SOMEbody has been waiting until my figs are 24 hours short of ripe and then PICKING THEM with their HORRIBLE LITTLE HANDS and GNAWING THEM with their HORRIBLE LITTLE TEETH and then, and this is the insult to the injury, abandoning them half-eaten.
(It's the squirrel. The problem is The Squirrel. I am consoling myself that my mother's tree is producing more figs than they can eat so at least I'll get some of those.)