vital functions

[kaberett]

Reading. More Black and British, David Olusoga; am going to skim the next chapter of Mindfulness (Mark Williams & Danny Penman) before bed.

Watching. In a brief break from migraine, we watched BBC Life: Fish. Liveblog under the cut!

... oh no it has a nose
Sailfish Are The Fastest Of Them All
- separate prey from shoal by BATTING THEM WITH THEIR RIDICULOUS NOSES
- most fish are More Dinner than sailfish
- flying fish as an example of the Weird Shit fish do while attempting to survive the open ocean
-- flying fish have to Protect Their Young... A Palm Frond!!!
-- excellent fish sex sound effects. wonderful oboe & cor
-- THEN. THE LEAF. SINKS. because the depths! are safer!
-- fish GET STUCK IN THE LEAFS. :|

Some Fish Protect Their Young
- SAustralia shallows
- But None Compare With tHe Beauty Of The Weedy Sea Dragon
-- weird fuckoff kangaroo seahorse
-- important Dance With Each Other foreplay. optimally conducted in the Evenings.
-- their tiny frantically flapping fins are SO TERRIBLE
-- ... sound effects human. t h a n k
-- okay those are pretty stripes and polka dots
-- ... DRAWING A VEIL OF TASTEFULLY SWAYING SEAWEED OVER THE ACT
-- ..................... the male is carrying an ENORMOUS BRIGHT PINK PILE OF EGGS NEATLY ARRAYED "EMBEDDED INTO HIS TAIL"??? LITTLE TINY BABS VISIBLE IN THE EGS???
-- so he looks after these for two months and then the babs start sticking their tails out???
-- oh not he babby promptly sinks because it is Too Smol
-- and lurks in the weed beds to monch

There Are Fish Who Provide Their Young With Safe Refuge For Much Longer
- south pacific
- convict fish "it's something of a marine architect": "underground, it has created a labyrinth of tunnels; this adult never ventures out of its burrow. what it eats is a mystery."
-- ... At Another Entrance *juveniles poke their faces out*
-- covered? stripes????
-- SO MANY
-- ... THOUSANDS
-- "AND THEY ALL HELP WITH THE CHORES"
-- THEY SPLOOT SAND OUT OF THEIR LITTLE MOUTHSES FROM? THE DIGGING?
-- okay they do also swarm together 2for thousands of miles, gulping plankton"
-- "what the adults eat must somehow involve these youngsters" because they then go home???
-- "whether the young feed their parents by regurgitating food or By Some Other Mechanism"-- THEY'RE DINNER, BRONT

aha we are back to the kelp beds and the general californian shallows
- ..................................... "sarcastic fringehead" [b-doing, says sound effects human] emerges from Shell. "These fish are Exceptionally Quarrelsome. They Have To Be, to Defend Their Living Space"
- optopus wants to move in but has Wandered Into The Fringehead's Territory
- WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK THEY HAVE RIDICULOUS FuCKING MOUTHS. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK????

oh no oh NO we are onto the MUDSKIPPERS
- spend most oife out of sea
- walks on land! breathes air! swallows its eyes????
- hang out in Japan
- Wants To Eat Everything that lives in the mudflats
- ... It's Hard Work To Find A Mate
-- ... SPROING
-- sound effects human. Continues.
- they have to keep rolling themselves around
- OH NO A SMALLER SPECIES GET A WHOLE ADDITIONAL MUSICAL THEME
-- "a better option is to retreat underground"
-- what good iridescent eyes
-- ... spits out Lots Of Mud from the Borrow that is being Burrowed
-- "with the tide flooding the tunnel twice a day, maintenance is a real buden"
-- SPLOT SPLOT SPLOT
-- ... U-shaped tunnel. sealed chamber. full of eggs. which are kept in air. because it's richer in oxygen. but the male has to keep going back tot he entrance of the tunnel and. release. the fresh oxygen. into the egg chamber.

Fresh-water fish on Hawai'i!
- ... most of the poolsdo not contain fish because. waterfalls. ... no okay obviously One Fish comes from the ocean to swim up a waterfall
- ................ nope it's a tiny goby and it's a rock climber
- with pelvic fins fused into a disc that acts like a sucker
- provided it has a film of water to climb through it can just. UP. FOUND AN UP.
- ....... once they're up they stay there but the smols are TOO SMALL and get washed away???

