kaberett | A love meme, in words & deeds

Please.

I love you for thinking of this.

<3

You are so, so brave, and you inspire me to seek compassion and to be better.

Funny how that's a good way to phrase how I feel about you.

(I forget if I said on DW yet? I went to the courthouse and handed in the name change paperwork. I'm not sure I could have done if you hadn't been brave in much this way first.)

You mentioned, in your tada list, and -- yes, I have been too numb to comment much, but, yes, I am so glad for you, and I have high hopes for soondate and More Rightness in the world. xx

:)

You make the spaces you are in better, with great intention and also by being yourself. You take the time to examine the world around you for things that could be improved, and then you go and do them, often.

I agree with this comment also.

What Azz said.

<333

Thank you for doing this.

You're welcome.

You are unfailingly kind. Whenever I get to talk to you or read something you've written, the world feels brighter. Rocks and bees make me smile, because they make me think of you <3

oh oh oh I am so delighted that there is that positive association for you with common objects -- I get the small bursts of joy, with some things, and I am so glad I can pay it on <3

Mostly I'm short on words today. I love you, and I know this isn't news.

But for me, you haven't just made things seem or feel more possible. You've helped me through hell, and I hope I'm still helping you some too.

You are. <3

You know, I hadn't thought about it in exactly those words, but you really do make things seem more possible: by thinking them through, by examining the outcomes, by writing about it all. I probably can't top that.

Thank you.

oh -- oh, I am so glad to know <3

I always smile when I see a comment or post is from you.

Oh gosh, I very much love hearing from you or seeing you around as well, and am a little bit stuck in the mindset that I'm not Cool Enough for you to notice me (despite the fact that that's patently doing you a massive disfavour!), so. ♥

You are kind and generous and thoughtful and I'm grateful you exist.

<3

I love that you keep trying.
I love your honesty in describing your struggles.

<333

Thank you. It's very good to know that that's valued, that it helps other people, because it is frequently hard (less so these days, but nonetheless), and knowing that it helps is incredibly good for me.

I love your courage, your patience in explaining things, and your kindness in thinking of things like this meme.

♥

Also your tenacity in dealing with Stuff You Have Been Dealt has encouraged me to take some of my own Stuff more seriously and to treat myself with more compassion. Thank you for that, too.

this comment very much.

I am very glad to help. ♥

I am glad. <3

I love how you look at things, figure out what makes them fit or not fit.

(People tell me I write stuff that helps them make sense of the world. You're one of the people I read whose posts do that for me, reliably, and often about stuff I know less about, so it's even better.)

I cried in astonished gratitude. I don't recognise myself in the mirror you hold up to me, but I am trying to learn to.

You make so many things better. I love you a lot.

<333 Thank you, so much, for saying.

I like the honesty with which you write about your experiences. Even your To Do Lists are interesting to read.

And the space you make for others, in creating a post like this.

Ha! I am tickled that the todo lists are interesting. And I am very, very glad that my efforts to hold and create space have effects that rae felt in the world. <3

I'm not very good at putting things into words right now, but I want to say thanks for doing this anyway. I think I needed it.

♥ You're very welcome. It felt right.

You are flat-out awesome. I am endlessly admiring of your determination to work your way through even the most difficult things, your resilience and your compassion. How willing you are to spend spoons on other people when everything is already difficult for you. (See: medical advocacy! And so many other things.)

I love you, I really do.

I love you too. <3

(I feel the need to note that medical advocacy is generally net-positive on spoons for me -- but, nonetheless, thank you thank you thank you <3)

You are such a deeply thoughtful and ethical person. You make the world better.

oh goodness, given how much I admire your deliberation and care, that -- wow. <3

On which topic, more to follow. xx

I love you for your self-analysis, which has prompted me to so many valuable insights into my own condition, for your good sense and advocacy (the wheelchair guide!), for your tenacious survival in the face of life's fuckwittery, and for your enthusiasms - birbs! rocks! art! poetry!

♥

I keep being so, so surprised that people think of me as intense and intensely myself, and it's wonderful every time I remember. Thank you -- and I'm very glad that I'm helpful, and very glad that you enjoy me.

<3

I value everything you do to sustain community here on Dreamwidth. It is important and useful.

♥ I am glad.

You have an honesty and openness that is both compassionate and bracing. You're kind, and hospitable, and fun to be around.

<333 Thank you.

