Thanks for this. I don't need as much of it as you do, and I may have mentally automated more of the parts I do need (in the literal decades of living with cattitude), but some of this definitely rings true.

There's also overlap with second wave feminist writings like "Why I want a wife," about the ways the culture teaches men that they will have a lot of this taken care of for them: a shape of traditional marriage in which it is a given that a man will have someone else to make dinner and remind him to eat it, get the groceries and toilet paper and such, be responsible for the home being clean, maybe buy his clothes for him…

And from here, the problem isn't "nobody should be doing that for you," it's the assumption that the category of people who get that done for them should be isomorphic to "men."