Babies

[kaberett]

Help me out here, internet: babies. Such tiny FINGERS. Such tiny TOES. You can PUT THEM ALL IN YOUR MOUTH AT ONCE and NIBBLE GENTLY (assuming the baby in question is in favour of this form of interaction) and they are so TINY and so SOFT and so LIPPABLE. Yes?

A has been somewhat taken aback to my reaction to TINY ANGRY TOES on public transport. I have attempted to explain that this is an entirely normal response to Small Humans, and I am not quite sure he believes me.

Comments

[rmc28]

Well I think it's perfectly normal :-)

I am amused that my children are both VERY KEEN on babies too. (Pretty certain they get it from both sides, but Tony is usually a bit more reserved about it, until you actually give him a tiny human to hold.)

[alexseanchai]

Well I don't do that but it's not abnormal I'd think.

[mathemagicalschema]

BABIES. with shoes that can barely fit a mouse! their SMOOSHY CHEEKS and tiny baby smiles and abwebfbab :D babies.

your feelings about Small Humans are within normal parameters (unless mine aren't either)

[davidgillon]

Definitely cute, definitely normal.

Nibbling, OTOH, may be a slightly rarer reaction ;)

[watersword]

TINY TINY TOES are the besssssssssst.

[ironed_orchid]

Yes!

So much so that I have seen clickbait articles about why we want to eat babies (well, their toes, anyhow).

[quartzpebble]

BABIES. And knitted BABY THINGS, is there anything cuter than knitting TINY BOOTIES I don't think so.

[catyak]

Babies: they are noisy and they smell.

[maramcreates]

And you never know where those fingers and toes have been either ;)

[syntaxofthings]

I approve of this thread.

[untonuggan]

i have been infected by so many month-long niecephew germ fests lately the few times i see them in person that it is sadz because i am like "lookit these cute babies on the internet" and then baby in public i'm like "hand sanitizer! face mask! garlic and holy water!"

siiiiiiiiiiigh

fortunately for me i want to smoosh cats/dogs more

but yeah it's a normal reaction! totes. but different squishy toes for different folks i suppose.

[syntaxofthings]

baby in public i'm like "hand sanitizer! face mask! garlic and holy water!"

basically my reaction to babies. that and a horrified look. :D

[shewhostaples]

One was sick on me yesterday.

[maramcreates]

I've witnessed that reaction many a time to beings deemed cute (human babies and otherwise) -- my maternal grandmother couldn't stop herself from kissing cat foot pads (the amazing thing is that the cats were often so shocked that they sat there dumbfounded as she did so).

So normal? Sure ;)

As far as A goes though, if I was in his position, then I'd probably be worried that you were getting ideas.... Meaning that pointing out your desire to nibble on baby toes as weird could be a knee jerk defense mechanism ;)

[kaberett]

oh we have reached the point in this particular discussion where a small screaming child will go past us on public transport, all wrinkled up and furious, and I will stare plaintively at him and he will say No, We Do Not Have Space For One, You Are Not Allowed To Grow A Smol.

(Happily the issue is actually a completely moot point anyway -- I am with very high probability infertile for all intents and purposes, and should I manage to implant a fertilised ovum there is a very high chance it would be ectopic, and in practice this means that I don't have to break my heart over whether I think trying to reproduce is worth the risk that both I + any offspring would end up dead during the course of the pregnancy, which is quite high. Quite apart from "I have a lot a lot a LOT of hereditary disorders, do I REALLY want to saddle a kid with them" and "would I actually make a good parent". Which means that the No You Are Not Allowed is a ritual pattern performed entirely for bonding purposes, rather than being anywhere close to being in any sense an argument.)

[forestofglory]

Aww... since I go out in company of a small human somewhat frequently I have observed that many people do in fact really like babies. (Also some people don't or don't care much one way or another.) Your reaction sounds pretty normal to me.

[ghoti]

two words: corn niblets.

[wordweaverlynn]

My thought exactly!