This feels like an acknowledgement that I'm not always comfortable or easy, but a statement that I am nonetheless valued and worthwhile, and... recognition of the value of thorns, and *handflap*

Thank you for starting this. ♥ Just the right time. I love you for your self-reflection and honesty, your deliberation, your supportiveness.

It occurred to me, all of a sudden, that it felt like a right thing to do. ♥

Thank you. <3

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You are wonderful and I love hearing what you have to say and I am just happy to know you. Thank you for your continued existence.

You are immensely welcome. <3 I am so glad you enjoy me.

I love how you think and act, and how you keep writing out the steps so people can see. The daring and patience you show in showing up and being visible, again and again, letting other people know what is possible and who else is like them or unlike them. The way you hold space. The way you take care, both in the sense of tending and in the sense of caution. And how you write and science and code. I feel very lucky to know you.

crying in astonished gratitude at the self you reflect to me <3

You add so much to my life. I'm very glad you lit a candle for my brother last week.

You're welcome. I'm honoured to have commemorated him; and I'm very glad, likewise, that you are in my life, on which more anon. xx

The way you write about your life gives me hope for mine, even when I'm starting with none. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Again: crying with astonished gratitude at the self you reflect back to me. I am so, so glad I can help. I am so glad that the painful awkward vulnerability is of use; it often feels incredibly self-indulgent, but. Well. I keep doing it because of this. <3

I love you, not for any one thing, but for yourself and our long friendship.

<3 I love you too. On which more to follow anon.

You are an excellent mentor and friend, and I would not be where I am now without your help in dealing with difficult situations.

<3

I am delighted to be of use.

For the worst hippos, for the oldest rock, for always being patient with me <3

<333 I am delighted that my enthusiasms bring you joy. Patience is a gift freely offered.

What a wonderful idea! Thanks for spreading love and caring!!!

You are very very welcome -- it just, all of a sudden, felt very much like A Right Thing To Do, and I thing I had capacity for hosting.

Thank you for doing this.

You're very welcome. I am glad to be able to create & curate this space; it seemed like A Right Thing To Do, under the circumstances. <3

Thank you for being the open hand that stays there. This is coming at such a necessary time. ♥

You are very welcome (in all senses); it seemed like a right thing to do. ♥

thank you for this :)

You are welcome, in all senses. <3

I love you for (many things including) your generosity of self - of ideas and skills and time and caring.

<333

It is a joy to know that I can help.

you are awesome. You have real commitment to being a better person and learning from your mistakes, and that's inspiring.

<333 Thank you, so much, for recognising me.

Being with you while you make sense of the world and deal with things helps me also make sense of the world and deal with things. Also, you make me feel welcomed and wanted even when you don't say or do anything, just by existing. You're one of those people I honestly think the world doesn't deserve but really needs. ♥

You are welcomed and wanted, and I love you, and I am so glad I can help. <3

I love you, too. I want to also make you feel welcomed and wanted (because you are!) and to help you however and whenever I can. Tell me what you need, and I will be there if I can!

<3 <3 <3 <3

I don't know what to say here, but you keep being you and you keep sharing it, widely and intensely, and that is a gift.

I am still astonished at having access to intensity, at all; thank you for recognising it. ♥

You're a really wonderful person, and you help me be brave. <333

oh gosh that is an immensely high compliment, and I am honoured <3

I admire your tenacity, and your determination to know yourself and the world around you better.

Thank you. <3

I can't get even partly adequate words for how much I admire you. Words and deeds: so many times I've seen you create and maintain spaces where other people can support eachother and be a community. This extremely timely and well-moderated love meme, of course, but DW volunteering and

vaginapagina and Lashings and the way you moderate your journal so that a huge spectrum of people feel safe to converse there. You're an amazing educator, whether it's the teaching that's actually part of your job or your sex education volunteering or explaining how to navigate the medical system as well as explaining to the medical system what it's like not to be their default idea of a patient. I think that's part of the same thing, in a way: you make it safe for people to learn from eachother as well as teaching them. Just lately your posts about DBT work have been really enlightening, and that fits in with lots of your other posts where you make your learning and your visibility into powerful ways to help other people.

Thank you for your part in helping save my partner's ass. The emotional labor, the flagging up things in all directions, the patient listening, the research... all of it. As my partner played a vital role in my health, so you played -- and continue to play -- a vital role in my partner's well-being.

You enable others to be kinder to themselves and to one another. I strive toward the clarity of self-perception that you possess.

You! You have been in my life for such a very long time, and I have loved seeing you become ever more yourself. I love how analytical you are, I love your determination, I love your optimism. I love your bravery and your honesty, both with yourself and with others.

