articulation of autism

[kaberett]

Content note: discusses food & eating.

I've talked before about how A & I are in many respects Complementary Autistics: he gets overwhelmed by working out which pans to cook in and I get overwhelmed by working out how to get pans out of cupboards, and so on and so forth.

Sometimes this turns into teasing about being The Wrong Kind Of Autistic. I am the kind of autistic who wants silence; Adam is the kind of autistic who wants background noise. Adam is the kind of autistic who Prefers that Foods Not Touch; I am the kind of autistic who wants some of all the foods in each mouthful.

Yesterday, after I flapped a bunch about What Even Is Food, we (... A, while I sat on the sofa) ended up hauling a pot of tagine out of the freezer and making that be dinner. Yes good, I said partway through, this is doing all the things I wanted from misery pizza[1] only it's Nicer.

"............. you WHAT," said A, approx.

It transpires that: A is predominantly texture-driven, and I'm predominantly flavour-motivated. (It's not that I don't get texture cravings -- I absolutely do -- but even then, items to satisfy said cravings have to be The Correct Flavour.) Tagine and couscous, from A's perspective, is an entirely different textural experience to misery pizza -- whereas as far as I'm concerned, it's Flavours Tomato Sauce With Vegetables (And Cheese) on Carbohydrate, and can therefore occupy the same niche.

I hypothesise that this explains the food-order thing: I tend to prepare meals with complementary flavours, so I want Some Of All The Flavours, and as a secondary consideration I include texture contrast. A, as a primary consideration (we think), wants Separate Textural Experiences.

All of a sudden I feel like I understand him much better. <3

[1] i.e. pizza that you make the internet (via the medium of actual humans) bring you when you are Miserable because it is Stodge and Fat and Salt

Comments

[niqaeli]

It's not that I don't get texture cravings -- I absolutely do -- but even then, items to satisfy said cravings have to be The Correct Texture.

I suspect perhaps you meant they have to be The Correct Flavour, here?

[kaberett]

You are correct and I have fixed it. :)

[ewt]

Oh! Coucous or rice for me would be *completely* different to pizza, even with identical toppings, but pasta might be an acceptable substitute with sufficient quantities of cheese.

[judiff]

That is like interesting to think about.
I really wouldn't count cous cous and pizza as being like equivalent (I am prolly more into texture than the other people I eat with) but like if there was melty cheese on it it would be like a reasonable next-best-thing...

[rmc28]

This was revelatory because I've learned I lean more towards texture over flavour as being important than I had thought.

And I'm also amused because my children split along "silence vs noise" and "specific foods vs All The Foods" but in *different combination* to you and A (here, the one who wants noise also wants All The Foods).

[sfred]

<3

[indywind]

This is fascinating. Though what I've got stuck on is the idea of Misery Pizza, which for some reason suddenly suggests a spectrum of Emotion-specific Foods, beyond the general "comfort foods." Because I'm fairly sure I have them, but alexithymia makes it hard to pin down what is GrilledMeatonGreenSalad feeling, for example.

I (autistic-ish) and spouse (ADHDish) both have some particularities about flavor and texture of foods, and background noise ("white" or with communication content like music or podcast or tv) or visual or other sensory inputs. But unfortunately ours don't fall out neatly in discrete categories like yours & A's.

[silveradept]

Understanding! From a situation that was, at the time, not Fraught (too much). Another one of those reminders of having to say aloud things that might have otherwise been assumed to be shared outlooks.

[haplocke]

i love everything about this thank you yes

[booksarelife]

This is fascinating!!