[contrarywise]

Gently nomming tiny babies is totally a thing. Not everyone does it, but it's a normal reaction to OMGTINYBABY!!

ETA: Note that OMGTINYBABIES have grip strength liek whoa, and they will usually grab the hell out of anything that touches their palm, so nom their tiny fingers and hands with due caution. Between their grip and surprisingly sharp fingernails, they can do real damage. DANGER!BABIES

[lebannen]

Oh goodness yes! Their tiny, tiny fingers with the tiny razor-sharp claws ow how do they manage it.

And apparently my reaction to first meeting my brother was to stare in amazement and say 'tiny fingers! tiny toes!', but I was myself quite small at that point, so.

[shehasathree]

YES. Steve agrees. WE have to elbow each other and squee very quietly when we see cute babies while grocery shopping, or the like.

[vass]

Cute aggression. It's a thing.

It's hypothesised that wanting to nom on their little feets is a way of self-regulating for intense and overwhelming joy. You cannibal because you cannot even.

[alatefeline]

Huh! So there is an actual explanation in human psychology for why I want to POUNCE all the little fuzzy animals!

I'm scared of very tiny humans though ... they are adorably itty-bitty but I am terrified that someone will expect me to know what to do with them. Or that they'll start crying.

[redsixwing]

... huh. Learned a thing today.

Thanks!

[surpassingly]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! THEIR LITTLE TOESIES.

I think that reaction is eminently reasonable!!!

[staranise]

It's an evolutionary adaptation! Babies are so deeply unpleasant that if our brains did not go *!!!* at them, we would have died off MILLENNIA ago.

[kaberett]

Yes! I mentioned this to him during at least one of our conversations on the topic, and I think he's entirely on board with the concept that Humans Need The Good Chemicals To Motivate Parenting, I think he's just completely baffled by how on Earth we as a species ended up with a propensity to go "I CAN PUT ITS ENTIRE FEET IN MY MOUTH, AREN'T THEY TINY AND PRECIOUS" and get a hit off that as opposed to anything even remotely sensible. Because it is not one he gets. (And he has observed that I am generally prone to nibbling on things gently to express affection anyway -- I only pretend to be autistic for all the etc etc etc -- so I think he was a little bit "... is this actually widespread", which is fair enough.)

[vass]

Tell him in that study about "cute aggression", when the respondents showed higher levels both of care/protectiveness and aggression in response to the cute babies, the respondents literally said the words "eat them up" in reference to the babies. It is actually widespread.

Unrelatedly, just because it came to my mind: got your nose.

[sfred]

You are quite right.

[shanaqui]

Well, I am entirely abnormal and indeed unnatural in my response to babies, per societal expectation of my apparent gender, so the fact that I'm going "ew no babies ack no" suggests that your reaction is not unusual.

[azurelunatic]

More for you.

/me does not with babies

[tree_and_leaf]

It's perfectly normal, I think.

[silveradept]

Yes, that's normal. Baby toes and fingers are definitely things that can be played with and occasionally nibbled. If you can get the littles close enough to you to do it.

[batrachian]

while i do not have this reaction in general, it is entirely in line with what i have observed my brain doing in response to j.

(all of which is to say, wow, brains self-produce some really interesting drugs.)

[macey]

yes. BABIES. so squishy! and miniature! and so easy to make laugh by pulling faces at them behind their parents' backs!

[sidheag.livejournal.com]

Apparently normal but, in case it reassures anyone reading, in no way required for (apparently, so far) successful rearing of babies. My brain did not get the cannibalism memo and it seems deeply weird to me, even though I know it's common!

[boxofdelights]

The child's foot doesn't yet know it's a foot.
It still wants to be a butterfly, or an apple.

Nom nom nom.

[redsixwing]

I don't get this one; but I am not usual around babies in general, my reaction being along the lines of nopenopenopenopenope instead of nomnomnom.

[inoru_no_hoshi]

YES. Also babies! ♥!!!