And - you were a rock for me when I was making some very difficult decisions and living through some very hard times, and I don't have the words for what a difference you both made for me and continue to make for me.

Me?

I am endlessly grateful for and impressed by all the work you do to build community among Dreamwidth volunteers, in the face of frequent silence and overwhelm; I am so, so grateful that you are here and that you hold us together, and I am so grateful for how much you care.

You always share the best tweets in IRC.

Your grasp of wordplay is second to pun.

Occasionally I pundit, but you've nailed it:

pauamma transcends the pundamentals.

I don't know you adequately. I don't mean to appreciate that you're around: I don't need to know much for that!

I don't always join in the news discussion and I'm sure coming from different places, but yeah, you drop good stuff.

I don't know you well, but you're a voice of helpfulness on #dreamwidth(-dev) and on

dw_dev, where I always keep meaning to reply to the volunteer threads you start.

IYDMMA, what is your nick on #dreamwidth?

♥

You are painfully fearfully honest and vulnerable. You live and embody take the weakest thing in you, and then beat the bastards with it. You are so, so brave, and you inspire me to seek compassion and to be better.

♥!

What Kab said.

When I read your posts it's so clear that being a good person is so important to you. And you clearly are.

Your words and ideas make me want to be better and inspirint, too. Thank you.

*\o/*

♥

You are good and inspiring and brave. Thank you.

♥!

Your determination is something I stand in awe of. The way you keep going and keep creating and believing and dreaming even in the face of incredibly tough circumstances. And your commitment to tell diverse, representative stories.

♥

That means so much to me right now. Thank you.

You work things through with thoroughness; you see and believe that things could be better, and you work towards that.

These are things I aspire to, yes. ♥

I love you for your determination, your self-reflection, your unflinching honesty. And also your support for others, your will to keep on giving.

That means so much to me. ♥♥♥

I kind of adore how open you are. It is wonderful and lovely and I am so pleased to know you and have you around. Because yes, you are a good thing.

Thank you. ♥

Just over-awed by your determination in the face of adversity.

The other choice is giving up. I won't.

♥

I admire your commitment to being the best and most authentic person that you can be, even in the face of all your opposition.

♥!

I admire your courage to look all the fuckery of the world in the eye and say, "yeah, not going to lie down for that". And I'm pretty sure it terrifies you, but you keep standing.

Keep standing.

I am, in fact, fucking terrified, and the only reason I'm not curled under a pile of blankets right now is my bedroom's too warm for that (at least with these pajamas on), but yeah. ♥

You are so brave and so much stronger than I think you give yourself credit for and I'm so happy to have you in my life.

*_*

You are vivid and determined and have a strong moral compass.

Thank you.

I like reading your journal because you think aloud, and I learn something from watching the process of the way you work through things. Whether it's something complicated and daunting about finding a way to be who you really should be against opposition, or just how you will plan out your day. Also you wrote some really good poems immediately after the election result, so, thank you for those.

♥!

Thanks for doing this.

LIBRARIAN SMASH :-D

You're beautiful and smart, and I love the way you use that intelligence to find things out, share them with other people, and help us make connections.

You are the best, and so much fun to talk to, and Libarian Smash!

I don't comment much in your journal, but I really love reading all your informative posts about stuff. All the stuff: faith, history of the place you work, librarianship, living.

Good sense. So much good sense.

I really appreciated your self-care post yesterday.

You are a professionally interesting person and your posts are always informative and insightful, regardless of topic.

I love how devoted you are to your religion.

I love your enthusiasm. I love your curation and sharing and creation of knowledge and spaces to exist, and your empathy, and your self, all bundled up together into a whole that helps me breathe a little easier. I love getting to watch your life.

What you're willing to share of your faith in public and not-so-public is a visible reminder that I am not alone. Since my path is I think substantially different, it also reminds me of the delightful diversity of the paths that I call kindred.

You're so careful with words. I keep finding real delight in how precisely you express things. And so much of what you write about is really educational, too, but I especially love how your words are always so informative and clear and well-chosen.

<3

Keep on sparkling.

Thank you. I intend to.

You are wonderfully complex and remind me how rich the tapestry of human experience is.

Thank you. This reminds me of the Borg approach to diversity (add your distinctiveness to our own, and by so doing, overwhelm and engulf and erase you) and how I tend to stick out (like a sore thumb, like a tall poppy, like a dragon in with the socks) in large-corporate environments that like to do that. So it's good to see that this tendency does some good in the world.

