[poem] [super draft-y]

[kaberett]

In the moment when someone else's laughter tears
you away from joy
when their face turns mirror-mask, reflecting
back your past, when your breath
catches, and your heart stutter-
skips, the beat of time confused,
gone wrong, when you
startle awake to find you've gone adrift--

when you put down your anchor, set aside your anger,
settle once again into the fabric of your days--
when the details of your life burst blueberry-bright,
delight for all the landscape's swathed in mist--
when you notice you've forgotten to be scared--
this, too, has the taste of victory.

Hoard your small victories like sugar-cubes
or pearls, the coarse made sweet & light.
Remember that the everyday counts, too.
If it is all that you can do to wash your face--
even in this, you'll find you can find grace.

Comments

[vass]

I really like the enjambment on "your heart stutter-skips" and how it illustrates what your heart's doing. And "burst blueberry-bright" is gorgeous.

[alexseanchai]

+1

[kaberett]

"burst blueberry-bright" is entirely for (and because of) littlebutfierce ♥

[redsixwing]

>>when you notice you've forgotten to be scared--
this, too, has the taste of victory.<<

This is lovely.

This line in particular, and the sugar-cubes and pearls (both small bright things that, in the right circumstances, dissolve without a trace) resonated with me.

[kaberett]

It is all about PTSD, and the opening image is actually about a point a week or two ago when I got completely unexpectedly triggered by the face of someone I like and want to get to know better, for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with them.

But finding joy -- yes, yes, I will search joy out and I will learn to love it fiercely and I will learn to make this thing my own.

[davidgillon]

I hadn't thought of PTSD, though it's actually obvious from the imagery now that you make the point. Triggered memory I'd gotten, but PTSD adds an extra layer of meaning/understanding I'd skated obliviously over. It really empowers

"you startle awake to find you've gone adrift--

when you put down your anchor, set aside your anger,"

which is a lovely way to bridge the two stanzas.

[redsixwing]

*nod* I'm sorry about the trigger. I wondered if it was.

But, yes.

[kaberett]

you may be amused to know that the trigger was in fact the person who has now become a facesfriend. (I mention because I've come back to apply the relevant person-specific tag to this poem. ;)