kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2023-03-25 11:50 pm
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today's moment of serendipity

Lo these many years ago -- I think I was in sixth form, so 2006-2008ish -- I picked up a copy of mauve from a charity shop (probably the Oxfam bookshop on Sidney Street?).

Today, lo these many years later, I finally! caught up to the present day! of A Slob Comes Clean! which means that I can now stop dedicating most of my reading cope to that particular completionist digression, and can redirect to this year's planned Reading Project, namely "work my way through the stack of hard-copy books that probably don't actually meet my threshold for Want To Keep (In Hard Copy) at least to the extent of establishing that I no longer care about them and should Just return them to a charity shop*, and so I have once again picked up mauve, having got a whole five pages into it in late February.

Today I also made a desultory attempt to find out of there's anyone other than Ede & Ravenscroft who sell Imperial gowns* and in the process discovered that the reason they are quite such an egregious shade of that particular purple is -- and you can of course see exactly where this is going -- a specific commemoration of Perkin's mauve.

I am mildly peeved that (1) we apparently really don't actually wear hats for graduation, and (2) the purple velvet Tudor bonnet with white cord and tassel is, contra wikipedia, something only recipients of Higher Doctorates are entitled to. Upon my own head it shalln't, alas, be.

But: I really am charmed by this unexpected confluence, and it is delightful leavening for the ... something ... of bureaucracy. I think this metaphor has got away from me? I think perhaps it might be Time For Bed.

* They provide hire garments for the actual graduation ceremony, and deduct the cost of hire -- £58 -- from the purchase price, provided you make the purchase within 28 days following your actual graduation ceremony! They are also out of stock of the relevant items, and do not expect their stock to be replenished until the end of the summer, oh and also you can't place pre- or back-orders. They have confirmed, after I asked in very small words, that they really do mean that because they do not have stock I will not only have to pay £58 to hire the necessary accoutrements for the graduation ceremony, I will also have to pay full price with no discount if I make a purchase. I have not actually cancelled my attendance at the graduation ceremony in a fit of pique -- yet -- but I am going to be making a phone call on Monday in order to Ask Some Questions.

kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2023-03-23 11:08 pm
Entry tags:

digital & analogue

This evening I have been attempting to order robes for graduation. Graduation is going to be on the third of May, at the Royal Albert Hall. Some time ago, I came to the conclusion that I really do want the Ritual and Ceremony to make it all feel a bit more real, because my thesis submission was digital and my viva was digital and my corrections were digital and none of it quite felt real. The sheer implausibility of my corrections all being voluntary did not help this sense.

(I say "Some time ago, I came to the conclusion": you will be shocked to hear that there was a lot of subsequent dithering, but when the deadline came I did actually book.)

Part of the amusement is that the ceremony itself is entirely theatrical: unlike my other degrees I did not need to participate in this performance, either in person or in absentia, in order to have the doctorate conferred. It was all made official on the first of October in, good grief, 2021. It is a frippery, and I am amused that it is indulging in the frippery that I am choosing to use as a waymarker.

The other bit of the amusement is the fact that a requirement of booking my gown & hood is providing a copy of my degree certificate.

And it was only at this point -- the preparation for the culmination of this process I started pretty close to bang on a decade ago, if we take into account when I interviewed -- that it dawned on me that my degree certificate is the one part of this entire rigmarole that has, from my perspective, only ever been purely analogue.

Which is how I found myself taking a digital photograph of a piece of physical paper in order to complete my online booking for the event at which I am going to walk unnecessarily across a stage for the purpose of making more concrete in my own head the fact that a huge quantity of digital work constituted the completion of my Doktorarbeit.

(And then, of course, the Ede & Ravenscroft online form Did Not Work, so tomorrow I get to phone them. WHAT, I ask you, is the point! of a digital age! if I still have to TALK TO PEOPLE on the TELEPHONE using my FACE NOISES! But this, too, feels like a fittingly drawn-out conclusion...)

kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
2021-10-01 10:48 pm
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[academia] all official!

