kaberett: Clyde the tortoise from Elementary, crawling across a map, with a red tape cross on his back. (elementary-emergency-clyde)
kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2015-08-28 09:53 pm

Working definitions of forgiveness

What I'm feeling towards here, I think, is something along the lines of willingness to assume good faith, and trust in minimally adequate competence.

To some extent that's a bare minimum for reconciliation, but I think that while it's necessary for said it's not sufficient; for reconciliation I'd need a more active than passive motivation, which is not the case for this definition I'm proposing. It's a slightly more formalised version of "you won't hurt me again" (as equal parts prediction and instruction; the saying makes it so), I think, in a way that lets me sit with and accept past hurt without requiring me to cross-reference all current patterns against it in a hypervigilant attempt to avert (perceived) disaster.
kriegor: (xan)

[personal profile] kriegor 2015-08-28 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I've always wanted separate words for private-scope and public-scope forgiveness, as the concept, ontop of being bastardized and used as a silencing tool, is far too vague IMO (lending to its exploitation). There is a HUGE difference between 'I forgive you for my own sake, but bye probably' and 'I forgive you under the mutual understanding that shit will never happen again'.
Edited 2015-08-28 21:16 (UTC)