... okay I am so unconvinced by gabapentin

[kaberett]

up to 10% of users will experience anxiety or depression.

I've been ramping up, very slowly, for nearly a week now (began on the 10th); today is my first day of attempting to take 400mg.

• I just thought "can I put the world on pause"
  
• I'm not yet getting intrusive thoughts about self-harm, but when I contemplate it my response is less "academic yep that's a useful coping mechanism" and more "hmm, might help", and I'm catching myself digging my nails into myself
  
• I've been out of bed for about five hours today - I've just woken up from a 3-hour nap - and I want to crawl back into it.
  
• I'm getting into "can't move/think/do sensible things" brainloops more noticeably and possibly more frequently.
  
• I'm feeling avoidant about the lovely weather and work I'm actually kind of enjoying when I can settle to it and about people

This is an incredibly low dose of the stuff - we're deliberately ramping me up gradually, because "very common" side effects include drowsiness/reduction in cognitive function, which we don't wanna dump on me in the run-up to finals - but I am... kind of getting concerned? (Also, I am not yet noticing a decrease in pain levels, which is rather to be expected; typical pain-relief doses start at Many Times This.)

Other factors include an upcoming deadline and, of course, that it's exam term. Nonetheless, keeping an eye on this.