Victory?

[kaberett]

Psychiatrist, PTSD. Psych says that c-/PTSD is a likely to be a useful framework if I consider it useful; that I definitely have a post-traumatic-stress-ish something; that he wouldn't necessarily consider it "full-blown formal" PTSD (I think I presented as too high-functioning and covered up how much I was forgetting/understating too well, augh) but nonetheless seems to think c-PTSD might be a useful diagnosis. So. A bit edgy about having underplayed it, but also this is now a thing I get to stop feeling quite so defensive about claiming, maybe?

Comments

[merrythebard]

*fellow PTSD-sufferer hi-five*

I relate very much to both the understating, and the relief when there's some external verification so that one can stop being defensive about claiming to have something that one blatantly has.

(I've been diagnosed straightforwardly as having PTSD. I kind of self-identify more as having c-PTSD, but the distinction doesn't seem to matter all that much in terms of finding useful things, so it's not been a problem!)

[flippac]

Hah, yeah. So far the closest verification I've had's watching shifting in explanation of various criteria and having someone give me a more accurate definition of "flashback" in particular alas, local NHS are freaking about finding someone competent to diagnose me (understandably: I'm aspie with a complex history and smarter than most of the psychs).

[untonuggan]

I think the most validation I've felt has not come from any medical professional (even the good ones), but from realizing that cats and I both act as prey when we enter new/uncomfortable environments. Like, "Ha this is MY territory I can totes relax and be myself here! Lookit me pounce on the things and climb and do my cat things!" versus, "OMG NEW PERSON OR NEW THINGS OR SOMETHING MOVED OR VET'S OFFICE!" and then cats and I would all be scanning for exits, sitting with our backs to the door, doing displacement (?) activities like knitting or tapping feet for me (lots of distracted grooming for cats), excessive staring at perceived threats followed by awkward social interactions and nope-ing out of physical contact, and when hitting complete overwhelm going into sort of a limp "ok I give up now can I leave" state like what happens with my cats at the vet sometimes. (When I hit my worst I basically cannot word and it's really hard to explain why I need to just leave and hide NOW.)

It was weird? because I could totally explain to the human animals, "Well obviously your cat is sitting *there* because her back is to the wall but she has a good view of the door, multiple escape routes, and she's sitting on something that smells of her and is comforting," and most of them would nod but look confused, like what does that mean?

And after a bit I realized the commonality is probably, "Cats are both hunters and prey, and when they feel like prey is when they act all twitchy and I *totally know how they feel* because that is how I feel (roughly) when I'm having PTSD/c-PTSD symptoms." Fun. Times.

I have found that this can help me explain the PTSD to cat people, though.