(no subject)

[kaberett]

In which we determine that caramelised red onions consitute barrier protection:

kaberett: oh come on, it was totally a cheese toastie
noldo: NOPE WAS NOT
kaberett: it was a cheese. fucking. toastie.
noldo: EW that is gross and anyway OBVIOUSLY I would give them some privacy. I could NEVER COME BETWEEN THEIR PERFECT LOVE.
kaberett: ... the caramelised red onions did, though.

(Awesome Housemate C.: ... you do realise, don't you, that putting this on the Internet would be really. irresponsible.
n: ALL THE MORE REASON TO DO SO.)

---

On capturing our inner elephant:

kaberett: ... but my inner elephant roams wild and free across the savannahs of my heart
noldo: no, elephants like like jungles and shit

Comments

[noldo]

all I am sayin' is that if you walked in on your cheese and your toast fucking you'd go away and give them some space too

speciesist

[kaberett]

no

no I refuse to get into an argument about what would even constitute consummation in this context

I am JUST SAYING that it would be EVEN MORE DUBIOUS than the UK's legal attitude to lesbian sex (c.f. consummation & civil partnerships)

[noldo]

what would even constitute consummation in this context

melting

[kaberett]

... but they did that

and your response was to put them in your mouth

[noldo]

yes well needs must when the devil drives

[kaberett]

...........................

[noldo]

I think how you interpret that one is if you don't finish doing a thing then the Devil will show up and run you over in his fancy car and then you will be SORRY

[pipisafoat]

but that's cheese/oven more than cheese/toast, isn't it? or is the oven just a sexy setting for this sexy sexy melting?

ps walking in on food!sex & putting the participants in your mouth: really entertaining me
thank you both for improving my night

[noldo]

in the warm radiance of the oven, the cheese melts passionately into the toast's loving embrace

[kaberett]

we'll be here all week

[sorrillia]

The UK requires consumation for civil partnerships to be valid? (I know traditionally it's a requirement for marriages to be, but I kind of assumed that was the sort of law that hadn't been enforced since no-fault divorce becamse a thing...or does the UK not have that either?)

[kaberett]

The UK doesn't have no-fault divorce. Consummation is not a requirement of civil partnerships, essentially because the people drafting the bill couldn't face the idea of legally defining consummation between two people with cunts, as far as I can tell.

[sorrillia]

Ah.

This brings up the interesting legal question of whether a heteroromantic asexual couple could get a civil union?

[kaberett]

No, because civil partnerships aren't available to different-sex couples (and current marriage reform proposals don't include making that the case either).

[hairyears]

Indian elephants live in jungles and shit.

African elephants live on tbe open savanna and shit.

noldo lacks basic biology and should be taken to tusk.

Also... Is a four cheeses pizza technically an orgy? Logically, the toppings constitute sodomy, bychurch law, as sex outside the species.