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kaberettAll of them! To quote myself, languishing in a drafts folder elsewhere:
kaberett is not my wallet name - the name in my passport, on my Prescription Pre-payment Certificate, on my various institutional ID cards - but it is no less real for that. I am the only person using "kaberett" as a name; search the Internet and you'll get me, and a bunch of German-speakers using non-standard spellings.
My wallet name isn't the name under which I perform; it's not the name under which I write; it's not the name under which I have formed countless close friendships; it's not the name under which I provide sex education and health advice; but: it is no less real for that. There are two other people with my wallet name living in my area (one has a private pilot's licence; one spends a lot of time on student theatre), and I have at least one relative who (superficially) shares it.
Both names are real. Both names are equally real.
Both names are chosen.
Neither is the name I was given at birth.
I chose "kaberett" before I had settled on "Alex"; I decided on "Alex" because "kaberett" felt right.
Both names are patchwork: of who I am; of who I was; of who I hope to be. They started out too large: I echoed inside them and looked over my shoulder, unable to tell who was calling me. And then: I grew into my names, settled them on my shoulders like a coat, and I got out my scissors and my needles and my thread and I took them in where they were still too large; added in another stripe - another layer of nuance - where they constricted.
And I have worked for these names - for these identities - and they are consistent, solid, whole. I refuse to do either of them a disservice by relegating them to the status of "pseudonym" or "fake"; I refuse to countenance the question "Ah, but what is your real name?" - as if I could, should, have only one; as if my name should not be context-dependent; as if the name chosen for me by people who didn't yet know me is more real than my names.
We are fond of these distinctions, though: between "real life" and "online", as though they can be meaningfully separated; as though through the mediation of technology our actions become fantasy, our selves fantastical. Yes, online we can fly - but the communities we build are no less valid for that.
So then, predictably: we go the other way: with "meatspace", for example, a graphic and unpleasant image. And, yes, for some of us - and I do here include myself - our bodies make unpleasant roommates; and yet - the mind is not purer than the flesh. Embodiment neither corrupts nor tempts me.
And so, in the end, to neutrality: my real name is what I say it is. My real life is what I say it is.
I am here, and I am real - and so are you. So are we all.
kaberett is not my wallet name - the name in my passport, on my Prescription Pre-payment Certificate, on my various institutional ID cards - but it is no less real for that. I am the only person using "kaberett" as a name; search the Internet and you'll get me, and a bunch of German-speakers using non-standard spellings.
My wallet name isn't the name under which I perform; it's not the name under which I write; it's not the name under which I have formed countless close friendships; it's not the name under which I provide sex education and health advice; but: it is no less real for that. There are two other people with my wallet name living in my area (one has a private pilot's licence; one spends a lot of time on student theatre), and I have at least one relative who (superficially) shares it.
Both names are real. Both names are equally real.
Both names are chosen.
Neither is the name I was given at birth.
I chose "kaberett" before I had settled on "Alex"; I decided on "Alex" because "kaberett" felt right.
Both names are patchwork: of who I am; of who I was; of who I hope to be. They started out too large: I echoed inside them and looked over my shoulder, unable to tell who was calling me. And then: I grew into my names, settled them on my shoulders like a coat, and I got out my scissors and my needles and my thread and I took them in where they were still too large; added in another stripe - another layer of nuance - where they constricted.
And I have worked for these names - for these identities - and they are consistent, solid, whole. I refuse to do either of them a disservice by relegating them to the status of "pseudonym" or "fake"; I refuse to countenance the question "Ah, but what is your real name?" - as if I could, should, have only one; as if my name should not be context-dependent; as if the name chosen for me by people who didn't yet know me is more real than my names.
We are fond of these distinctions, though: between "real life" and "online", as though they can be meaningfully separated; as though through the mediation of technology our actions become fantasy, our selves fantastical. Yes, online we can fly - but the communities we build are no less valid for that.
So then, predictably: we go the other way: with "meatspace", for example, a graphic and unpleasant image. And, yes, for some of us - and I do here include myself - our bodies make unpleasant roommates; and yet - the mind is not purer than the flesh. Embodiment neither corrupts nor tempts me.
And so, in the end, to neutrality: my real name is what I say it is. My real life is what I say it is.
I am here, and I am real - and so are you. So are we all.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 09:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 11:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 11:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 11:53 am (UTC)(which isn't to say that i don't draw lines. but it's about how it feels, not where it exists. i have a friend with whom i interact only offline (and facebook) but he is definitely absolutely an "online friend" because of who he is and how our interactions work. it's the context of "online friends know the actual real me, minus piddly details for paranoia reasons. offline friends know the piddly details but very rarely the real me, because most of them are just Not Equipped for anything other than willful forgetfulness." but also i'm not ungenuine with them; i just don't ... push the real-me details.)
also srsly meatspace, i use it sometimes because it makes me laugh, but in actuality i use offline as the "opposite" of online.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 01:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 04:03 pm (UTC)There are too many people who think that knowing wallet name is a magic formula that entitles them to (think they can) cage one.
Also, I'm going to subscribe to you, since I seem to be running into you here all the time. ;-)
(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 04:22 pm (UTC)(I like DW! It is great! And so are people! etc :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 04:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-08 07:07 pm (UTC)