You so often inspire me. <3

You bring a delightful infusion of chaos and merriment, even through hard times. I admire how you stand by the people you love.

Chaos and merriment is exactly what I aim to bring. It was the vocation that chose me at age 14.

You are epically, epically kind. That one night you reached out to me when I was lonely? I appreciated that so very much. Thank you.

Love. ♥

I've made such declarations myself, and received the kindness of friends and strangers in my times of loneliness. I'm glad I was able to be there then for you. ♥

you make networks and you use ribbons of words to bring people and ideas together.

you know the importance of the Bastard's prayer and of the Vorkosigan discussions of honor.

i like your organization system.

<3 <3 <3

There's only so much I can say, admittedly. Here goes:

Daft spoon-related factors on my end may mean this remains the case, but I clearly don't know you well enough. I hope this manages to be worth some fraction of what I'd write if I did.

You embody what kab said above about making things seem more possible. The crucial thing, for me, that you make seem possible is being oneself. That not only is this inevitable anyway, but that futilely trying to be someone else instead is not a virtue or an obligation. And that weirdness is not only beautiful (which I knew) but also viable, survivable.

You're thoughtful and kind and I'm glad to have felt that I've internet-met you recently after seeing your name around for so long.

You are the very best blue star, and I'm very glad to know you. You are an anchor of my life right now.

As you are also mine.

You are a shining star and it makes me very happy to see you glowing about recent events in your life. Especially when recent events elsewhere leave me in need of happiness.

<3 so much

You are a delightful agent of chaos and wisdom. I am so glad that we have been able to be there for each other.

Thank you for being a sparent, to me and to so many others. Thank you for the space and advice and patience and love. Thank you for being so thoroughly and inimitably yourself, and so thoroughly honest where honesty is earned, and so thoughtful, and for sharing the wisdom you have earned. Thank you for telling me when I need to stop and think harder.

I am so, so glad that the stars have aligned to provide you with sources of joy and grounds for realistic optimism, even as the world does its best to do otherwise.

You do such high quality informative ranting that always makes me look at something a little differently, while not ducking the emotion-bearing parts of the structure.

Thank you. That means a lot, from you.

For your blogs, for your humour, for helping me express things in a safe place

You have an amazing talent for making the quotidian significant. I always enjoy and very often learn from your journalling about your normal life, what you think about and what you notice. Also every time you comment on my journal it's enlightening and informative and kind.

And I admire how well you love everybody you love. You sometimes have to invent new categories for the people you support and uphold consistently, with so much investment and care.

Specific deed: you said something really moving to me on a recent love meme and it's been buoying me up whenever I might be struggling.

You always strive for greatest clarity and kindness in your communication. This is both admirable and tremendously inspiring.

I have not yet thanked you for commenting on my Instagram reposts: it usually makes me much more happy and excited than comments and likes on the original on Instagram do.

I think you are really, really good at holding space and indicating "I'm here and listening" in a really inviting way, especially in ways that work well over the internet. It's a quality I very much admire and somewhat envy.

She/her or neutral

Please.

Your post of the other hour about the added vitality of transformative works now. Thank you.

I like it when I see you around!

Poetry. And science. The poetry of science, the science of poetry.

I enjoy your writing, your community building, your intelligence.

You are wonderful and kind and an inspiration.

I love your haiku threads, and your science, and your linkspam. You're consistently interesting and kind.

This. <3

You have exquisite timing when you post haiku threads or links to other boosting things. Thank you so much for your support and wisdom.

Love your poetry-associated work! ♥

You inspire me, most recently through reminding fandom that transformative works Have A Real Place now. Thank you! ♥

Your default seems to be optimism and determination and resilience. You have such delight in poetry.

I delight in your commitment to honesty and whimsy and ways through or over or out. The paths you create and curate make it easier for others (by which I mean myself, though I cannot imagine I'm the only one) to follow.

I still periodically burst into tears about how lovely the parcel you sent me was. I'm using the stitch markers on your shawl.

I miss you and I think and talk about you often; I'm sorry I'm not a better correspondent, and I'm astonished and grateful that I can lean into the knowledge that you exist, and are there; you are a silent comforting presence even when we don't talk.

One thing I admire about you is that you see beauty, and then you make it visible to other people. I love your prose as well as your poetry, and this virtual neighbourhood is illuminated by your compassion.

Nominating myself please.

You're brave and honest; you talk movingly convincingly about the joys and the difficulties of art. You create beautiful work for good reasons.

