This is a curiosity to me, it feels like that same conversation with two allistic people ought to result in the other person being willing to make adjustments. If you'd written this without saying with party was allistic and which autistic I'd have thought that one that was uncompromising on their mode of communication was the one that was autistic (quite possibly mild and undiagnosed, but somewhere on the spectrum).

As far as I know I'm allistic, I have feelings about how is an unhelpful way to talk to me and how is a helpful way and appreciate how different people in my life communicate with me in different ways whether it's because it's their default mode or because it's their judgement about how they can best communicate with me. On the other side of the coin, I know that to some people in my life saying things one way is helpful and to others it's useless, or even hurtful, but it's the people I know or suspect to be non allistic that I feel would fail to understand the need for difference in communication that they are the ones that fail to understand what is semantically the same to them can feel very different to me.