Fresh Water Presents Particular Challenges For Fish
- nutrients can be in short supply in spring water
- off we go to Kenya and specifically some hills
- barbel
- share waters with Himpo. who are vegetarians! and...
-- ... the hipplomps resting in the water during the day. having grazed all night. so the. the fish. tail. the hippos. to monch the poo. which is why the water stays. crystal clear.
-- feesh also. clean. hippos. ... groom. ... monch. ... hippo spa.
-- "cleaning the hippos' skin was just the hors d'ouevre. now it's time for the main course!" ... THEY ARE DENTISTS ALSO

There Is Cleaning To Be Done In The Sea As Well
- wrasses dedicated to removing parasites from other reef fish! including. predatory jacks. that. that seems like a dangerous life choice my friend???
- nope the jacks want to keep getting their spa service! okay! NO EATING THE CLEANERS
-- ... and then we get the silvertip sharks who want to eat everything else
-- smaller fish nope off into the reef. but this doesn't do the jacks much good? ... EXCEPT
-- THEY. SANDPAPER THEMSELVES. ON THE SHARKS. WHICH ARE SMOOTH. BUT.
-- ... the sharks are NOT nail files, thank you, and fuck off back to the open ocean
- ........... oh no we're moving on to the clownfish
-- okay so yes they live in sea anemones, as we know, being immune to the anemone's venom, so that's where they lay eggs
--- ... oh no they monch a surface to Prepare It For Ebbs
-- oh okay no we're not being told the Horrifying Clownfish Thing?
-- male cares obsessively for eggs because he's auditioning to be allowed to stick around in the anemone
-- GENTLY SQUEESH EGGS WITH FACE to keep them clean!!!
-- HEARTS BECOME VISIBLE
- okay but now we get shoals of... who are you a shoal of? oh we do not get told who that particular brilliant stripy shoaly fish is.
- off we go to the anchovies. (BIG SOUND EFFECTS BALLET ENERGY)
-- oh no the sea lions get Confused and fuck off elsewhere
-- But There Are Fish That Can OVercome Such Strategies

ragged-tooth shark Escort a shoal of sardines, driven into shallows by Cold Open Current
- ... *hundreds* of sharks have shown up
- because all these fish in the shallows means you just... open your mouth and swim around

Fish Don't Only Shoal For Defence
- they also do it for sex! try to look shocked
- "these events only occur for a few days each year"
- Snapper, which are normally solitary, gather off the coast of Belize -- cubera, dog & mutton snapper
- yep that's a fish orgy (they continue to prefer full moons and good tides)
- aaaaaaaaaaaand off we go to the Whale Sharks, The Largest Fish On Earth, which are why The OPen Ocean is dangerous
-- oh HEY you are SUPER PRETTY
-- weigh up to 10 tonnes but eat tiny things incl snapper eggs!

ON LOCATION: "Fish Out Of Water"
- filming obviously complicated by needing to breathe
- filming took place over 3 years
- water off the Yucatan peninsula in Mexico -- back to the sailfish
- fish can swim at up to 60 mph, so you have to get into the water before the bait ball is entirely finished & then actually keep up with them!
- also gotta not get stabbed
- 2000 miles away on the other side of the Caribbean... trying to film flying fish
-- waiting for the fish to come to them
-- ... by tying on to a floating palm frond
-- ... oh n o the fish are also laying their eggs on the cameraman
-- ... AND THEN ONTO THE BOAT
-- FIVE HOURS FROM NOW THERE WILL BE 3000 LB OF FISH EGGS if they stay put so uh yes they Retreat so as Not To Have The Boat Sunk
-- ... so they went out in a wee boat
-- ... and All The Fish Go Donk

Playing. More Epistory replay. Still sorting out thoughts!

Cooking. Um. Another batch of amaretti, with insufficient egg white because I wasn't paying attention when I weighed everything else out, but hey, I have Sweet Biccit. A round of pastitsio, to use up some bits from the cupboard. And I roasted A Seasonal Squash and half a bulb of fennel with the intention of making a variant on the caramelised onion & butternut squash tart for dinner tonight & the first half of this week, but then my migraine returned instead.

Growing. MANY TOMATE. Passiflora edulis possibly dying; perhaps overwatering? gonna try not watering and see if it recovers. Established chilli happy. Had to bring the yacon inside because something NIBBLED the SPROUTS. Fig definitely unfurling.

Comments

[rugessnome]

Might I ask after your pastitsio recipe? (is it written up anywhere/where's it from? I don't have a vegetarian pastitsio recipe.)

...cue sudden irreverent thought about mashing up the Cincinnati chili [3/4/5]-way and pastitsio.

[lunabee34]

I wish everybody liked fennel as much as I do. Such yum.