transferable... something, anyway
Aug. 20th, 2021 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kaberettAs I have previously mentioned, and as the joke goes, There Are Two Kinds Of Autistics...
... and in this specific instance, I'm "leave things out on the side until it's empty enough that I can work up the executive function to put them away neatly" to A's "shove everything into the cupboard until it becomes completely untenable and then haul it all out to reorganise", where the more chaotic the cupboard is the less able I am to put things away and the more things are out on the side the more desperately he'll shove them into cupboards anywhere they fit.
Negotiating this incompatibility is... a work in progress. :-p
But! We recently had another go-round with "how is it possible to distinguish between things I've left out because I have a specific near-future purpose in mind for them, versus those I've left out because Nope?" and I abruptly realised that a trivial and straightforward solution that I can implement with precisely 0 problem is "have a dedicated pad of kitchen post-its, plus a dedicated kitchen pen, preferably attached to the fridge".
Because! You see! It is absolutely ingrained that one of the last things you do on your way out of lab is you look around and you see what you've left out in communal areas (as opposed to your dedicated storage space) and you label the shit out of it...
... usually using a post-it.
Thus we have a system that costs me approximately nothing and makes Adam's life much more pleasant, and I am gently amused at transferable skills producing easy wins.
... and in this specific instance, I'm "leave things out on the side until it's empty enough that I can work up the executive function to put them away neatly" to A's "shove everything into the cupboard until it becomes completely untenable and then haul it all out to reorganise", where the more chaotic the cupboard is the less able I am to put things away and the more things are out on the side the more desperately he'll shove them into cupboards anywhere they fit.
Negotiating this incompatibility is... a work in progress. :-p
But! We recently had another go-round with "how is it possible to distinguish between things I've left out because I have a specific near-future purpose in mind for them, versus those I've left out because Nope?" and I abruptly realised that a trivial and straightforward solution that I can implement with precisely 0 problem is "have a dedicated pad of kitchen post-its, plus a dedicated kitchen pen, preferably attached to the fridge".
Because! You see! It is absolutely ingrained that one of the last things you do on your way out of lab is you look around and you see what you've left out in communal areas (as opposed to your dedicated storage space) and you label the shit out of it...
... usually using a post-it.
Thus we have a system that costs me approximately nothing and makes Adam's life much more pleasant, and I am gently amused at transferable skills producing easy wins.
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Date: 2021-08-20 11:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-20 11:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-21 04:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-21 06:19 am (UTC)Love it!
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Date: 2021-08-21 08:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-21 09:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-21 12:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-21 04:14 pm (UTC)Most excellent!
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Date: 2021-08-21 05:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-21 06:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-23 05:14 pm (UTC)I do the same but with blue painter's tape (the really cheap stuff that doesn't stick for long).
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Date: 2021-08-23 08:45 pm (UTC)I must be the 4rd kind of autistic, the one that insists everything must have a put-away location that is well-defined and easy enough to access that putting away takes very little executive function, on average less than finding a place to leave things out that won't immediately irritate me. Then once the put-away location has been identified, I compulsively have to have thing Properly Put Away in its designated location or order; neither putting them to the side, your way, nor putting them 'away' in the wrong place/manner so at least they're not out in public, A's way, neither will work.
This is a source of frequent lowkey conflict with my ADD spouse, who is very much a "put things in the general vicinity of where they're meant to go or where you use them, but in a heap or scatter rather than an order or specific location" kind of person. Not even a "it has to be spread out/not enclosed, so I can see it at a glance or I'll forget it exists" person, which I could understand, or a "must be maximum 2 action steps or decision points or it is too much executive function and I can't" person, which also I could understand (happens to me). Like, she's got an open crate with hanging file folders in, to file hardcopy bills and records, and instead of dropping the papers into a folder she piles the papers on top so you can't see or access any of the folders or most of the pile. Or she has open shelves for storing hobby supplies so she can see them and remove/replace them easily but instead of putting thing on the shelf, she puts it on the floor, table, chair, or desk in front of the shelf, or in the way of another thing in a different place on the shelf. Same with food in the fridge or pantry. Despite we use labels like "things to eat and where to find them" and "craft projects in this box and their priorities/stages of completion" and so on.
Does anyone reading here have the same kind of brain as my spouse and can explain it in a way that makes sense to my more pattern-obsessive brain, so perhaps I can find a solution that works as neatly for us?