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kaberettOn Thursday night I was at a friend's tiny opera show, and in the interval I burst into tears all over That One Lady and couldn't quite work out why, beyond a general feeling that I was isolated (and a whole lot of brain going "what? no you aren't!").
I have worked it out some. A large part of it is that I am spending an awful lot of my energy (motive and social) just getting into work and managing office niceties. But there's another contribution, and that is getting to just sit very quietly in the same room as someone I know well and like a lot. When I'm living at my parental abode, my mum and I play Scrabble most evenings: I sit with a book or some work, she reads or bimbles about doing housework while I'm thinking about my move, and we talk only intermittently. For most of undergrad, Awesome Housemate C was camped out on either my sofa or my bed, quietly getting on with her stuff while I got on with mine, plus - again - occasional bits of chat/making each other tea.
(Additional issue: my mum is offline at the moment and will be for another week or so, probably, so I'm Predictably Fretting about not hearing from her even though I know why. It is at least less intense than normal.)
I think I either need to work out how to build more of this kind of time into my life, or work out how to notice when I'm already getting it outside the kinds of structures that I'm already used to interpreting that way. Also, probably, to grit my teeth and actually use my wheelchair more, which will result in less exhaustion.
Deeply curious as to how you all manage this (and if this kind of social time is a thing other folk need!).
I have worked it out some. A large part of it is that I am spending an awful lot of my energy (motive and social) just getting into work and managing office niceties. But there's another contribution, and that is getting to just sit very quietly in the same room as someone I know well and like a lot. When I'm living at my parental abode, my mum and I play Scrabble most evenings: I sit with a book or some work, she reads or bimbles about doing housework while I'm thinking about my move, and we talk only intermittently. For most of undergrad, Awesome Housemate C was camped out on either my sofa or my bed, quietly getting on with her stuff while I got on with mine, plus - again - occasional bits of chat/making each other tea.
(Additional issue: my mum is offline at the moment and will be for another week or so, probably, so I'm Predictably Fretting about not hearing from her even though I know why. It is at least less intense than normal.)
I think I either need to work out how to build more of this kind of time into my life, or work out how to notice when I'm already getting it outside the kinds of structures that I'm already used to interpreting that way. Also, probably, to grit my teeth and actually use my wheelchair more, which will result in less exhaustion.
Deeply curious as to how you all manage this (and if this kind of social time is a thing other folk need!).
(no subject)
Date: 2014-03-08 07:58 pm (UTC)