kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2013-04-05 09:15 pm
Entry tags:

[sticky entry] Sticky: with regards to the shores upon which you find yourself

Hello! You are a person! You are probably lovely! I like people!

This journal ends up being a bit of a mix of Srs Business (rants; things I've learned from counselling; &c), fannish & scientific joy, linkspams, poetry, & misc life updates. I tag fairly compulsively, though not always helpfully; I use content notes; I have written up a cast of characters; I aim to maintain this as a safer space, and appreciate (but do not expect!) call-outs when I mess up.

I like it if you introduce yourself when you subscribe, but it's definitely not required. Probably 30% of this journal is access-locked; I give access very readily. Fanworks are always public; AO3 is the canonical place to find my list of works. I'm very happy for you to link to anything that's public, and I'll be even happier if you let me know you're doing it. :-)

Welcome!

permanent wishlist -- care & feeding () -- contact info ()


[archiveofourown.org profile] kaberett -- at the LashBlog -- [ravelry.com profile] kaberett -- BPAL.org -- kabe@rett.org.uk
kaberett: Clyde the tortoise from Elementary, crawling across a map, with a red tape cross on his back. (elementary-emergency-clyde)
2017-10-11 09:38 pm
Entry tags:

Variations on a theme (the Great Board Games Desensitisation Process post)

Hi, I'm Alex, my pronouns are they, I have hilarious boardgame-related trauma; I'm going to want five minutes to read the rules in silence before we start; and if I ask a question about gameplay that isn't addressed to you by name and you're not [personal profile] me_and, please pretend I didn't say anything.


As I periodically mention, mostly whenever I make notable progress of any kind, for a variety of hilarious reasons I find the vast majority of boardgames intensely stressful, and this gets worse the less I know the people I'm playing with. Like I said in my previous post, over the past two years I've gone from "cannot even start to play a game I've had long-term interest in, in my own home, with my partner, who I trust, with no-one else present, without bursting into tears twice just reading the rules" to "getting a bit of an adrenaline kick when I start my second new game of an afternoon with strangers, in a pub, when I was already primed for social anxiety for reasons that do not need exploring at this juncture".

Read more... )
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-10-10 03:51 pm

ten good things

1. Yesterday afternoon, at 4.30pm, I sent off the latest draft of the current paper to my co-authors in advance of our meeting on Tuesday. I had been working at it steadily, in small chunks every day. At no point did I stay up past midnight working on it. It isn't perfect, partly because it can never be and partly because most of the outstanding stuff relies on getting input from a co-author who's been avoiding my e-mails since April; I'm very pleased with myself for maintaining sensible sleep cycles, and for sending it off "unfinished", because I don't think there is actually much to gain from me carefully polishing the presentation and formatting of an appendix that is not yet complete.

2. The casserole my mother bought me (I think when I started the PhD) is currently full of apples I brought home from my parents' on Saturday evening; I've done about half the bag, and everything smells correct. (It's James Grieve; they're mostly not available commercially, but they're what I grew up with, and I'm always faintly disappointed by apples that aren't them. So: I gathered up a quantity of them, and I'll gather up a quantity more when I go for dinner tomorrow, and I'll jar them, and I'll have enough to put on yoghurt and in crumble and in cake for the next year, I hope.)

3. Passing a pound-a-bowl market earlier today, it transpired that the cardboard crates of two-or-so kilos of blueberries really were one quid each. So I got one of those (I was not going to buy more, to get home on public transport), and I need to decide how many to freeze and whether o jam any and if I want to make clafoutis happen, and so on and so forth. This is a lovely problem to have.

4. Shortly afterwards, while poking around charity shops looking for yet more tablecloths (pace the Graun), on my way home from a hospital appointment that was uninspiring but unproblematic, I found a pasta maker for fifteen quid. Nobody I asked said it was a bad idea quickly enough, and that's how I ended up heading home on public transport with a lap full of pasta machine and two kilos of blueberries. "...", said a friend. "How does this stuff even happen to you so much" "I really don't know how you live like this" "But well done" -- which I will take. (This also, conveniently, provides me with My Next Cooking Goal. I think I probably don't care about the spaghetti attachment but I am eyeing up the ravioli one...)

5. I am sitting in the corner of my sofa, facing the French windows, looking out on the grass and the sunshine. (I love this house.)

