Thank you. <3 In particular it is a relief and a comfort that my sharing of difficulties is a cause for admiration not disgust or condescension; I want very dearly for it to be easier for people to make mistakes and correct and ask for help with same, without feeling like the world is ending.
(Counselling logs are, amusingly, Difficult at the moment; I'm wondering how much of the resistance to writing them up is the I-want-a-spotter thing, and how much of it is actually a useful self-protective development. Something like: there's a significant chunk of me that considers it hideously self-indulgent to spend so much time and money on myself, which is assuaged by writing things up in a way that is helpful for others -- and as of late there's another part of me that is resisting that framing, is trying to convince the rest of me that I'm allowed to do this because it's good for me and only because, rather than because I am doing it In Service Of Others. I'm glad to be doing it, and I'm delighted it helps, but it feels like things are going to shift around a little, possibly via a period of keeping the process notes mostly to myself and just writing up the conclusions, per my reflections the other day on the good-people-want-what-I-want fallacy-space...)
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regna
Re: kaberett (they)
Date: 2018-08-25 09:22 pm (UTC)(Counselling logs are, amusingly, Difficult at the moment; I'm wondering how much of the resistance to writing them up is the I-want-a-spotter thing, and how much of it is actually a useful self-protective development. Something like: there's a significant chunk of me that considers it hideously self-indulgent to spend so much time and money on myself, which is assuaged by writing things up in a way that is helpful for others -- and as of late there's another part of me that is resisting that framing, is trying to convince the rest of me that I'm allowed to do this because it's good for me and only because, rather than because I am doing it In Service Of Others. I'm glad to be doing it, and I'm delighted it helps, but it feels like things are going to shift around a little, possibly via a period of keeping the process notes mostly to myself and just writing up the conclusions, per my reflections the other day on the good-people-want-what-I-want fallacy-space...)