kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett
VOLCANO SHARKS (actually that should maybe go in [community profile] capslock_dreamwidth as well, anyone feel like sorting that out for me)

10 things I wish I'd known about gaslighting.
Change should make you bigger, it should increase your tank of self love, it should make you stronger, clearer, more directed, more differentiated, and more compassionate. The pain of growth is different than the pain of destruction. One will fill you with love and pride, even when it is hard, and the other will fill you with shame and fear. No one should use shame or fear to try to get you to change. When they do this they are not asking for change, they are asking for control.

[personal profile] happydork posted a thing about introversion, social anxiety, social skills, and change that made me feel very soothed and much calmer about some of the stuff I do. Hurrah paradigms that help.

Speaking of things that soothe me, [personal profile] recessional has posted another small commentfic about Bucky (in your blue-eyed boys-verse, which is actual MCU canon as far as I'm concerned), about trauma and safety and sleep and hypervigilance and how astonishing the people around you can be, in embodying traits and behaviours and beliefs you hadn't realised were possible but want to fold into yourself.

(no subject)

Date: 2015-07-18 07:26 pm (UTC)
whereisirisnow: (Default)
From: [personal profile] whereisirisnow
I really liked the video of the volcano sharks! And the article about gaslighting was very interesting.

(no subject)

Date: 2015-07-18 07:48 pm (UTC)
davidgillon: A pair of crutches, hanging from coat hooks, reflected in a mirror (Default)
From: [personal profile] davidgillon
Thank you for the gaslighting thing, made me realise that this is what the management at Evil Aerospace were doing when they swore blind things hadn't been said to me, never mind I'd come straight out of the meeting and written them down. (Things like 'Your disability makes you a risk to my schedules, there's no way I'm putting you in a job at your own grade').

Also interesting to apply it to people who swear blind that disability discrimination and microaggressions really aren't happening.

ETA: The introversion thing is interesting, I'm another person who had to teach myself a lot of the stuff it talks about in late-ish teens.
Edited Date: 2015-07-18 07:56 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2015-07-18 10:27 pm (UTC)
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
From: [personal profile] sonia
Thanks for the gaslighting and introversion links! Lots to think about in both of them.

(no subject)

Date: 2015-07-19 08:42 am (UTC)
sfred: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sfred
Even people around me who usually question my interpretation of stuff onscreen or on a page agree that your blue-eyed boys-verse is canon.

(no subject)

Date: 2015-07-20 09:18 am (UTC)
sfred: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sfred


kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)

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