#14 Feminism & humour

[kaberett]

In a whole bunch of senses jedusaur and I ~grew up together~ - we met in metaquotes back in the day, have met up in person a couple of times now, and did a lot of thinking about sexuality/gender/theology/fandom/ethics/etc in at least peripherally related ways; I know Julia's influenced my thinking (even if we haven't always agreed) & I'd like to think the reverse holds. ;)

-- which is relevant partly because I'm speculating about why she asked this particular question (when I could, you know, just have asked her, but hey!) and partly because I think it's useful context for how & why I'm framing my response.

Two key points, I think: (1) yes, becoming a more aware feminist has changed some of my attitudes to what I find funny and; and (2) no, becoming a more aware feminist hasn't meant I no longer have a sense of humour.

Lots of people have written excellent stuff on the theory of this: aiming to punch up rather than punch down; aiming not to hurt people already stigmatised and marginalised by using them as jokes. Julia's probably got all the science to this on hand, but implicit association tests and unconscious bias and all that makes me very keen to watch what it is I laugh at and work out why it is I'm laughing at it, in the interests of taking care not to further entrench my existing prejudices. As many people before me have said, a lot of "edgy" "humour" that's "politically incorrect" isn't "edgy" at all - it's repetitive and boring and has been done to death.

OKAY, I am going to subdivide into categories that most of my humour is drawn from these days:

1. Puns, punes, or plays on words. I have an unfortunate weakness for people who tell terrible puns even though I'm not particularly a punster myself, because what I do enjoy is language games. This! Is humour that is funny without any need to be derogatory towards anyone, that works via the absurd! And yeah okay it is sometimes snide, but it can be snide toward yourself rather than third parties (hence my finding "relationship escalator" so amusing when said by facesfriend after we'd... just been snogging on an escalator, or, you know, pretty much anything my useless ex says ever, because he is basically a cheese-tea-and-hugs-fuelled pun machine that occasionally produces code).
   
2. Particularly dark humour that is knowingly awful and is funny because it's awful (thus to keep from weeping), usually in my case about mental health or about experiencing oppression more generally. This I restrict to contexts wherein (1) I know all parties present and (2) I know they're okay to engage in that kind of conversation. Like, there is a particular expression of my mental illness that is fucking hilarious if you're a Manics fan and (familiar with) a particular kind of crazy, and otherwise takes a lot of explanation and just gets me weird looks. (This is some of why I love recessional's fic your blue-eyed boys quite so much, because my sense of humour is fucked up in many of the same ways that Bucky's is a total fucking trainwreck, and it is so nice to read fiction in which this is represented as A Normal Way Of Things and Completely Understandable instead of baffling and disgusting and incomprehensible.
   
3. In-group jokes of a slightly less viciously bleak bent. So, for example, a huge pile of orchestra jokes: what's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? -- a bull has the horns at the front and the arse at the back, or various viola jokes (I've been a viola player and adore viola music), and so on - in the understanding that someone will retaliate with an equally sarcastic comment about whatever it is you play: an expectation of reciprocity, and (certainly in my spaces) an understanding that you don't do this shit unless you know the other person's up for it, and you apologise if you screw up.

Like - these are jokes that aren't predicated on the notion that blonde women are impractical and that having much hands-on experience of whatever is a bad thing; that aren't predicated on the notion that women are owned by men and sex is shameful; that don't tie a given physical characteristic to personality traits or worth. Yes, sure, viola jokes hinge on the very tired stereotype that violists are violinists who couldn't hack it or whatever, but that's kind of not a societally oppressed and marginalised group, soz viola players of the world.

So! That is roughly where I am with this one.

Comments

[ghoti]

Have I told you about the person who died from eating poisoned chickpeas?
.
.
.
.
.
Police ruled it was a hummus-ide.
Victim reportedly told friends (before their untimely demise) "yanno, I just felafel".

[birke]

oh my god

[birke]

Do you like parodies of things you like?

[kaberett]

Hmm. At least some of the time, yes, and actually I think something that's relevant here is badfic - I absolutely adore cackling over badfic, but feel awful doing so over fic that isn't intentionally badfic? Which is why I have written a bunch of REALLY TERRIBLE DICK JOKES as fanfiction, so I get to laugh at them without worrying I'm being unpleasant to anyone.

[kaberett]

. . .

[birke]

Ha!

[ghoti]

*innocent face*

[steorra]

Ooh, there's an excellent viola joke that only works in German! I wonder if you know it.

Q: Was sind die drei Lagen auf der Bratsche?

[kaberett]

Erste Lage, Notlage, Niederlage :-)

[skygiants]

I LOVE VIOLA JOKES. (I too was a violist once upon a time.) What is the difference between a violin and a viola?

[steorra]

:-)

I am always happy when I find someone I can share that joke with.

(Needs someone who knows both German and technical aspects of stringed musicianship...)

[kaberett]

This is a problem I frequently have, yes. And is why I didn't put it in the post, which is why I am quite so delighted you put it to me in the comments :-)

[kaberett]

(nothing, it's just the violinist's head is bigger)

[skygiants]

my all-time favorite joke

[steorra]

:-)

[silveradept]

Hooray for puns, black humor, and band jokes. (Says the trombonist)

[quartzpebble]

My version of #3, with the right people, involves good-natured scientific hierarchical snobbery. Especially with the right physicists.

[kaberett]

yes! this is a thing i do too.

[fyreharper]

:appreciative facepalm:

Puns and Needles

[hairyears]

Speaking of terrible punsters, you do know scattermoon?

Bilingual puns in German available on request.

[azurelunatic]

sithjawa and I sometimes go for wacky rules which seem to go with local rules but have entirely different rationales.

sithjawa and I once, as part of a late-night chat session, posited the rule that in a sentence containing entities of varying sentience, the grammatical rule that the entities should be sorted in order of sentience. For reasons of politeness, if one's own self is in the sentence and another fully sentient being is in the sentence, the other one goes first. So it would be "sithjawa and I played with the toaster." That one sounds normal. It's more of a stretch to say, "I am made professional by the shirt!"

One of my favorite things is running jokes. So we keep using this rule every now and then, to make each other laugh.

There is only one person for whom we regularly break this rule when using it. That is Shawn, in his position as that guy who made my high school life really weird and not often in the good way. So we would get "sithjawa and I watched the toaster as Shawn played with it." Which, absent context, is a pretty normal sentence. In context? Breathtakingly rude. In context of what Shawn did to me? Funniest shit ever.

[azurelunatic]

Have I linked you to the Bad Bang yet? (And there will be another one in another month or two, also.)

[vass]

The only joke in German that I know:

"Hallo, ich heiße Umberto und ich bin hier um Ihre Tochter zu..."
"Um was?"
"Um-berto!"

It's probably a lot less funny if you speak more German than I do - I discovered last year that the weakest jokes sound way funnier if you only just understand enough of a language to get the joke.

[vass]

At the restaurant, the waiter told them it was bean soup.
The victim said "I don't care what it's been, what is it now?"

[ghoti]

:D

[inoru_no_hoshi]

xDD

[fyreharper]

It's like the Meehoo with an Exactlywatt! :D

(which roomie and I tend to recite at one another...)

[vass]

Shel Silverstein was not part of my childhood, so I had to look that up. And now I'm giggling helplessly and wishing I'd known about that when the Niece was younger.

[steorra]

I just remembered that I was able to share this joke with you so I found the comment thread again and now I'm smiling.