♥

I'm hesitating to comment here because I think really so highly of you that it's hard to express in a way that doesn't seem trite or embarrassing.

I really admire the tenacity with which you pursue your goals, and the way you select them. Your various careers, your composing and battle with the broken system of music publishing, reaching out to people who are lonely and in need, fixing yourself and finding ways to work round things that might hold you back. You're so incredibly loyal and generous to your loved ones. You're true to yourself to an extent that's really rare IME. Also I am extremely impressed with your faith and your attitude to religion and religious institutions as well as your piety.

Personally I really enjoy spending time with you and talking to you and reading about your thoughts when we're both too busy to hang out in person. I feel a bit like you're really too awesome to know me, but you're also the sort of person who never looks down on other people so I should probably stop worrying.

Thank you, so much.

♥

I am specifically grateful to you, on a daily basis, for providing me with the wherewithal and executive function to find out whether having an exoskeleton works for me. You have contributed very obviously and directly and tangibly to me being in less pain, and to me being more capable, and -- thank you.

I am also endlessly grateful to you for your commitment to kindness and compassion, and your willingness to be vulnerable in front of people, and your dedication to positive change, and your generosity with music. And I love how intensely and unabashedly you love.

I am very glad that you are in my life.

You give the very best hugs.

Yes please and thank-you for organising this.

FWIW I still turn to the last thread on here when I'm having a bad day. <3

You were by far the best line manager/boss that I have ever had. While that might seem like a relatively small sample because I've spent so much time self-employed, I've also been working at one job or another since I was 11, so we're talking about 25 years and several bosses, here.

Working with you was the first time I've felt that if I thought of something that would make my job easier I could ask for it and you'd do what you could. (And because you asked at the beginning and made sure I had the accommodations I needed in place, I didn't end up having to ask.)

Doing that while also remaining friends is truly awesome.

♥

I have a constant low-grade sense of relief from knowing that you will, should it come to it, Have My Back.

I also very much appreciate your (modes of) fannishness and your humour and your generosity.

<3

(Also, I am currently putting wheels in motion to see if I can get clearer guidance put in place - and if at all possible money - to give better sickness support to PhD students. Committee meeting is next week go get the ball rolling...)

I kinda need it.

Nothing about strength or fighting, please. Nurturing others to handle things I can cope with.

You have been so, so good to me these past few years. Helping me cope with things. Teaching me stuff. Regular sanity and reality checks - and helping me process the aftermath when I was too wrapped up in something to pay attention to reality.

You're amazing, and I honestly don't know what I would do without you. ♥

♥

Discussions with you were the first obvious step in coming to some big realizations this spring. Thank you for that.

You consider your words, and the ripples your words will cause in the world, very carefully.

I've somewhat disappeared from IRC, and I should do something about that, but I always appreciate talking to you. You have such an original perspective on the world, through your intelligence and independence of thought applied to an unusual set of experiences. And you're really really good at explaining new ideas to other people. Thank you for expanding my mental toolbox.

I am so grateful for all of the messy circumstances under which you've said FUCK THAT SHIT to me.

I am grateful for commiseration and for details-of-daily-life, and I appreciate your passions & your realism about my ability to engage with same.

...could really use some love today.

The way you raise your daughter makes me look forward to the woman she's going to be.

Thank you!

You are fierce and passionate and you argue with integrity.

Thank you! That means a lot coming from you.

I love you.

You make good posts, and host good discussions, and you're an amazing mom.

Thank you, so much

You are smart, critical and passionate and I wish there were about 60 million more of you.

Thank you so much.

I appreciate you for talking about how tired and discouraged you get sometimes, and for sharing the funny or joyful parts too.

Thank you. That really means a lot.

I love your thoughts about feminist parenting, and how you connect with your daughter fannishly, and your love of Sesame Street and Barbie, and your grading hell posts.

Thank you so much.

It's always a pleasure to read your posts. And if I'm ever a parent, I hope to be one like you.

That really means a lot. Thank you.

You are a great teacher, great mom, and great fan!

I treasure having you on my flist every day!!!

Thank you! And all those things and more back at you.

You are an awesome mom bringing up an awesome daughter. *kudos*

Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me to hear people say that.

You were nice to me when I was a fandom n00b (like, in the way back when) and I have never forgotten how that made me feel safe in this strange new online fannish world I had staggered into. Thank you for that.

Oh, wow. You've been such a good addition to my circle; I'm glad you feel welcome there.

