Healthwork

[kaberett]

So far today:

• e-mailed sleep log to counsellor
  
• counselling
  
• one difficult conversation
  
• daylight lamp
  
• eaten two meals
  
• e-mailed the research group's mailing list asking people to do the thing to my samples I was unable to do today because I'm housebound
  
• e-mailed my supervisor, see previous
  
• e-mailed occupational health
  
• read & responded to (helpful!!!) e-mail that just came in from my union rep, including a reply to her e-mail from yesterday to let her know I've contacted occupational health
  
• e-mailed counsellor to set up next week's session
  
• actually taken any of my meds
  
• tracked down the way to request a slot at the walk-in clinic, tracked down opening times of walk-in slot, stuck reminder to self in diary, for sexual health screening
  
• read e-mail union rep just sent to the building managers she's being amazing ;__________;
  
• wrote first draft a letter to the DWP about how my situation's deteriorated since I made my application
  

Still to do:

• work out how to summarise the impact my health issues have on my life for the GP
  

Comments

[sorrillia]

Wait, you guys get to be unionized? How does that even work for grad students, given that faculty are all-powerful and you can't really go on strike without them just deciding to not let you graduate?

[kaberett]

I'm a member of the UCU; what exactly striking looks like is complex for me, but it tends to involve not doing any teaching I've agreed to. Most of how it works is I get legal advice and back-up, plus I get to vote on pay negotiations.

[sorrillia]

Wait, you guys get to _negotiate_ on pay? For us, administration just tells us what we get. The grad student council gives them a recommendation and then they usually ignore it because they don't like spending money.

[kaberett]

The union as a whole negotiates on behalf of all workers, usually for a flat percentage pay rise across all pay grades, but current negotiations also include introducing Not Being Shit To Disabled People and introducing the London Living Wage for all college employees.

[kaberett]

(sorry for being a bit terse - I'm fine with this conversation, but breathing hurts and I slept terribly as a result, and I'm just... really feeling defeated/despairing at the moment. lots of self-blame for being ill going on. I recognise it as jerkbrain, but.)

[syntaxofthings]

Oh how do I know self-blame for being ill. But. Wow all the things you have done even though you are ill! You are doing great and I'm just going to say being ill is not something you should blame yourself for [even though my brain does the same thing, and emotionally I don't believe that, but it has to be said]

[kaberett]

I can believe that the code I've written today is actual work. I can believe the spreadsheet I'm about to put together is actually work. But it's so hard to believe that this counts, which is why I'm documenting it, because it has eaten my entire day and it is exhausting.

I just... I hit the point yesterday afternoon where my jerkbrain tried to convince me I was psychosomatising my ~intense moral disapproval of smoking~ in order to ~coerce people into quitting~. And I just. That is such patent bullshit, and it's also painfully apparent exactly where it comes from. :-(

[highlyeccentric]

It's so much easier to be unionized when you're not in the US. In Australia I was at different times both a member of a postgrad students' union, and of the academic teacher's union (which has sliding scale semester-only rates for casual employees).

I should look into the state of unions in my current locale..

[kaberett]

self, you also need to log into ESESIS and e-mail Mark a copy of the thing, 'kay? xx

[kaberett]

Done. Well done, me. xx

[shehasathree]

\o/

[littlebutfierce]

This is an impressive list! ♥

[kaberett]

Making lists turns out to be more helpful than I can quite get my head around - it all felt big and overwhelming and then I wrote it down and it was still big and overwhelming, but at least I knew what I had to do - the second list started out much longer than the first - and now I'm working my way through the things. I apparently don't have the DLA paperwork with me for the GP (left on my desk at work???) but I will try to sort out the sexual health screening and outline the letter I need to write them, then GET ON WITH SOMETHING MORE FUN.

[littlebutfierce]

Fun is crucial on the list too, so yay!! & yeah I agree, listmaking generally makes me feel better, b/c even tho shit can feel like too much, at least there's a bunch of discrete items I can choose from.

[thefairymelusine]

That is a lot, well done.

[kaberett]

so. hard. ;_; (Thank you.)

[cosmolinguist]

I'm so admiring of all the things you've done. Especially in the state you've had to be in while you were doing them! I'm sorry your jerkbrain's getting in the way, but I'm happy to help remind you that your accomplishments are awesome until it loosens its grip on you again.

[kaberett]

thank you <333

[sylvaine]

Wow, that is an impressive list. Well done!

[kaberett]

Thank you!

[hairyears]

Quite the TaDa! list!

[kaberett]

:-)