kaberett | [melodrama] i am CURSED

Late July: I receive an e-mail telling me that Wild Chorus, an oracle deck by Abacus Corvus that I'd backed on Kickstarter, would be getting delivered the... day after? the day after I'd set off for the third Admin: the LRP event of the year.

I was therefore somewhat baffled when I got home post-event and It Wasn't There Yet! But pleased when I got the text message the next day telling me it was out for delivery. (I think this is roughly how it went but it's past bedtime so I'm not double-checking the precise timeline right now.)

... and rapidly less pleased when, upon its delivery, it was immediately apparent that the reason for the delay was that the parcel had been dropped, missed, run over, and eventually found again.

Obviously I took photos while unpacking. (Box destroyed -- like, parts of it actually missing and nowhere within the taped-back-together parcel; cards somewhat dented; book decidedly dented.) Sorting out refund is... a work in progress.

(Fun fact: if you are the recipient and you make a claim with FedEx, they'll apparently reimburse you at the rate of something oddly specific like £22.89/kg of shipment. Doing so precludes the sender from making a claim for the actual value.)

At the beginning of this week I put in a Ruby Violet order, prompted in part by the fact that they had damson & soured cream (one of my favourite flavours!) available.

On Wednesday evening I got a call to let me know that they were in fact out of damson & soured cream, and would I like to pick a replacement flavour? So I did! And that was fine.

Yesterday morning I needed to be down at the GP surgery at 8.30 a.m. for my second Zoladex injection. I was a bit twitchy about timings, so had the DHL tracking page up on my phone and was checking it regularly around getting stabbed/eating consolation custard tart/picking mulberries/etc. I was Somewhat Alarmed when the status updated to "lol we're going to aim to deliver next working day :)" and phoned Ruby Violet to be all ???

Wound up leaving voicemail. Took myself up to the allotment. Watered some plants. Reconstructed the climbing frame for the beans that actually germinated (it had fallen over). Discovered tracking info had updated to inform me that My Consignment Was Being Returned To Sender :)

Home. E-mails. Ruby Violet are deeply perplexed because this has never happened before, but they're trying to get in touch with DHL to ask what on earth gives, and also everything's packed in insulation with lots of dry ice so should be good for up to 72 hours i.e. Friday delivery should be Fine.

This morning: I get a text telling me I can expect delivery between 13:04 and 14:04.

When the doorbell eventually goes, A answers the door. I am initially mildly alarmed because, rather than being in a Ruby Violet box with Ruby Violet tape the entire thing is in a reused Lavazza X Hundred Coffee Cups box taped up with fluorescent yellow packing tape. The delivery label has a hand-written note: "Food must be out Today". But, you know, maybe they've started using recycled packaging...?

... yeah, no. We open the box and discover that there is ice cream soup. everywhere. everywhere. There is none of the usual insulating material. There are no CO₂ sachets. And did I mention the ice cream soup? Everywhere?

So. More photos. Top box is... a mess. Everything -- four tubs -- is liquid and very little of anything is salvageable, not helped by one of them having fallen gaily over.

Bottom box: tubs still actually had frost on. Heat gun says surface temperature hovering around 0°C. Squishy. Texture uncertain. Into the freezer with them just in case.

... More E-mails.

Ruby Violet are indignant (at DHL) and extremely apologetic. Replacement will be being posted out to me after next week's dry ice delivery. This Has Never Happened Before. They Are Displeased.

Things that melted include: my pear sorbet.

It is possible that I wailed a little. And, also, I am cursed.

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From:

kaberett

I am not actually cursed, exhibit A: my copy of Gaia (watercolours, bodies in landscapes) arrived in perfect condition. Alas I have decided it is not for me. (Think it might be for you? In the UK, or willing to pay international postage? Sing out!)

I am hopefully not actually cursed, potential exhibit B: I have a fountain pen due in tomorrow's post. Via Royal Mail, who have not yet caused any disasters for me, at least this month. (Pen is the Gravitas Quark, aluminium, teal, second-hand off the UK fountain pen fandom buy/sell/trade group. This will be a first Gravitas and also a first Actually Pocket Pen for me, not counting the much-mourned vintage flex Wahl Eversharp I lost at London Zoo on an early trip to UCH for migraine-related care.)