social skills

[kaberett]

I love the non-compliance is a social skill design so much that I have two of it -- one t-shirt, one hoodie -- and it's in part because it keeps tripping me up.

Pretty much every single time I think about it I have the mental stumble over the euphemism of "social skills", the ways in which I lack social skills by having boundaries and advocating for myself and trying to honour my discomfort and to speak up--

-- and that jolt, that small shock, when I make myself remember that saying "no" to someone else is an inherently social act, that being able to say no instead of collapsing into obedience is a skill -- the reminder that being disagreeable doesn't, actually, come naturally, and is, actually, something to work at and practise --

-- well, it is worth a lot to me.

Comments

[sebastienne]

Yes, this.

[redsixwing]

Oh that is really good.

[cosmolinguist]

I've always loved that so much, I'd love one of those shirts.

[conuly]

Hear, hear.

[worlds_of_smoke]

♥

[glass_icarus]

♥

[horselizard]

<3 <3 <3

[vass]

Yes. Showing someone where your boundaries are is so civil we couldn't have a society without it. <3

[silveradept]

There are a lot of good reasons to be able to say no. And for others to take that no properly, which seems to be one of the harder social skills.

[booksarelife]

That’s a great design

[sleeplesspotato]

This one hits home so hard. Realizing that I could not only identify an emotion or a boundary, but also articulate it and ask for it to be respected -- and bearing the discomfort of wondering if it's wrong to speak up about it, is it expected, or is it rude -- was a major thing when it first happened, yet I still need reminding from time to time.