I have, at time of writing, been really and truly and properly and officially Dr Kaberett for twenty-two hours and forty-eight minutes, almost all of which I have spent Having A Migraine. (I have also made some more gradual progress on the job application, which is nice, including sending a Very Autistic E-mail to the Royal Society.)

I am sort of enjoying the turning-of-the-seasons-esque thing where I started the calendar year out with my first migraine of this New World Order back on the first of January, and now at the start of the academic year on the first of October I'm slogging my way out of the tail end of another!
kaberett: A series of phrases commonly used in academic papers, accompanied by humourous "translations". (science!)
2021-08-24 11:05 am
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Dr me!

And, in an utterly surreal turn of events, no corrections.
kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
2021-08-21 11:38 pm
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[academia] mild ongoing amusement

One of the things I apparently Need To Prepare for my viva is a short (5-10 minute) overview of what I've done and why. The idea, as best I can tell, is that this (1) demonstrates that I am actually familiar with the content of my thesis and can summarise it, and (2) is intended to be a nice easy introduction to get me relaxed and talking.

I, meanwhile, am the kind of autistic who instantly freezes up over this, because!!! that's why I wrote the abstract!!! and the plain language summary!!! and the introduction!!! and the entire final chapter!!!!! Did I? do it wrong? is it Inadequate? what did I leave Out of the Writings that I need to Say? How In The Heck am I supposed to pitch this, given that it's to subject experts who have at least nominally READ the THESIS??? what! register! do! I! use!

... so anyway I'm going to be spending some of tomorrow outlining and rehearsing that again, probably, in the hopes of not having the "easy opening" trip me up catastrophically...
kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
2021-06-04 11:47 pm

reflections in a thesis swamp

I have been thinking a lot, lately, about how somewhere along the line I shifted from "terrified that my supervisors would know everything I was doing was wrong" to "willing to tell them they're wrong and then go find the data to back myself up"; from imagining my viva making me shut down with panic to, honestly, kind of looking forward to it.

I was scared of my supervisors -- the primary authority figures in this part of my life -- thinking poorly of me. I was terrified, similarly, of examiners-as-authority-figures thinking poorly of me.

Put in those terms, I think one facet of what's shifted is that I have, really and truly, started to view my supervisors and examiners as my equals. And from there, bearing in mind the very human need for ritual, all of a(n apparent) sudden I seem to be thinking about the viva less as an inherently hostile environment where I will inevitably be set up to fail (I don't think my trauma is terribly disguised, here) to... a rite-of-passage, that recognises and -- through a particular social alchemy -- realises that I, too, am an authority figure.

I'm very curious about how the ripples from the event will wind up affecting the rest of my self-concept and self-confidence.
kaberett: Stylized volcano against a stormy sky, with streams of lava running down its sides. (volcano)
2021-05-27 10:24 pm

and then: volcanoes

Okay, so, the other day I got linked to a tumblr post about volcanoes, to which my response was:
kaberett: oh goodness okay so I need to clarify
kaberett: that that post is wrong about the physics
kaberett: and rising plumes are not (for the most part) liquid, and nor is the mantle
kaberett: but that aside
kaberett: (whereas ~half the core IS actually liquid, which is slightly different to the core being "semifluid")
kaberett: (and also that's not the whole story of our current theory of How Plumes Initiate, which involves "slab graveyards", but I will stop there for now ;) )

... whereupon people went "NO WAIT WHAT SLAB GRAVEYARDS???" and I did a special-interest infodump, transcribed and slightly cleaned up below the cut for your potential amusement.

Read more... )
kaberett: Toph making a rock angel (toph-rockangel)
2021-05-14 08:59 pm
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[thesis swamp] AAAAAAAAAAAH

a screenshot of a webpage announcing success in uploading my thesis

[A screenshot of an internal Imperial webpage, featuring the magic words "Your thesis has been submitted successfully."]