You are funny and fabulous and I love all your stories. I'm so happy to have met you on this internet neighborhood.

Thank you so much! Your presence on my reading list means a lot to me.

You bring up excellent issues when grumbling at advice columnists.

Yes, this! I don't know

cereta very well but I absolutely adore

agonyaunt and her thoughtful posts there.

Edited 2016-11-16 20:45 (UTC)

I am endlessly bloody grateful for the spaces you curate (in your journal, and in agonyaunt, and elsewhere), and your wry humour, and your vulnerability, and your exploration of How People Even, and your wisdom, and your sharing of your relationship with your daughter. It is a kindness and a blessing to see honest respectful open parenting in action.

You are a constant delight and I am glad to know you.

please nothing about being strong.

Even just seeing your icons and presence can make me smile.

♥

It's good to have you around in the spaces that I'm in.

I appreciate your comments on fic when I see them. I do not have enough active cope to look forward to seeing them, or your comments elsewhere, but as best I can recall I do always enjoy reading them.

(And also: hi!)

please?

please nothing about being strong or anything like that. i don't have much strength in me right now.

Love you, hon. Just because.

You are my best succulent friend and you tell me about chinchillas. I am glad to know you.

I love you for your supportiveness, despite everything that drags you down. I love you for your thoughtfulness. I love your intelligence.

I am so happy you exist.

♥

I really enjoy your writing. You make everything about your experiences really vivid and you show so much empathy when you write about other people. I don't know you at all well but I'm glad to have you on my d-roll.

I love your writing about science (and your linkspams!) and your writing about tattoos and you writing about How Brains and How Spirituality and your fannish enthusiasm and. Thank you.

I'm feeling this impulse to tell everyone else I know I love them, and I could use some reminders about loving me.

I $hearts; you.

♥

We haven't talked a lot recently, but that doesn't mean I don't care.
All the hugs!!!!

I just had a look at your journal, and am adding you to my reading list because I like your book reviews. :)

You are also a delightful dinner companion, and I always appreciate finding someone who cares about the mechanics of spinning and other fiber arts, and historical accuracy.

<33333

You are one of the people who makes my communities a better place.

I really appreciate the specific, practical advice you've been giving about dealing with the upcoming political reality. And the reason I'm reading that advice is because I enjoy your journal and your verbal, thinky approach to topics.

I smile most times I do anything with my Lapras because of how patient you were about letting me stop and catch it while being collected! And I appreciated your interest in the ridiculous public art, and I appreciate the work that you do fannishly and otherwise.

Thank you

♥

Thank you.

It's good to see you in the spaces we share.

Thank you.

I consistently find your tumblr interesting, when I'm actually managing to read tumblr; I find your blogging about your life very soothing and pull sympathetic faces as I read (even though I don't comment, sorry!), and I like watching you be enthuasistic about sport. Thank you for sharing yourself with me. And I really, really appreciate the insight into politics of a country with which I'm otherwise largely unfamiliar -- I mean, I see what happens in the British news, but otherwise not so much.

Thank you.

I could use to be here, I think. (She/her pronouns)

Edited 2016-11-09 23:15 (UTC)

You always bring a good, nuanced view to discussions.

I like how you post about your everyday life. It's good and comforting to read about apples and gardening and furniture and books and know that all that's going on.

♥

I admire many things about you. The way you always store up experience of the world and use that to help and explain things to people who aren't as clear-sighted. The way you describe what you observe about nature and daily life so vividly. You put so much carefulness and kindness into your relationships, and it's visible how you make people's lives better.

Also, I really like you. I always feel cheered up when we manage to coincide and chat on IM. And your apple reviews are one of the greatest things on the internet!

I always enjoy your perspective on things.

I like hearing about your life and family.

I enjoy the way you write about everyday life, and how comfortable you seem to be in your own skin.

I particularly appreciate your talking about apples and plants and living things; I also very much enjoy your discussion of fiction, and the sense that permeates your posts of being embedded in a comfortable network of People Who Are Kind To Each Other.

I would like to nominate

hairyears.

He gives wonderful hugs, and, it turns out, is a master of funny faces when faced with a camera.

And talks sense, even if I don't always agree with their position.

I love

hairyears for how actively he cares. He seems always to have an eye out for if somebody is lonely or unhappy, and to unobtrusively help out. A couple of times I've brought strangers to events where

hairyears was present, and they've come away raving about how much they liked him. Because both times, he's welcomed them, looked after them, and found something in common to geek out about.

