[poem] Reclamation

[kaberett]

I'd feral haunt the borders of my lands
with wild eyes staring and with bared clenched teeth
to bitter stake my claim to my domain:
I'd tolerate this trespassing no more.

And if I vicious clawed a hand that stretched
in friendship -- to feed or stroke or pet --
then still I'd count my loss less than my gain:
for I'd have shown that I alone here reign.

Yet 'lonely reign' is all too apt a phrase:
I find I'm wearied by the emptiness
that haunts my heart, that permeates my days.
I'm tired of fear; I'm tired of this distress.

I'm safe, I think, to throw open my gates
and to explore that which beyond them waits.

Comments

[kaberett]

[Accidental sonnet in snatched moment of Internet. I think I have a lot of Feelings about form in poetry, some of which will get written down; note the way that this becomes truer to form in the resolution of the sextet, for example. So, er, yes, this could probably stand to be improved, but ~o well~ that can happen later.]

[raze]

This one hits a heck of a chord with me; really well done. Also liked the... uh... poetry stuff to which I am not educated - rhythm and tempo and rhyme scheme.

[kaberett]

I'm really glad it worked for you. Thinking of you. <3

the only response I think I can give: a lazy person's sonnet

[alexseanchai]

I find that I feel much the same.
But past my gates, uncharted lands.
The people there don't know my name.
Fear's comforting, and friendly hands
are unfamiliar to me. I
don't know how safe I'll be outside,
among strange faces, unknown skies.

Re: the only response I think I can give: a lazy person's sonnet

[kaberett]

as;dlfkajsflksajdf yes

Re: the only response I think I can give: a lazy person&#39;s sonnet

[alexseanchai]

If I have reduced you to keysmashing I must have said something good.

[vass]

I like this a lot. The first verse in particular really speaks to me.

It's kind of in dialogue with a song I like by Ani DiFranco (whom I'm currently really mad at), particularly the wistfulness; with the difference that the singer there is always outside, whereas you're defending your territory.

There's something about that last line - the scansion stumbles a little. I went back and counted and wondered "Wait, is that an Alexandrine? That'd be a neat pun," and then I read it aloud a couple of times, and it was plain iambic pentameter, I was just thrown by the stress shift on "that which".

[annalytica]

<3

[calissa]

I'm tired and down with a cold at the moment but have been struck with the desire to write something beautiful to answer this beauty. I expect it's not going to happen, but I wanted to thank you for sharing this. I loved the progression of emotion in this--the fierceness, weariness and hope.