[knitting] two things

[kaberett]

I am presently in the market for convertible mittens/arm warmers/... primarily for Admin: the LRP purposes. Also, I am picky.

Consequently I spent some of this afternoon (while A was napping on me) scrolling through fifteen pages of patterns on Rav, culminating in the frustrating experience of finding three different variations on a pattern I'm interested in, all by the same designer, none of which are available online any more. (The Wayback Machine will get me to the pages where I can click the "buy" button, but no further. The designer has rav messages turned off. I have left a forlorn comment on one of the patterns, and messaged the person with the project marked as started and finished in January 2024 to ask if they have a secret source that would let me pay the designer money.)

Relatedly I have been reminding myself of the state of the art on plant fibres that are good for cables (still "none") and, also, contemplating asking someone with An Appropriate Stash whether I can put some of their alpaca on my face to check it's still bad. In the event that alpaca is still bad, the problem reduces from "go hunting for reversible cable patterns, I SUPPOSE" to "ugh, fine, I can reverse engineer this and just do it all in rib" despite the fact that I'm decidedly out of practice at same.

But. One of the places I wound up while doing these checks was a KnitPal blog post. It's not particularly exciting but it's a fairly solid intro, and while I might disagree with their choices about infographic design I do respect that they've clearly put thought into making them.

... AND THEN YOU GET TO THE LAST FOUR PARAGRAPHS. For maximum effect (insofar as that's possible given this introduction) I recommend reading in situ, but I excerpt the relevant section below.

What makes KnitPal wool so special?

KnitPal’s merino yarn mainly comes from Peru. The merino sheep are raised by small farmers in the Andes of Southern Peru — at an altitude of 11 500 — 16 000 ft above sea level. At this height, temperatures can differ by more than 50 degrees in one day. For this reason, the sheep grow dense coats of fleece that are not only extremely durable but also has a high thermal quality. KnitPal supports women-led farms buy buying their yarn from them. But that’s not the thing that makes KnitPal’s yarns so very special, and neither is it that they are biodegradable (and therefore doesn’t leave a nasty footprint!); it is also the way in which they are hand-dyed with love and happiness.

Based on Dr. Masaru Emoto’s recent research, the shape and molecular structure of water changes with positive messages, prayer, and music. At KnitPal we are truly inspired to bring happy and healthy energies and only good feelings to the yarn that we’re sending to your home.

In order to be able to do this, we soak the yarn in warm water the night before we dye the yarn. While we do this, songs full of love, gratitude, and happiness are played. Lately, our music of choice is some of The Beatles’ classic songs, including “All You Need Is Love” and “Come together”.

When it comes to the actual dyeing process, it is a labor of love to get each skein dyed to perfectly match your team’s colors because we know how important that is to you. You can’t support your team in faded colors! We test the color a few times before applying it to the yarn and we make sure that we use the established Pantone and CMYK systems to ensure the colors are matched perfectly every time.

HOMEOPATHIC BEATLES YARN. OUT OF NOWHERE. I CANNOT EVEN. MY EVENS ARE UNABLE TO CAN.

Comments

[madgastronomer]

Noooooooooooooooooo.

what. why. how. what. Beatles?

That's not why you soak yarn before dyeing, and dye lots are not going to be perfect. Yes, those are the most minor things. I cannot comprehend the others well enough to object. My mind just rejects them.

[kaberett]

RIGHT.

[alexseanchai]

I'm for people being able to sell $AnyGoodOrService with magical enhancement, with a legal disclaimer that the magical enhancement is for entertainment only if that's necessary in either the buyer's or seller's jurisdiction, and I zero percent blame any jurisdiction for making such a disclaimer legally required

(you know, so long as it is equally required of anyone selling $AnyGoodOrService enhanced by Christian prayer or other locally-dominant-paradigm thing that it's easy to scam people with, for the same reasons it's easy for either or both of buyer and seller to conclude it didn't work for no clear reason, to conclude it didn't work for some clear reason that's the doing of the other person, to conclude either of those when it is working it's just going slower or in a different manner than expected, or to conclude it did work when it isn't and won't)

and that does sound like a standard way to magically enhance a thing; specifying Beatles music is a bit odd but it's also far from the weirdest example of how to get oneself in the mood to put out the energy one intends to put into one's work

but I'm also for citing one's sources and for keeping ad copy to advertisements and product pages

[kaberett]

Magical enhancement: all fine and good.

"Dr. Masaru Emoto’s recent research [claims] the shape and molecular structure of water changes with positive messages, prayer, and music": NO IT DOESN'T. NO IT ISN'T. THIS IS WHOLLY FALSIFIABLE. and also the man died in 2014!!! so even by 2019 describing said (uncited!!!) "research" as "recent" is... questionable.

[simont]

Examining water under a microscope after three hours of exposure to Beatles albums reveals a high density of micrometre-scale yellow submarines.

[msilverstar]

It's the juxtaposition of prayer and music with Pantone and CMYK that cracked me up! This is a strange timeline.

[azurelunatic]

does WHAT with positive messages, prayer, and music?!

[rmc28]

OH WOW.

(Also thanks no thanks for the Beatles earworms)

[ewt]

I can check whether I have any alpaca in my stash still.

I really want to try qiviut but it is extremely pricey (and rightly so) and I am too much of a dabbler to justify the cost.

[davidgillon]

*boggle*

It's not often you get the chance to say: Matter doesn't work like that!

[lnr]

Pantone-matched homeopathic Andean Beatles yarn with no nasty footprints. I also cannot.

[forests_of_fire]

I don't care if this yarn legitimately turns everything made from it into gold. That sort of ridiculous shit is an immediate "nope. fuck off." from me.

[vass]

.......

[frith_in_thorns]

I should have some left-over alpaca from my wedding shawl (technically it's alpaca/silk blend), want me to bring it to LARP?

[kaberett]

Thank you but no - alas I know I'm allergic to silk!

[fyreharper]

W o w yeah that sure was a sudden left turn off a cliff there XD

[fyreharper]

Also: I did not know reversible cables were a thing one could do! Am not yet sure how I will use this new knowledge (for evil XD ) but I am Intrigued and delighted to have learned of this!