This is what it is like.

[kaberett]

It is like every room you walk into
    is at least one size too small.

It is like every invitation you receive is a courtesy
    and the only polite response is to refuse.

It is like everyone insists on calling you by someone else's name:
    someone dead, whom perhaps you loved.

It is like being invisible, or that one inconvenient
    piece of furniture,
    forever
    shoved
    out of the way
    without a thought,
    except for faint exasperation.

It is like I am drowning
    in the scales I have torn from your eyes.

This is what it is like, or what it is like in words.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

Ugh, know that feel. Hugs?

[kaberett]

Too spiky right now, thanks, but I will remember the offer later and be glad of it.

[worlds_of_smoke]

oh. wow.

this line:

"It is like everyone insists on calling you by someone else's name:
someone dead, whom perhaps you loved."

That really snapped something into focus for me.

[kaberett]

Thank you for saying. I am - not exactly wild with grief or rage, but I am exhausted and hollow and trying to fill myself back up (maybe if I say enough, talk enough, scream loud enough, people will hear and I will never have to empty myself out this way again). So: thank you.

[ghoti]

♥

[kaberett]

You too, fish.

[cadenzamuse]

Damn. *adds to required reading list*

[pipisafoat]

+1

[kaberett]

ffffffff pip <333

[kaberett]

kla;jsdflakjsasdf <3

[surpassingly]

≪333333333333.

[kaberett]

And to you, seriously. I have your Thing open in tabs to reply to, I just - want to do it justice and I cannot find the words because you have taken them all away. ♥

This made me shiver.

[syntaxofthings]

It is like every invitation you receive is a courtesy
and the only polite response is to refuse.

And how sick to my stomach it makes me, too.

Re: This made me shiver.

[kaberett]

Yes.

This - was written in anger and despair, and I find it hard to feel emotion rather than bleakness in it now, later, but - here we are, here I am, and every word is true.

[vass]

This is wonderful.

Do you publish your poetry, apart from here? If you have a chapbook somewhere, I'd love to buy one.

[kaberett]

I don't, at the moment; I am intending to put together a chapbook containing 2013's output in January, though, for what it's worth! And thank you so, so much for the vote of support ♥