Yep.

Jul. 30th, 2014 01:05 pm
kaberett: A drawing of a black woman holding her right hand, minus a ring finger, in front of her face. "Oh, that. I cut it  off." (molly - cut it off)
[personal profile] kaberett
[personal profile] recessional on appearing high-functioning.

I've got a loosely-organised collection of around 10 people who remind me to do basic self-care, visit me so I have a reason to prepare food when my housemate's out, do the laundry, help make groceries happen, definitely who facilitate sleep, prompt me to do housework that makes me feel better (see yesterday's todo/tada), and so on, and so forth.

All of this is work. I am simultaneously much less and much more independently functional than I look.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-30 12:19 pm (UTC)
hollymath: (Default)
From: [personal profile] hollymath
...Wow, I've just thought of a painfully-obvious but very-useful-to-me thing, in reading this. Which I am for pre-existing reasons too fragile and headachy to articulate, but I wanted to say "hooray!" and "thanks for that" at least.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-30 01:27 pm (UTC)
shehasathree: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shehasathree
mmmmph.
REasons i am more functional living with Steve than i was living with my parents: not just about escaping emotionally toxic environment.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-31 05:03 am (UTC)
shehasathree: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shehasathree
We spent a lot of time in different rooms of the apartment.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-30 01:30 pm (UTC)
killing_rose: Raven/corvid in the frozen surf (Default)
From: [personal profile] killing_rose
And this is why I require someone to live with, preferably with a good grasp of neuroatypical brains and invisible disabilities. (And part of what went so horribly awry two years ago.)

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-30 01:39 pm (UTC)
we: (Kerry - Elsewhere)
From: [personal profile] we
Yes, this makes loads of sense, and I think mutualistic relationships can be really helpful for people who struggle with executive dysfunction.

~K.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-31 05:03 am (UTC)
shehasathree: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shehasathree
yep yep yep.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-30 02:03 pm (UTC)
jelazakazone: black squid on a variegated red background (Default)
From: [personal profile] jelazakazone
This makes me wonder if I'm less neurotypical than I think I am. I find living with people to be both crazy-making, but also very grounding. It gives me points (as it were) to focus on.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-30 03:15 pm (UTC)
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea (Default)
From: [personal profile] redbird
Thanks for this. I don't need as much of it as you do, and I may have mentally automated more of the parts I do need (in the literal decades of living with [personal profile] cattitude), but some of this definitely rings true.

There's also overlap with second wave feminist writings like "Why I want a wife," about the ways the culture teaches men that they will have a lot of this taken care of for them: a shape of traditional marriage in which it is a given that a man will have someone else to make dinner and remind him to eat it, get the groceries and toilet paper and such, be responsible for the home being clean, maybe buy his clothes for him…

And from here, the problem isn't "nobody should be doing that for you," it's the assumption that the category of people who get that done for them should be isomorphic to "men."

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-31 05:04 am (UTC)
shehasathree: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shehasathree
YES.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-30 06:46 pm (UTC)
silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)
From: [personal profile] silveradept
This makes sense in all ways, neurotypical or no. Having someone there to help assume or manage the details of life is cogntiviely easing. The best kinds of polymers and other bonds would be ones where everyone manages different details naturally and it all meshes together.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-30 11:56 pm (UTC)
silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)
From: [personal profile] silveradept
Yes, those ones are even better. And, I fink, was what I wanted to say, instead of what I did say.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-08-01 04:41 am (UTC)
rising: triangular yellow warning sign with many people bodies: group intellect (the cadre: group intellect)
From: [personal profile] rising
Yes this, so much. It's sometimes why we hate living with our parents, but are at the same time terrified of the idea of moving out on our own, because our ability to be a functional adult without pointers and someone else is sometimes limited. We need someone to bounce off of sometimes, as frustrating as we can be and get and as hateful as we sometimes find anything above the minimal amounts of contact with all but the absolute right people, and. Just. And.

Everything that has been already said, pretty much.

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