A couple of times I've brought strangers...

I'm the stranger who arrived earlier than you, and making introductions is the most reliable way of looking as if you've blended in.

It's also the good thing to do: nobody should be a stranger in a crowded room. Introduce them, get them talking to people, get them blending in, and more: get them *contributing*.

All this, and I say that I have 'no social skills': it's true when you look a little deeper.

Meanwhile, the small things we do may yet add up.

♥ to

hairyears!

Talking about great hugs and terrible puns would be obvious. But actually the thing I most appreciate about

hairyears is his original, informed perspective on so many topics. It means a lot to me that he's made the effort to come up to Cambridge for several of our parties. And I treasure the times when he waxes poetic about trains or landscapes or love; some of the most moving words I've read have been his.

hairyears is a solid and constant presence, by whom I am greatly reassured; I love his thoughtfulness, and his incisiveness, and his willingness to share his expertise with people, and most of all how careful he is of people: how obviously kind and sincere he is. <3

Please and thank you. Meh on pronouns.

♥♥♥

You are a delightful conversationalist and dinner companion. You wrk incredibly hard and have excellent judgment.

So the thing about

quartzpebble is meh's listened to far too many bad jokes...

...wait, no. They've listened to more and worse than that, certainly from me.

You've listened when you could, and looked after both of us by rationing when you had to. You've heard things too few people in my life can understand let alone empathise with. You're someone I can talk to about navigating and managing conflict in ways that may need force without things getting all "yeah, kicking ass!", and much as it sucks that any of us have to do that it's important that we support each other the right ways.

I hope I've managed to do some of that on occasion, because you're good people. May we find the places that let us do the most good with the least effort - and may that involve more collaboration than the alternative. Because I've not focused enough on that, and regardless of what helps me I sure see that as more important in you.

You have helped me see many things, and your perspective is always valued and valuable.

Your medical advocacy is one of the reasons I'm not a gibbering, screaming, crying mess. Or worse.

I like spending time with you. I appreciate the way you identify things about your life which you don't know enough about to make an informed decision, and then go about getting the information you need.

Thank you for helping save my partner's ass.

I appreciate your resource-sharing, your rabble-rousing, your enthusiasm about your enthusiasms, and your willingness to share expertise.

Yes, please?

You are lovely. I feel like I don't know you very well but I always smile when I see you show up on my reading page.

Aww, thank you so much!

You are lovely, and I am glad to know you. I love hearing about living where you do, and the farm you visit and how fiercely you love your people.

I'm really mad at lots of them right now! But I do love them.

I should do more posts about home, you're right.

Thank you!

Glad to know you, too.

You are a wonderful, compassionate, creative person and you deserve a lot of happiness.

You are one of my best friends in this world. Your sense of humor and fierceness are something I huddle up to when the rest of the world is too noisy.

You also have excellent taste in tea.

+grins at you and cuddles you up+

Thank you, hon. Love you, too.

♥

♥ you, too!

You're creative and you continue to succeed against the obstacles that attempt to impede you.

You're a darling person. I like the conversations we have.

<3 we're gonna make it through this year.

you are awesome. the fact that you wanted to take me into your group of family means a lot to me.

<33333

I always enjoy our conversations, and you frequently make me consider things I had not thought of.

I love your sense of delight in the wonderful, the absurd, the moments of squee and amusement in IM, and.. :hand gestures here:

Desperately needed.

I enjoy your comments when I see them.

I love your passion for children and the vulnerable, the clearheadedness of your views on society, your creativity and enthusiasm for fandom. You've pulled me along through drab times when I didn't believe I was doing much of use, and inspired me to be more creative and spontaneous. In short, thank you.

♥

Any kid you end up with is lucky to have you. <3

I am endlessly grateful for your sharp raw honesty and your compassion and your thoughtfulness, and I love reading about your life, and I am so glad I get to watch and learn and participate. <3

Thank you for this

You are one of the people I think of when I hear that ridiculous claim that online friendships are not real - how long has it been since the old LJ days? Though I constantly regret the impracticalities of f2f meeting: when will they invent the matter transmitter?

One day we'll both be in the same place at the same time.

One day!

♥

💚💚💚

You are wry and thoughtful and generous and I'm so lucky to have known you for so long in these spaces.

The feeling is mutual.

You're very welcome.

I very much appreciate your engagement with community and creativity, and your discussion of art, and your openness and generosity of thought.

Thank you. <3

Me please?

You are thoughtful and caring and understanding, and this is not because you were made to be.

