amusing minor household incompatibilities
Jun. 12th, 2020 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Okay so. You have a cupboard. The cupboard... needs organising.
If you are me: you spend up to a couple of weeks taking things out of the cupboard and then leaving them on the counter until the cupboard's about half-empty, at which point you gather the cope to Sort It Out. (The more full the cupboard is the more overwhelmed you are and the less you have cope for anything including getting things out of it when you need them.)
If you are A: you keep putting things back into the cupboard willy-nilly until you hit a convenient confluence of executive function and boredom, then take everything out and put it back in a way that makes sense. (The more cluttered the side is the more overwhelmed you are and the less you have cope for anything, especially putting things away neatly.)
These two approaches... are not super compatible, especially if you both keep getting low-grade (minorly! briefly! fleetingly, even!) exasperated with the other person for Not Doing The Obviously Sensible Thing.
IT IS OKAY WE SORTED IT OUT but the conversation was a solid ten minutes of staring at each other in mounting confusion and perplexity and bafflement while we tried to make the words go enough to fit the concept of the One True Way into each others' heads before we finally got it resolved. (I'd say "sorted out" but that... is a job for another day.)
If you are me: you spend up to a couple of weeks taking things out of the cupboard and then leaving them on the counter until the cupboard's about half-empty, at which point you gather the cope to Sort It Out. (The more full the cupboard is the more overwhelmed you are and the less you have cope for anything including getting things out of it when you need them.)
If you are A: you keep putting things back into the cupboard willy-nilly until you hit a convenient confluence of executive function and boredom, then take everything out and put it back in a way that makes sense. (The more cluttered the side is the more overwhelmed you are and the less you have cope for anything, especially putting things away neatly.)
These two approaches... are not super compatible, especially if you both keep getting low-grade (minorly! briefly! fleetingly, even!) exasperated with the other person for Not Doing The Obviously Sensible Thing.
IT IS OKAY WE SORTED IT OUT but the conversation was a solid ten minutes of staring at each other in mounting confusion and perplexity and bafflement while we tried to make the words go enough to fit the concept of the One True Way into each others' heads before we finally got it resolved. (I'd say "sorted out" but that... is a job for another day.)
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-12 10:07 pm (UTC)because we are good at this
<3
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-15 03:49 am (UTC)Cupboards take a lot of work!
I don't have another human, so my process is something like:
1. cupboard under the bench is a bit unwieldy and I should do something about it.
2. The floor is dirty, I should probably clean the floor before sitting there sorting cupboard and pulling things out.
3. Sweep and mop floor. Now the floor is wet, and I'm tired, have a nap or sit at computer.
4. About one week later: repeat from step 1.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-18 10:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-12 10:27 pm (UTC)you are both good at domestic'ing, or something
have you considered fitting a rotating contraption to your cupboard? you both want to move objects from point X to point Y, you just disagree on the mapping between {X, Y} and {cupboard, side}. if you could rotate the two on an axis, you could change the mapping on a moment-by-moment basis.
<3
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-13 06:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-13 09:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-14 07:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-12 11:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-13 08:43 am (UTC)We got divorced. We *still* have incompatible approaches to my cupboards.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-13 09:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-13 09:12 am (UTC)(when my partner and I were quarantining together for a few months in their very tightly packed 250-square-foot studio apartment, we kind of developed a system where I would say "is there a reason you do [household organizational thing] like this?" and usually they would be like "nope you can change that if you want" but once in a while it would just be "yes and the reason is I want it that way" XD)
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-13 09:46 am (UTC)That is a conversation we also often have!
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-16 12:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-16 04:37 pm (UTC)I hadn't really thought about it, but my roommate and I are fairly territorial with our food (we do share but we're explicit about what is to be shared) and my partner and I were much more lax about eating whatever was available, though I've done most of the cooking in both households. But that makes sense, since food is kind of part of the lifestyle D/s stuff I do with my partner (not that I tell them what to eat, but I get dommy about making them take a break for food or just putting it in front of them if they forget to eat too long). Roomie and I have a somewhat different relationship XD
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-16 09:13 pm (UTC)Where it gets interesting is lunch. I've tended to buy lunch in the staff canteen at work, or, at weekends, make myself a cheese sandwich (so using communal supplies).
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-18 10:48 am (UTC)tbf we do operate on a system of mostly "if it's in the fridge it's fair game" but this is helped by (1) explicitly checking in with each other before actually finishing anything that's at all Special, and (2) mostly having completely non-intersecting ideas of what constitutes Treat Food...
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-18 05:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-18 08:31 pm (UTC)glad to hear it!
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-13 02:38 pm (UTC)This is... highly suboptimal, but not a problem that's going to go away until we have many many more cupboards or many many fewer things (or some combination of both that meets in the middle).
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-18 10:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-13 06:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-13 07:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-15 12:28 am (UTC)I wish I had enough cupboard space to sort all the things and enough counter space to have all the appliances in the right places.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-18 10:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-18 11:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-19 03:27 am (UTC)(I'm good at unfucking small, specific spaces. Large spaces? Um. Let's just say I'm working piecemeal at best. This is relevant because I am in fact in the process of a Large Unfuckening and it is made of Aaaaaaaa.)