[poem] The author reimagined as a rock

[kaberett]

Say, for the sake of argument,
that my foundation is movement
that at root all I do
is flow: my breath through my lungs,
my blood in my veins, tides of fluid,
neurotransmitters leaping, all daring, all flaring
between synapses. I'd have you believe
I'm solid and sturdy, not limestone
nor karst, and I'd lie:

You permeate me. The spaces I move in
that move in and through me
are porosities. You love
like groundwater, like rainfall; you creep
through my depths as a ghost, leaving only
your traces: calcification, my vesicles
filled, lending strength, making brittle,
and stealing my freedom to float.
And in your wake: stalactites hang
silent & sharp within the caverns of my heart.

Comments

[kaberett]

(As with everything else tagged this way, the relationship to reality is anywhere from "direct" to "extremely tenuous". In this instance, I'm playing with an image that occurred at 1am and am completely fine. Would be curious to know, therefore, if this feels more detached/less emotional than other poetry I write!)

[cadenzamuse]

It definitely does not feel more detached/less emotional. I actually think comparisons to things that aren't usually deemed "poetic" end up being more intimate and emotional because they make connections the reader may not be used to.

In this case in particular, your description of the human body feels so incredibly exhilarating, and that last line was a punch in the gut.

I'm on the wrong computer for copying this over to my commonplace book (note to self: must add Evernote to Grasshopper), but otherwise I 100% would.

[vass]

Definitely not detached or less emotional. Those are living, vivid images. I can almost smell the cold water and rock.

[kaberett]

I played with the idea of including ice-driven mechanical weathering and then decided it wasn't actually relevant!

[steorra]

I almost felt like I understood this one. With emotion. It didn't seem detached.

[alexseanchai]

It actually feels more emotional to me. Is absolutely lovely, too.

[surpassingly]

<33333333333

You are wonderful.

[raze]

I love when you combine geology with poetry; your command of it makes the metaphors work so freaking well. *.*

[kaberett]

SNEAKY PUMICE METAPHOR IN ANTEPENULTIMATE LINE <333

Last week I was having an angst about using only commonplace metaphors and not crafting imagery of my own. I am fairly confident that was brainweasels. ;)

[vi]

I love this! Even as someone who doesn't know much about rocks.

[kaberett]

(Also: shehasathree, this is a bit for you for the obvious reasons. xx)

[firecat]

I LOVE THIS.

[wordweaverlynn]

This is wonderful.

[davidgillon]

Absolutely not 'detached/less emotional', in fact I'd describe it as extremely intimate. The geological imagery works fine for me, though I've soaked up enough geological background knowledge that I don't need to work to understand them, OTOH imagery you need to work at can sometimes be even more rewarding, so I wouldn't fret it.

[inoru_no_hoshi]

Beautiful imagery. With bonus ouch. <333

[calissa]

It's possibly a little sharper than usual, but definitely not less emotional. I absolutely adore the imagery you've used (but I'm sure you're not surprised by that).

<3

[carthaginians]

oh.

<33333!!