{i've never lied to you and i won't start now}

[kaberett]

I have so many feelings about Still Catch The Tide (song lyrics) that I just Cannot Even.

Like, it comes up on shuffle and I'm suddenly in floods of tears at my desk so bad I can't see the screen.

I haven't got anywhere close to understanding all of why I react this way, but some of it is an abuser owning what they did; and some of it is that it is astonishingly true to my experiences as someone pro-choice on suicide with friends lost down that route; and some of it is hearing it from the other side, that it's okay for me to leave. (I am not actively suicidal and haven't been in a very long time, and it's not that I remember what it feels like - tainted blessing, stubborn curse - but it's still a comfort.)

I never thought that I could hold you forever
Always knew deep down you’d have to go home
I can be grateful for these bright years together
And I know you miss the salt sea foam
If you hurry, you can still catch the tide, my love
If you hurry you can still catch the tide.

Comments

[thefairymelusine]

That's really interesting. (And it is an amazing song). I have been trying to formulate things about it- it hits me in some different areas, but overlapping. (Stuff about power and enchantment, and then yes, the ownership of it). And *hugs* if they are welcome.

[fyreharper]

I haven't the same context-things as you, but those lyrics are allll full of heart-twist. I shall have to see if I can find it to listen to, because, because.

[quirkytizzy]

Something that surprises me no matter how often it happens is the way that, no matter how much healing we do, no matter how much work or distance we do, sometimes that shit just up and smacks us. Hard. It's part of what helps me realize who I am and it's part of the never ending grief that will always be there.

I have to listen to this song. It sounds beautiful.