when I go to a doctor who starts dictating what my experience is (frequently the worst are the ones who un?intentionally mimic gaslighting by telling me A caused B when my B symptoms started after A, and no matter how many times I or the friend I bring along repeat that, doctor just keeps telling me that A causes B)...my reaction is usually: 1) angry tears which I cannot even in a medical setting and be "professional"; 2) dissociation and thinking about knitting patterns in my head while nodding in roughly the right places; 3) walking out mid-appointment (but unfortunately I'm still fighting about a bill for the appointment where I *could not deal* with this one doctor-person causing intense dissociation and feelz touching me and giving me an echocardiogram, and since I left midway the insurance won't cover it fun times!)
but hey, the dissociation beats actually listening to hearing the "pull your health up by your boostraps" *again*, and that way I don't have to pay for the *intense* pleasure of walking out. (though in that one case, it was totally worth it because I was shaking.)
*doctor dissociation club fistbump*
when I go to a doctor who starts dictating what my experience is (frequently the worst are the ones who un?intentionally mimic gaslighting by telling me A caused B when my B symptoms started after A, and no matter how many times I or the friend I bring along repeat that, doctor just keeps telling me that A causes B)...my reaction is usually: 1) angry tears which I cannot even in a medical setting and be "professional"; 2) dissociation and thinking about knitting patterns in my head while nodding in roughly the right places; 3) walking out mid-appointment (but unfortunately I'm still fighting about a bill for the appointment where I *could not deal* with this one doctor-person causing intense dissociation and feelz touching me and giving me an echocardiogram, and since I left midway the insurance won't cover it fun times!)
but hey, the dissociation beats actually listening to hearing the "pull your health up by your boostraps" *again*, and that way I don't have to pay for the *intense* pleasure of walking out. (though in that one case, it was totally worth it because I was shaking.)