Extremely efficient ways to piss me off

[kaberett]

1. Tell me that my life has "shrunk down to nothing" as a result of chronic pain.

2. Tell me how I feel about my chronic pain.

3. Be so busy telling me how I feel about my chronic pain that you don't notice I'm having a pain spike and keep talking at me through it. Bonus points if it's bad enough that I've shut my eyes and my face and hands have tensed up. Extra bonus points if you pull this off several times.

4. Having directed me to sit in a really inconvenient place in the room, such that I have to twist myself uncomfortably in order to maintain socially-acceptable levels of eye contact, looking in your direction, etc -- tell me that I don't move enough and am insufficiently aware of my body.

5. Tell me that I "shouldn't be in that wheelchair", and our most important goal is to "get [me] out of it".

6. Tell me that I'm taking an extremely "negative and glass-half-empty view" when I repeat to you verbatim discussions about my conditions I have had with the relevant consultant-surgeons. Fuck you, mate, if my gynae has told me that at some stage in the next 5-10 years I'll probably need a bowel resection, you don't get to tell me that's me ~catastrophising~.

7. Patronisingly explain to me in painstaking detail that my background pain is different from the pain I get when I have an ovarian cyst burst. I know this.

8. Tell me that you're not at all interested in my symptoms diary, because all you care about is my activity levels, without determining whether I record activity levels in my symptoms diary.

9. Tell me in great and tedious detail that the effects of overdoing it one day won't show up til the next day, without... establishing whether this is something I know and record.

10. And as a bonus, because this one was actually just funny: get an "oh shit" look when I cheerfully tell you, after all of the above, that I've been engaging in self-led mindfulness-based therapy for several years.

... and so on. And so forth.

THAT, LADIES & GENTS & EVERYBODY ELSE, WAS MY FIRST PAIN CLINIC APPOINTMENT. :D

Comments

[catyak]

Well, it sounds as though it was painful.

D

[kaberett]

:-p

[cxcvi]

You mean your last pain clinic appointment, right?

(Edit: Icon)

[kaberett]

Heh. Alas no - I have a follow-up with a nurse in two weeks' time. On the plus side, all the nurses actually seemed lovely!

[littlebutfierce]

Oh UGH. :/ I am sorry.

[kaberett]

Thank you <3

[pteranodon]

Oh fuck off. Ugh.

[kaberett]

Hey, I might not like him, but it's pretty clear he doesn't care particularly for me either, so I reckon we're quits ;)

[frith_in_thorns]

Is that where they put doctors who're a right pain?

[kaberett]

If so, they're stunningly inefficient at it ;)

[mfb]

Wow, what an awful person!

[kaberett]

... holy shit, I've just realised the reason I'm going "yeah wevs" about this quite so hard is that I have had far, far worse.

... whoops?

[worlds_of_smoke]

Ugh. What the fuck? -offers a hug?-

[kaberett]

Heh, hugs are welcome, but I'd been warned that this particular clinic was a bit... um, idiosyncratic. Like, mostly I wanted a pain clinic referral at all so that I was in the system - I'm going to be moving areas this autumn, if all goes well, so I won't have to put up with him for long!

Fundamentally, my problem with this dude? He was trying to have a bedside manner. The gynae consultant who referred me to him has none whatsoever, and it's fantastic, and means he deals with me in exactly the right ways.

[kaberett]

Thank you, belatedly, for these - I am going through all the comments again and going "yep, okay, other people react with horror and dismay, guess I can be upset about it after all" - so, yes, thank you. ♥

[pipisafoat]

wowee, I just love being told how I feel about everything! and really, #5, really? um, OBVIOUSLY YOU SHOULDN'T USE IT WHEN YOU NEED IT. because that's completely unrelated to potentially overdoing it, as he harped. (seriously just sort of baffled laughing over here. some docs are super impressive. in the unwishedfor ways.)

[kaberett]

NO BUT IT IS OUR LONG-TERM GOAL

I SHOULDN'T START JOGGING STRAIGHT AWAY

BUT I SHOULD BE AIMING FOR IT

... never mind that jogging has always been a problem for my asthma. And latterly for my knee. Which intersecting conditions he glossed over.

... he asked me if I had a problem with anything he said. I did in fact point out, quite firmly, that the wheelchair was not the problem and I was not willing to work towards "getting out of the wheelchair", but I was happy with reframing in terms of "improving my mobility."

... he looked so unimpressed. it was brilliant. >____>

The PITA Principal

[hairyears]

This man has transcended being a mere Pain in the Arse: he should rent his rectum out to furniture removers, for storing Large Things With Corners.

Re: The PITA Principal

[lilysea]

This man has transcended being a mere Pain in the Arse: he should rent his rectum out to furniture removers, for storing Large Things With Corners.

That's a great line!

[lilysea]

Oh, ye fishes and little gods!

