Tedious irregular reminder

[kaberett]

Please filter me out of any posts about intentional weight loss.

I recognise that I'm open about a lot of the things I find difficult, and as such it's fairly easy to overlook the ones I talk about less, so here's your reminder.

If this isn't something you're willing to do, please let me know and I'll take appropriate steps to look after myself.

Comments

[kaberett]

To be clear, I am not completely across-the-board unwilling to be around any discussions of weight loss ever, but unless your context is approximately "I'm seeking fertility treatment and the bullshit gatekeeping criteria mean I can't access it unless I lose weight, this is such a pile of shit and I resent the hell out of it" or similar I almost certainly don't want to be exposed.

(I'm generally much more okay with discussions of dysphoria/dysmorphia that are clearly flagged as such, but please do check with me if you're after further clarification.)

[recessional]

This is a hypothetical rather than practical clarification but as we know bob I like to calibrate: where would things such as "I am a climber and would like to drop straight-up weight in order to make climbing easier" or "I do a weight-category sport and am/need to/etc drop weight for this" fall?

(Also if at any point I have a post/discussion/whatever that I've missed why it would apply, if you feel comfortable it would be helpful to tag me about that one specifically - just a "this is the kind of post I need not to see, even with cut tag!" is great, no justification or apology required, and is an actively helpful rather than intrusive communication if it is something that can be done.)

[kaberett]

<3 Thank for the explicit invitation, and I absolutely will (& for making shit explicit for your comfort, would have done anyway -- I tend to make these general-reminder posts in parallel with saying to a specific individual "I need to not see this, are you willing to filter me out or do I need to unsubscribe from you in this venue?"). Nothing you've posted has made my brain go sideways. <3

"Here is a clearly-stated practical purpose, I'm aware of the problems with the entire model/concept" is Less of a problem for me than just "weight loss yay". I cope slightly better with "for weight-category sport" as well, because a lot a lot of that is super focussed on losing a bunch of weight for the time in takes to weigh in (which can be as simple as "don't drink anything for 12 hours", which nobody is suggesting is a good or sustainable idea in general).

[niqaeli]

*gestures vaguely at M's last paragraph* That, basically? That is also true for me. (Sorry, I'm sick, I'm not doing great at generating original thought.)

[kaberett]

Noted <3

CONTENT NOTE: OUTLINE OF MY FOOD ISSUES

[kaberett]

tl;dr history of disordered eating + hypothyroidism + internalised ableism + actually going to the gym regularly for joint crap + being bad at food in general and my primary carer being away --> hahahaha i'm fine this is fine, basically

[meneltarma]

Wanting to respect your boundaries, I'd like a clarification: it's dysphoria for me, and I do try to warn for it: unwanted weight loss. Are you okay if there's a warning and a cut on the post or do you need to be filtered away as per discussion below about wanting to click on TWs? (It's a health issue I've been having because of my medical diet, I know I've written about it at least once, I update so infrequently I cannot say with 100% certainty I've cut tagged every time but I know enough people with EDs whenever I talk about weight I try to cut and TW and Not Use Numbers.)

[kaberett]

The discussion you've been sharing is fine for me to be around. <3

(The Actual Thing is something like "I really need to not be around normalisation and uncritical praise of disordered-eating behaviours like they're a laudable thing", not "all discussion of food and complicated diet is bad", it's just... hard to summarise that for the people I'm trying to address in a way that people don't get incredibly defensive about, & without getting dragged into conversations I really need to Not Have.)

[meneltarma]

I know exactly the conversation and the people to whom the conversation must be oriented and, Yes, That. TY for clarifying, I'm sorry you are being exposed to things that are negative for you & hope this post means you will see it much less (preferably zero of it).

[mdlbear]

Oh. Good to have that clarified. I don't think you'll be in any danger from me then -- there's family history that makes me pretty sensitive around that kind of thing, as well as other forms of self-harm.

I do occasionally link to things about harm prevention; hopefully that's not problematic for you.

[kaberett]

Nope, that's fine - thanks for checking! It's just a frustration to me that if I make the plain statement up front it won't communicate to the people I need to address, and I haven't worked out a better option yet.

[ninetydegrees]

My apologies if I've made posts about this without trigger warnings. I'm pretty sure I have actually so my sincere apologies period. I won't forget about it again.

[kaberett]

<3

[wildeabandon]

Just for clarification, is behind a cut tag with a content note sufficient, or do you need to be completely unable to see it?

[kaberett]

I prefer to be completely unable to see it; this is a topic where I often struggle with compulsivity around Needing To Know What's Being Said In Case It's A Tiger, if I can see it at all, and it's much easier for me to not have to spend the energy fighting myself over it.

[wildeabandon]

Okay. In that case you might want to unfollow me. It's not something I anticipate discussing in any depth because it's really not very interesting, but I don't think I can guarantee no references on public posts.

[kaberett]

Thanks for letting me know!

[lunabee34]

I think this is probably true of me too. I don't often post about it, and I always cut tag for it,but I can't guarantee I won't talk about it in a public post.

[kaberett]

Thanks for letting me know!

[sporky_rat]

I do occasionally mention unintentional, more along the lines of 'wtf meds, why are you weird, right, time to adjust you again and find more trou at the thrift store, ugh', but that's usually pretty clearly stated on a cut.

Things that involve anything like that have a specific tag and I think tag blocking is a thing, but I am not quite sure right now?
(Ear infection, massive antibiotics, wee.)

[kaberett]

Grumbling about unintentional isn't a problem for me.

Tag-filtering relies on having a paid account so I'd prefer not to set up a situation where if I run out of paid account I end up getting nasty surprises.

For what it's worth, though, I don't think I've had problems with anything you've posted that I've been able to see.

[sporky_rat]

Yeah, it's all pretty much unintentional.

When I get back to lifting weights, then I'll be discussing that, but that's a totally different type of weight to be losing and gaining. ;)

[khronos_keeper]

Would you mind clarifying for me? Sometimes I'll mention weight loss as a side effect of a medical condition, but not in depth, just a kind of "its doing the thing again". Would this bother you?

[kaberett]

That's not a problem for me; thank you for checking. <3