To hell with mandatory passing - and long live the honesty of what's left.

<3

Thank you so much! ♥

You're willing to help. To fight. That means a lot.

You are good people and seeing you around makes me smile.

I'm always glad to see your username in a thread because I know the content will be interesting and thoughtful.

also

star-anise and

des-zimbits.

♥♥♥♥♥♥ you are excellent people and I am glad to know you.

I love the things you say about cats. I love your deep well of empathy, and care, and that you do things for great justice when others would roll up and go 'welp'.

You are so brave and compassionate it awes me.

You write stuff that reshapes my brain. I find the therapy / psych mindset difficult often, and you explain things about how humans work in ways I can assimilate. And you're so radiantly compassionate, for your clients, for your internet friends, for everybody you encounter and talk about. I really admire the way you make visible the work it takes to be the best person you can be, in the face of some pretty major obstacles.

I love your Tumblr as well as your DW, with the mixture of wisdom and cat pictures. I also especially love your comments on Captain Awkward; every time you show up there you say something really helpful and insightful.

You have been a major influence on my attempts to be more compassionate with people in my life, including myself.

You are both brilliant and kind.

I adore the photos of and stories about Emily.

I always love seeing your posts come up on my reading page because I know it is going to be interesting, insightful, compassionate and a pleasure to read.

And, slightly odd secret, I kinda wish I had a therapist as thoughtful and as knowledgeable about trauma as you.

You are amazing. You blow me away with the depth of how much you care and I love that we've been in some of the same internet circles for a while. You are always kind and wonderful and I'm so happy to have met you way back on the LJ days.

Your writings on psychology and trauma are so good and so accessible. I also love your werewolf writings! I have only the best wishes for you and your future ♥

I've learned so much from your psychology posts and discussions. In particular I'd like to flag up the "little match girl" post, which I printed out and showed to my therapist, and the interchange I had with you about disability employment. You inspired me to roll up my sleeves and give government employment services one more chance, on my own terms. This... wasn't a success, but I'm glad to have done it, and now I have concrete reasons I can give anyone who asks for why I'm not taking that route. And subsequent word of mouth has pointed me to somewhere else that might help.

And just today, your post about diagnosis and clinical psychologists vs psychiatrists might save someone else from the bullshit I went through years ago.

I like how you negotiate the gaps between lived experience and theory in your work, how you talk about that.

Also, your "other people's cats" posts are really great -- both the reasoning behind it and the pictures you reblog.

The way you view the world is really compassionate and open, especially considering some of the shit you've been through and the level of burnout you currently have. I also desperately cling to everything you say about how valuable it is to be a mentally ill therapist and how breaking down the Us Vs. Them mentality in behavioral health is profoundly positive for the world.

I also have been absolutely delighted to share a fandom with you recently: everything from watching Flashpoint together to not!ficcing to sharing headcanons to just reading what you write.

(Also, you would not believe how many times at school I have repeated something I learned from you, with a "I have a colleague in Alberta who is a trauma therapist, and she says..." Guaranteed way to make a class discussion better.)

Basically, I totally fangirl you and am glad that we are friends.

I really appreciate your posts on psychology, trauma, and disability, and your openness and willingness to share. I've learned so much from you.

And seen so many photos of cute cats! That too.

<33333

You are working so hard to make people's lives better. You're doing social work in a time that doesn't value or pay that work appropriately. You are doing this in the face of substantial difficulties in your own life.

My God, you're a good person.

<3

I could use something soft.

♥

It was delightful to make your acquaintance and converse.

Ilu, dear one. A Lot.

You are thoughtful, passionate, and awesome and I am glad you are part of my life.

Hi <3 I could use some love.

♥

*\o/*

You are delightful to talk to and an excellent host and cook. <3

It is heartening to see you slowly working things out.

I will not object to love right now.

*pets you*

♥♥♥

Oh, you. you keep the creative fires burning, you give is space to play, and you show us the fabulous places in your mind. How could we not love you?

I really love your community-building Friday posts - even though I often don't actually comment, I absolutely love that they are there. Not to mention you're fabulously imaginative. Imagination is needed in the world and I'm always glad of people who have it. ♥

Seriously how much do I love you? Let me count the ways, darling. Wait, I can't count that high because it's to infinity and beyond and I love love love that we're in each other's lives.

-all the hugs and love-

I love your Friday posts and your supportive comments and the feeling that you have time for people even when you have no spoons.

A love meme, in words & deeds

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