I am sickened and scared.

Here are the results of yesterday's election for my region.

For those of you playing along from abroad:

• Labour (Lab) are a traditionally socialist party, who were ousted at the last General Election; recent prime ministers were Gordon Brown and Tony Blair.
  
• the Tories/Conservatives (Con) are the long-standing right-wing party to which Margaret Thatcher belonged; they are currently in coalition government with...
  
• the Lib(eral) Dem(ocrat)s, a traditionally left to left-of-centre party (very left-wing on social issues, slightly more central on fiscal stuff, ~party of my heaaaart~, hence my being so disappointed in them, etc).
  
• UKIP, the UK Independence Party, are theoretically a single-issue party pushing for exit from the European Union. They are also racist, heterosexist, and probably cissexist. They are vile. They are more vile about people like me than the Conservatives manage to be, which I consider frankly impressive.
  
• the BNP (British National Party) are neo-Nazi scum. UKIP is not quite as obviously virulent and unpleasant as them.

In almost every single district locally where UKIP fielded a candidate, they polled better than at least one Big Three (Lib/Lab/Con) candidate, in most cases better than Green+one Big Three, and in some cases better than two Big Three candidates combined.

My cynical gut feel says that the increase in UKIP votes is broadly a result of people who think the Tories have gone too soft, but tell themselves too many pleasant lies about their values to actually vote BNP.

"We are speaking for ordinary voters across the county who know we will go the extra mile to represent them. We have put our communities first not party politics." -- says UKIP.

Obviously, obviously I know that in my capacity as a queer trans disabled third-generation somewhat-Jewish immigrant, I'm the kind of person who gets sneered about as the preposterous stereotype of political correctness gone mad, as the benefit scrounger who doesn't deserve it. I know this, and mostly I am insulated from it, but tonight I am not.

I know that I'm still protected by my whiteness, by my class, by my accent, and by the fact that I pass (much as I hate it) as straight and cis and English-as-a-first-language.

And still I am frightened.

[3W4DW] 13. Do you have any unique interests on your user profile? What are they?

... How'd they get there?

(I'm going to be away from the Internet for much of Saturday daytime for family stuff, so let's have this now in an attempt to calm me down enough to sleep.)

Yes.

Lots.

• cavalier cookery: see question 12.
  
• flamboyant socks: in my secondary school, the only piece of clothing that might ever be visible that wasn't regulated was socks. I got into the habit. Having stripy feet makes me happy. Having rainbows up to my knees makes me happy. Having dinosaurs up to my knees makes me happy. They are a way for me to pretend to be formal, pretend to be adult and sober and sensible, and hide a little of myself away.
  
• gender geeking: because it helps me understand myself. Because it helps other people understand themselves. Because gender expression versus gender versus oppositional sexism is fascinating. Because sociology.
  
• history of theology: because it was reading about the history of the Bible that set me free, that made me realise I didn't need to feel guilty for not believing.
  
• lumps of rock: see question 12.
  
• male-coded formalwear: because, for a long time, it was the only way I knew how to express my gender, to be legibly myself. I'm learning other ways, these days, but I owe a debt of gratitude.
  
• mantle melting and plate tectonics: rocks. This is what I love most: that I can look at a single volcano, a single region, and if I've chosen it well it will inform global models. Because it's what's underneath us.
  
• other people's libraries: no faster way, I'd argue, to get to know someone; because it's a fantastic way to be introduced to new things; because being permitted to browse feels like an expression of trust, an extended hand; because I love seeing how other people organise them.
  
• proper chemistry labs: because for years I thought I'd be a chemist working in total organic synthesis, and though I love that my laboratory is the planet, I still pine, sometimes, for clean benches and fume hoods and proper pipettes and lab coats and jars of solvents and glassware and the magic that is coaxing clear colourless liquids and white crystalline powders to behave just so. On the plus side, I'll likely be working in something pretty similar again in the near future, and it won't be the same, but it won't be awful either.
  
• snail-racing: because snails are lovely, and yellow-and-brown striped ones especially so (Cornish beaches in the summer, and Mama who never had her hair unhenna'd when guests were staying, even when she was an in-patient), and because childhood.
  
• stompy queer activism: because well-behaved women rarely make history, and the same is true of queers. Because asking nicely rarely works. Because I'm allowed to make noise, to take up space. Because the more I do, the more okay I make the world for kids like me. I'm not likely to ever be a biological parent, but this: this is a thing I can do; this is a gift I can give you.
  
• stories with dragons in: see question 12.
  
• sun dials: because I love the ways we've devised to tell time and to track the skies. Because of Frank King. Because of the beauty and ingenuity of design. Because of the ways we try to tame our world, try to slice it into pieces we can manage, and how large - and how gently amused - it remains in spite of us.
  
• tenor envy: because I knew I wished I were a tenor long before I understood anything else about my gender.
  
• trilobites with eyes on stalks: trilobites are extinct marine woodlice. They lived in shallow oceans; most of them were benthic - they lived on the surface of the ocean floor. Some were infaunal: they burrowed. Most infaunal trilobites were blind. Some, however, had periscopic eyes on stalks. (Also? Trilobites' eyes have lenses made of calcite. Minerals have three optical axes; along two of them, calcite exhibits double refraction. Trilobites very carefully grew their eye-lenses so that the calcite crystals were oriented along the single optical axis that results in them not seeing double. If you don't think that shit is cool, I'm afraid we can't be friends. :-p)
  
• unopened art supplies: because colour and joy and potential are waiting.
  

heads-up

I've just created signalboost. Because, well, lots of us end up saying "here's this important petition", or "a friend is in a REALLY tough situation financially", or otherwise wanting to get word out about things - so there we go. We can't help unless we know about things, and our friends-of-friends webs are fantastic but not perfect. Have at it. ♥