickles yet. I think, like many of my poor houseplants, it may need a bigger pot.

[kaberett]

You break a leaf off (or cut it, or whatever) and squeeze the goo out of the middle of the leaf onto the burn :-)

No water and maaaaybe a bigger pot and it'll be fine. <3

[khalinche]

You can also break off the leaves and put them in a blender, then apply to the goo to your burnt bit.

[khronos_keeper]

oh man, if plant shipping were a thing, I would PAY you to send me an aloe.

I love aloes, they are so awesome. <3

[kaberett]

<3!

[forthwritten]

I would be happy to take an aloe off you if you need to rehome any!

(would you like to take an aloe? :DDDD)

[kaberett]

YES

(no)