[food] CUSTARD.

[kaberett]

RIGHT. Pursuant to previous, I have achieved CUSTARD to my satisfaction, for the purposes of meeting the goal "acquire this culinary skill before next birthday", which means I am going to have to decide what the next one will be.

300ml extra thick double cream
~100ml whole milk (or just use an appropriate volume of standard double cream, but extra thick was what was reduced in the supermarket!)
4 egg yolks (these were mixed weight)
~50g sugar (caster or icing; reduce to taste; vanilla!)
(I used vanilla essence because experimental; obviously one can use pods and do it properly)

Set dairy warming to just below boiling (small bubbles starting to form around edges). While that's happening, beat egg yolks and sugar (in a heat-proof bowl that fits on top of a small saucepan). Pour the dairy slowly into the egg, beating all the while, then set the bowl on top of a saucepan with a small amount of gently simmering water in it and heat gently, stirring constantly, for 10-20 minutes.

Congratulations, it is a custard.

To crème brûlée it, spoon some of it into ramekins and set them in a baine marie in an oven at ~150degC for about an hour: at the end of the cooking period they should just barely wobble when shaken. (This is an easy way out. You can theoretically get the thing to thicken enough on the stove, but I bottled out. Advice from people who have done this part successfully is welcome.) These can now have cling film put over the top until such a time as you're ready to brûlée them, which we have not been yet but maybe tonight.

Comments

[emperor]

When making creme brulee, I always set the custard in a baine marie; it's by far the least-stress approach IMAO.

[kaberett]

Sure, but where's the joy in pointless one-upmanship contests against, er, yourself, unless you master the trickiest option going? ;) (I do not intend to keep making all my custard from scratch! For most purposes I think Birds is fine. But I'd quite like to be able to do the thing in principle.)

[ironed_orchid]

Hurrah!

I love custard, but it is one of those things that I have to be in the mood and properly focused to make well.

[birke]

How do you keep the dairy from burning+sticking while it warms?

[kaberett]

Thick-bottomed pan (I have a bunch of Le Creuset and so does A, and that's what I use for this step) over low heat, with very occasional stirring. There's also the option of warming it in a double boiler, or doing it in the microwave, but you don't actually want it to go over the boiling point (I don't... think) which is the point at which milk solids tend to crash out and give you a sticky layer, so it's partly avoidable that way too? But yeah, the answer is "low-to-medium heat and a heavy-bottomed pan": thin ones are much more prone to burning in general. (If you don't have access to that manner of pan, stirring it more is also an option, but does involve More Stirring; the reason this style of pan works is that it gives you very even, consistent heat distribution.)

[birke]

Ahhhh. LOL, this is one of those moments where I'm reminded that my cheap cookware is in fact an impediment to quality cookery. Thank you.

[kaberett]

Yeah all our enamelled steel is second-hand via the magic of ebay/charity shops/estate sales so it's not actually... completely horrifying? (His mum got him two sets; my mum gets me pieces in specific sizes I've said I want as I go along.) I have... no idea at all how I'd go about acquiring equivalents in the US (seriously when I spent a summer there I took a couple of pans and some knives in my hold baggage), so I wish you the best of luck because wow.

[birke]

Yeah, I've spent a couple periods of my life haunting garage sales and secondhand stores for household things, and I can't say I saw any Le Creuset or similar. Guess people cling to their goods, here.

[vass]

*is impressed*

(Custard the Dragon had big, sharp teeth
Spines on top of him, and scales underneath
Mouth like a fireplace, chimney for a nose
And realio, trulio daggers for toes.)

[fyreharper]

<3!

[silveradept]

Huzzah, custard!

Quis custodiet custard?

[hairyears]

You have become the online Eggnoggy Aunt.