And then after that I e-mailed my data appendices to the appropriate address, because why would a science-engineering-technology-and-medicine college want to make it straightforward and seamless to supply all necessary files alongside thesis submission--

-- which is to say: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
kaberett: Reflections of a bare tree in river ice in Stockholm somehow end up clad in light. (tree-of-light)
2020-12-01 11:09 pm
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find of the day

A conference abstract entitled The geochemical composition of frost flowers in the Alaskan Arctic and their role in mercury deposition.

(Today I have mostly been wrestling with LaTeX, after A found me subfiles when I was having a panic last night; I need to unfuck page numbering and of course there's Always More Words one could write and also I need to work out how to make stable references to the appendix that's going to exist as a spreadsheet, but -- the skeleton of the thing and the introduction is now in situ, and I maybe cried a bit about being someone who is really actually in the process of making a thesis.)
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2020-11-21 11:59 pm

[academia] thesis thesis thesiiiiis

Progress: first draft of introduction sent to supervisor, who will doubtless be underwhelmed by it, but whatever. And: I have sorted through chapter 2, rearranged everything to be in I-think-the-right-place, learned some more Stuff about wrangling formatting in LibreOffice, and Made A List of what still needs to happen to it.
kaberett: Sketch of a "colourless, hamsterish"  animal having a paddy. (anxiety creature)
2020-11-11 10:27 pm

[academangst] in which i am BETRAYED by Cadbury's chocolate animals

  • the biscuits??? Are a different shape???
  • and contain... cocoa???
  • and. do not Cronch. but are instead Sandy.
  • meanwhile the chocolate layer is TOO THIN
  • but the packet illustration still shows the Correct Friends (which is honestly the only reason I'm not entirely convinced I made their previous, Good, incarnation up entirely)

I have forsworn them in Disgust and made them Adam's Problem. I have retreated instead to my hoard of chocolate fingers, and am also making Steady Progress through the batch of cookies stashed in the freezer.

a WAILING and a GNASHING of TEETH.
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2020-11-05 10:29 pm

[housekeeping] a quick note--

-- to say that I have, very unusually for me, not been managing to go through my reading page, like, at all, for... some reason... so I am not at all up to date on what is going on for you and I suspect I am unlikely to be, reliably, for The Duration.

(Absolute hard hand-in date is end-January, but I really want to get done by end-Dec.)

I am going to try some things to make it more manageable but in the meantime please know that I appreciate you and am hoping good things for you, and if there are things you want me to know comments on DW posts are currently probably the best way to get in touch, honestly, unless you know that I'm responding to IMs from you (eventually) already. (I'm... categorically not managing e-mails either, for the most part, which is somewhat awkward.)

Much affection. <3
kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
2020-11-04 10:51 pm
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[thesis swamp] c h o c o l a t e

we have officially reached the stage of proceedings in which my Thesis Nest contains chocolate fingers and also chocolate animals. for cocoa-flavoured Sugar that Cronch. the current nominal exchange rate is one biccit per half paragraph of words or paper of data transcription.

(I finished a big chunk of writing yesterday, so that gets to sit and stew while I do some more data wrangling and also try to wrap my head around restructuring a chapter I've just got feedback on and, also, drawing a cartoon. I have... opinions... about scientific illustration and I am really not sure I am up to Creating A Graphic I don't despise, and for bonus points the first step is probably "look back through a bunch of papers I know have this kind of picture in them and try to quantify what I like versus what I hate about each of them", which sounds like prime procrastination material...)
kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
2020-10-20 11:56 pm
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[academia] the view from the thesis swamp

gosh but I've done a lot of work during the course of this thesis.