I've seen that pain management Dr! or his twin!

*has so much sympathy and empathy for you*

Don't know if my bad pain Dr experience will make you feel better or worse, but here it is if you want it. ^_^

"So, I've been waiting for 1 year, 1 month, 19 days to see a chronic pain specialist through Royal Perth Hospital.

I saw him this afternoon and he was a complete judgemental, sanctimonious, self-righteous arsehole. :(

He was judgemental about my marital/relationship status and the fact that I'd had a sterilisation without having had children first;

He was judgemental about the fact that I wasn't in full-time work;

He said "It doesn't matter what you've been diagnosed [by rheumatologists and neurologists] with...that doesn't matter"

He told me Fibromyalgia didn't exist (Um, 90% of rheumatologists and neurologists would disagree with you! The Australian Government is funding research into Fibromyalgia as we speak!)

He told me the genetic condition which causes my fatigue, ***which shows up on a blood test*** was unimportant and irrelevant;

He completely dismissed my extreme fatigue "Oh, you'll feel a bit sore if you increase your exercise, but that's life";

He blasted me for lack of exercise "I have 80 and 90 year old patients who do more exercise than you do!"
Me: "Well, they have more energy than me."
Him (utterly dismissive): "No they don't!!!!!"

He told me that my plan to see a highly-regarded GP who specialises in nutrition and nutritional supplements for people with severe fatigue and chronic illness was "inappropriate" because what was important was losing weight, not increasing my energy levels.

He dismissed my extremely (sometimes excruciatingly) painful physiotherapy treatments as "just massage".

He was dismissive of my (OT sanctioned, remember) need for a wheelchair "If you give someone a stick, they'll end up in a wheelchair, if you give them a wheelchair they'll end up in bed, if you put them in bed, they'll end up dead"

He told me I didn't have any real problems, it wasn't like I had had a stroke or a spinal injury or an amputation."

[kaberett]

Wow, they really ARE twins - I also got the "you'll be a bit sore" line, and "we need to build up your stamina" -- I couldn't quite face telling him about my endo-related fatigue, because I could not see ANY way that would go well. (Somehow I don't think "I need to sleep for three days solid if I do anything more enthusiastic than walk to the shops and back" is entirely a stamina issue, given that I used to be able to do Serious Hiking and only stopped going to the gym regularly when it started having obvious negative knock-on effects...)

[cereta]

WTF? Man, doctors can just be ASSES.

[kaberett]

YES.

Like, I can kiiiiiiiind of see his approach to things working for most people? ... I am not most people: I really, really like knowing, in great detail, all of the SCIENCE about what is happening to my body. And... being critically unable to adjust his bedside manner to accommodate that is kind of unfortunate? Especially because I know he can communicate in the ways I do best with, because he would turn around and talk sense at the registrar sitting in on the appointment... rather than muttering about "injections at some point in the future maybe" rather than just saying "epidurals are something we could consider; they work like this". And. Just. Ugh. I'd told him I'd taken chemistry up to the end of my second year. He knew I was a scientist. Just. Why. Why. Why could he not respond appropriately to my clearly-stated desire to be told things in words that were as long as possible? (I did not put it quite like that; I made myself rather clearer.)

[untonuggan]

*offers tea and biscuits for comfort*

[kaberett]

Thank you - that is super-helpful and greatly appreciated ♥

[jamfish]

Uh. Goodness. I am 100 percent with the other comments here. What.

[kaberett]

THANK YOUUUUUUUU

[shehasathree]

Oh jeez. I hope you didn't have to pay for that delightful experience!

[kaberett]

Heh, I'm UK-based so it was at least NHS and free - there wasn't the insult of financial ouches added to injury!

[shehasathree]

Hope you don't mind, i've added you to my circle etc. Have seen you around lately at highfantastical's lj, which is always a good rec. :)
You don't have EDS by any chance, do you?

[kaberett]

Mmmmno, probably not. Joint hypermobility syndrome, but not terribly severely, and while I'm aware that's increasingly considered part of a continuum with a particular subtype of EDS, I don't have any of the other markers. My main ~physical~ condition is endometriosis; I'm also a couple of flavours of crazy (like this post didn't give that one away ;) but I don't tend to somatise that.

And you are very welcome to have added me to your circle! I shall do so back immediately. It is lovely to meet you :-)

[naath]

Yeeeesh, dude is supposed to be making the pain go away... even if he was the most successful pain-relieving person in the world ever how does he think that his pain-relieving skillz would translate to "curing your underling conditions".

Also, who lets these people practice medicine?

[sophiacatherine]

Ugh. I've had similar pain clinic experiences. I refuse to be referred to them now - my GP is finally willing to prescribe what I need, and pain clinic caused me so much stress that I couldn't deal with it (and they certainly didn't help with my pain). I wish you much better clinics/appointments in future!