ten good things

[kaberett]

1. I bought myself flowers! Because I do this, occasionally: mostly stripy tulips, but on this occasion as I was wandering around looking at other reduced bits, an enormous bouquet of sunflowers and white roses got further reduced from £5.79 or thereabouts (from an original £15) to £1.79 and I pounced, and now it is in a vase on the dining table and making me happy.
   
2. Both supervisors have now signed off on my second data chapter, to the tune of "Yeah, look at it again when you're finalising the writing up but this is currently in better shape than a lot of chapters we've examined, well done you". There was even some good-natured joshing about my proclivity for semicolons.
   
3. Paperwork has been filed with a partner institution requesting the samples I'm aiming to work on for my final portion of the project. I was pointed at the existing publication on the samples; I decided how I wanted to shortlist them and why; those are pretty much exactly what we've requested, in the end. (We dropped a couple, but haven't added anything, which feels pretty good.) And I advocated for a reasonable work pattern that my supervisor was a little dubious about, so, y'know, let's see how much lab time I can cram in between now and December.
   
4. I have also actually done a sterling job of talking myself down from some PhD-related rejection hypersensitivity, to the tune of being able to offer myself plausible alternate explanations essentially immediately and mostly actually hold onto them (with a few wobbles) over the course of a Somewhat Stressful Day (lots of it eustress, but, as M points out in my head, That's Still Stress).
   
5. Testosterone. My vocal pitch - when I remember to talk at the point that's comfortable instead of the point I'm used to - is now a match for A's. He's still adjusting to me permanently sounding like I have a cold; for my part I'm singing to myself a fair bit more, and also basking in the PETTY VINDICATION of my projected response to testosterone, given all the various bullshit gatekeepers being all Ooh But There's No Way You Could Possibly Know Your Voice Will Change Before Any Other Significant Changes Set In, which, like, sure, EXCEPT FOR ALL THE AVAILABLE DATA, yah boo sucks.
   
6. I am -- finally! -- starting to settle into and enjoy the current short story collection, not least because it turns out they're doing the thing of being less standalones and more interlinked and slightly overlapping; main characters at one life stage in one story show up as background characters at quite another time of life in another, which is letting the bit of my hindbrain that finds short stories (and especially short story collections) Difficult relax a bit.
   
7. Being back in the old labs is (we have two clean lab suites) is Interesting but, I think, on balance good: on the one hand everything's rather older such that e.g. there's a slightly alarming amount of rust in some places, and there are fewer mod cons, and I've got a rather less convenient arrangement of cupboards to store my miscellania in, but on the other everything is a sort of creamy beige instead of SCREAMING WHITE and as a result it... hurts much less to exist in, as a space, and that's a relief. (I mean, I knew I was keeping most of the lights in the new labs off, given the option, and I knew I was finding it a Difficult environment, but I think I'd managed to lose track of quite how difficult, because they "ought" to be easier to work in, see also: mod cons.)
   
8. Other mental health work paying off: no noticeable spike in separation anxiety this evening, and a whole lot of buffer to be kind to myself with if it had, in spite of the Everything.
   
9. All of the ice cream mix has now been churned, which shifts fridge space to freezer space and also means there is now apricot ice cream both with and without raspberry ripple (and I really must get to the allotment for long enough to pick a pile more raspberries and turn them into cake/lemonade/etc).
   
10. Quiet evening largely curled up on the sofa and gently socialising via the magic of the internet, yes good.

Comments

[alatefeline]

:)

[alexseanchai]

woo voice!

[lunabee34]

Yay!

Lucky roommates who can chose

[jesse_the_k]

between ice cream with or without ripple in.

rejection hypersensitivity is a useful phrase, thank you. "Rejection sensitive dysphoria" feels like too much of a muchness.

[batrachian]

re #10:, as one of the specific corners of said internet, thank you. (both today and much of the previousness.)

[untonuggan]

yes these are very good things. isn't it funny how sensory environments can be so stressful and yet we're all like "BUT IT SHOULD WORK"? i mean, maybe funny is not exactly the right word. still, glad you figured it out and are back to cream walls.

[archangelbeth]

*goes oh-cool-YAY for the voicechanging!*

[sfred]

Hurray for all these things and especially voice!

I spent about eight hours singing along in the car on my way to and from holiday, to find out where my singing voice is now. The answer is "lower than lots of male singers I like".

[vass]

\o/

[shanaqui]

#5, ooh, lovely!

[silveradept]

Ten very good things.

[worlds_of_smoke]

♥

[fyreharper]

:)

[cesy]

Hi
<3
I think you're cool.

[sporky_rat]

Bright white is so painful.

[highlyeccentric]

Re: #5, I come with queries from a friend (ALSO named Alex, because every third transmasc person is named Alex). Feel free to pass if this is beyond your pay grade.

Big question: are you aware of any research into interactions between autoimmune disorders and hormone supplements such as Testosterone?

Situation: Alex(Aus) has Currently Unspecified Autoimmune Situations, some of which resemble EDS and some of which are severe reactions to histamines, mould spores, and a few other things. They've already found some evidence suggesting that there's a correlation between mould spore allergies and hypersensitivity to some vaccines (no they're not anti-vaxx, but they do experience more of the rare side effects than your average human).

Their immunologist noticed that the latest and biggest flare-up correlated with a T-shot. (It's ALSO not too distant from a recent vaccination, though.)

My impression is that the T factor is probably a red herring, but their immunologist is dithering. Given you've experienced pretty hostile gatekeeping, it struck me that *if* there is any data on T and autoimmune reactions, someone would probably have thrown it at you.