This observation brought to you by having spent this evening going back through every single spreadsheet from every single instrument session, for the purposes of compiling everything up for some of my Final Figures...
kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
2020-10-04 11:59 pm
Entry tags:

vital functions are suspended

... due to thesis swamp, but -- while it's extremely frustrating that my brain is still doing the thing of "waiting until the day before the thing's due in to cough up a coherent narrative structure", on the upside it in fact did cough up a coherent narrative, so I'm now feeling much better about chapter 5.

Onward into chapter 6 I dive...
kaberett: Stylized volcano against a stormy sky, with streams of lava running down its sides. (volcano)
2020-09-26 11:51 pm
Entry tags:

thesis swamp thesis swamp thesis swaaamp

I am thisclose to just using ß as an abbreviation everywhere in my notes and filenames that I have to mention subduction zones, which, currently, is a lot.
kaberett: a watercolour painting of an oak leaf floating on calm water (leaf-on-water)
2020-09-25 11:44 pm

some good things make a post

  • The equinox has passed, and I'm now spending most of my waking hours in slipper socks again, as well as some of my napping ones. Warm feet yes.
  • A spent a bunch of Wednesday-I-think evening Fiddling Around With Electronics, and now we have a bluetooth speaker that can be hooked up to the bat detector such that the latter can be left outside the other side of a closed door leaving the former to Chitter at us when we should be looking outside for BAT. It turns out they are active much later than we'd quite realised, being as they're quite difficult to actually spot once it's actually dark.
  • Supervisor meeting today a combination of cheerful and useful. I have managed over the past week to actually work out what I'm trying to say with these last two chapters, or at least what topics I'm trying to address, and while I'm still shuffling sections around I'm mostly managing to remember that all the thinking I'm doing about it is useful thinking, and the back-and-forth is in fact progress even if it doesn't look like much.
  • A Made A Request yesterday for Quiche Dinner, which I never get around to making just-for-myself, which meant that since I was making pastry I had Might As Well make enough to make a dessert pie as well, which means that for the past two nights we've had cheese-(allotment)tomato-(allotment)onion quiche, served with boiled potatoes and parsley (tastes like home) and, variously, more Cosse Violette and more roasted cherry tomatoes; with apple-and-(allotment)jostaberry pie with optional home-made vanilla ice cream for dessert.
  • I bought a pot of Supermarket Basil in the last-but-one (or was it the one before that?) grocery order; I soaked it in water, separated the plants out, and dumped them in a trough with some more space and a lot of (home-made!) compost. They appear to have mostly survived and taken, and I am crossing my fingers for managing to keep this batch alive a little longer than I usually do.
kaberett: A very small snail crawls along the edge of a blue bucket, in three-quarters profile with one eyestalk elegantly extended. (tiny adventure snail)
2020-09-09 11:19 pm

thesis swamp thesis swamp thesis swamp

by which I mean: ecologically diverse, full of potential fascinating diversions, and also my boots are full of water and I'm Concerned about the Hypothetical Crocodile stalking me out of all proportion with its actual probability.
kaberett: Toph making a rock angel (toph-rockangel)
2020-04-21 11:02 pm

diarish

Thing that is nice: I am mostly, currently, getting to horn practice o'clock after dinner, starting around eight, which is to say, just about as bat o'clock rolls around. I get to sit in the study and make squawking music and watch A Bat happen. It is lovely.

Another thing that is nice: I have spent the afternoon pivoting from "ugh but I don't WANT to read this paper from 1997" (the year I finally learned how to tie a shoelaces, via a lot of concerted effort) to "as a geologist I get to gleefully declare that I am CORRECT about the fundamental nature of the world and it's even ACCURATE (and now I've done that maths I suppose I'd better read the paper)".

I'm still see-sawing wildly between solid trust in my own models and towering impostor syndrome, of course, but it's so satisfying that every time I go "oh heck I didn't consider this constraint--" my beautiful model just. satisfies it. without even needing any massaging. Almost as if I'm right, or something.