[poem] Afterwards, Low Tide

[kaberett]

            In relief's ebb
the shifting sands of selfhood un/
cover rocks of hope/lessness.
You once said we were magnets:
does that hold?
               I've learned, I think,
why some comfort's called cold:
because it burns. Keep it
in your mind's-eye's heart for just a beat too long:
you'll find it shan't depart without
its layer of skin. It leaves you raw.
Salt stings; Weltschmerz. Stretched thin,
stretched to translucency, I've no idea
at all how I might best begin to say:
Please.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

owwwww.

"It leave you raw" is missing a letter perhaps?

[kaberett]

Thank you; fixed <3

[davidgillon]

Love this, but 'You once said we were magnets: does that hold?' seems to me like it drops the metaphor mid-stride. I'd be tempted to carry it through into magnetic poles, 'but poles apart, or poles alike?', but I'm not the poet.

[kaberett]

Yep, that's deliberate :-) I considered extending it and then decided that actually I wanted to play with negative space and things unsaid here.

[pipisafoat]

fascinate

[kaberett]

♥

[amianym]

Ohh my goodness this is now among my favorites of your poems. And ow.

[kaberett]

♥ thank you! It is one of those ones where suddenly everything clicked more or less into place and needed scribbling down on the tube on my way to counselling.

[vass]

So much ow.

You write good poetry.

[kaberett]

♥

[worlds_of_smoke]

I add to the ouch. This is... yeah. Ouch.

[calissa]

Ouch, yes, but a fresh scouring.

I like the little bits of rhyme here and there.