A couple of points I'm still mulling over

[kaberett]

... clarified by engagement with Captain Awkward #807: he who is selfish in bed should probably sleep alone from now on.

1. There is a distinction, and I am increasingly inclined to think it's a valuable one, between touching someone primarily because you'll enjoy it (with them enjoying it being a secondary or irrelevant consideration) and touching someone primarily because you want them to enjoy it. The former is a kind of objectification I'm okay with under some very specifically negotiated circumstances, but outside the context of said negotiations I am incredibly averse to it regardless of which way round it's happening.
   
2. There is a distinction, and I am again increasingly inclined to think it's a valuable one, between on the one hand wanting to have sex with someone and on the other wanting them to want to have sex with you. (This is partially motivated by one specific comment, which I think I should perhaps not actually try composing a response to.)