Coming out (over and over again)

[kaberett]

I'm trans: specifically, genderqueer. My pronouns are "they".

I'm queer.

Please feel encouraged to ask questions, this weekend. If you're embarrassed about asking them in public, you can e-mail or PM me and I'll post the answer here.

This is important, because the more you understand the less likely you are to hurt people by fucking up. (I am, of course, assuming good faith; and I do not, of course, speak for everyone who shares identities with me; but I've read a lot and can probably point you in the right direction, and will do my best to explicitly flag up controversies where I'm aware of them.)

Comments

[kaberett]

What tim said about huge desire to assign me to one binary gender or another - my hair is waist-length and I intend to keep it that way and I don't have facial hair, so I'm not terribly likely to ever get the "is that a man or a woman?" nonense.

I am intending to write a Thing about expanding the available space for androgynies and gendered expressions. Because I am genderqueer and a bit femme around the edges and - that should be recognised, the idea that the only way I can be recognised as genderqueer is by looking like a skinny white boy with long hair is bullshit. Um. So. Yes. There needs to be more space for all of us to express our genders in the way we want, and some of how I am going to try to make that change is dressing the way I want and requesting being correctly gendered.

(As to how I do dress - trousers or shorts, t-shirt or button-down, often hoodies. Variable cufflinks. And increasingly, these days, perfume and necklace.)

[jelazakazone]

You dress adorably, by the way, from what I saw the day we met!

I think this raises and interesting point, for me, anyway. Why do we have expectations about appearances reflecting ID? I guess that's socialization for you!

While I am not trans*, I am definitely more on the butch side than femme (interestingly my identical twin is more on the femme side).

Personally, I love it when people are comfortable with themselves and express themselves the way they want.