6. I am now, after today's adventures in public transport, most of the way through CN Lester's book Trans Like Me. I keep crying over it in public. I have been earwormed with a song off Come Home, Not Again (and have just put it on: I'm used to breaking - but not this time/Of all the things you've taken, I'm not giving me from mine/I know I'm better lonely but alive).

7. On which tangentially-related topic, I recently got my act together to actually listen to Jesus & His Judgemental Father's latest, It Might Get Better, and I just absolutely adore the lyric my breakfast is an existential crisis. And I have a whole pile of books to curl up and wallow in, which I'm very much looking forward to -- Provenance, which I haven't yet had brain for, and the new Max Gladstone, and the new Nnedi Okorafor along with some of her back catalogue, and all the Kai Ashante Wilson I just acquired, and...

8. Board games! On Sunday I went to a board game social being run by my BSL-teacher-now-friend (having been a longstanding friend of A's)! I negotiated social anxiety in the run-up! I played two new-to-me games, with one person in the group each time that I didn't previously know, and it... worked? I didn't cry? I panicked a bit at the start of the second one but actually it was okay? I did the thing? I won one of them? I... am really, really proud of myself. I am so aware of how much progress this is: eighteen months ago, or thereabouts, I finally finally managed to persuade myself to sit down with a rulebook and an Adam in our living room and have a go at playing Thud!, which I'd wanted to basically since I saw it being play-tested at a Discworld convention. I think I ended up crying twice just reading the rulebook, while A was in the kitchen carefully giving me space to have a panic? I ended up crying a bunch more over the course of our couple of experimental collaborative games? ... I just played two new-to-me games with strangers, on no more prep than breezily informing people that I have hilarious boardgame-related trauma, would want to spend five minutes anxiously reading the rules in silence before starting, and that if I asked a question about game mechanic and it wasn't addressed to you by name then pretend I didn't say anything and let A answer. I... am so pleased with myself.

9. ... slipper socks. I sort of resent that I like them so much, and they are the precise opposite of what the podiatrists I was seeing wanted me to do for wearing around the house, but fundamentally I really hate slippers and would by defaul be barefoot but also my feet get really cold really quickly. So now I own two pairs of ridiculous slipper socks, and I wear other socks underneath and slouch around in them, and I spend much less time with my feet painfully cold?

10. ... and on Thursday I'm heading down to Brighton for The October Ritual, an aquarium trip, and Terre á Terre, which I've been curious about for a while.


There is lots that is good that is going on. I'm spending the weekend in Cornwall (well, driving to and from -- a lightning visit is To Be Made), and while there will be Wrangling To Be Done I am also, very much, looking forward to going (however briefly) home.
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-09-29 03:43 pm

IRISH CITIZENSHIP: ACQUIRED.

Next steps: passport application form; working out how to register to vote in the abortion referendum next year (if I even can).
kaberett: a patch of sunlight on the carpet, shaped like a slightly wonky heart (light hearted)
2017-09-11 09:51 pm
Entry tags:

yo so if you like the comic about a fictional small-town US college ice hockey team

you might also like Heartstopper, an LGBT comic about a British grammar school, which I have just inhaled this evening after one of you all reblogged it on the tumbls xx

(comment I left on the Patreon: 3-2 came across my dash earlier this evening, I have just read EVERYTHING (with laughing-out-loud and misting-up and making-my-partner-read-bits), thank you *so much* for this. -- I am 27, I was in Year 9 when Section 28 was repealed, I was the only out queer in my secondary school of 1000+ students, and I recognise these crushes SO HARD. Thank you so, so much for making this be a thing in the world, and I am really looking forward to reading more. <3)
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-09-07 10:31 pm

Some things make a post (apparently this is all house-related, huh)

1. A. feels that I was Making Something Of An Understatement when I said to you all, the other day, that the furniture fits like I hoped it would. Or, more precisely, that given that I'd got it accurate to the millimetre I was selling myself short. So have a poor-quality photo: the dresser is A's, the fridge-freezer is the landlord's and hard up against the worksurface. (We are still Working On finding places for everything, hence the stack of aprons on top of the fridge-freezer...)

Read more... )

2. While bimbling around charity shops today, I found that tablecloth + six napkins for £4. I am very pleased, not least because Mama always used tablecloths and therefore they have a strong sense of "comfort" and "home" for me, which combine with the part where my subconcious interprets the view out the window by the dining table as the view out the attic window in the Mouldering Ancestral Pile, which therefore also pings "comfort" and "soothing" really hard.

3. I rescued a weed-filled terracotta tub from the Secret Patio and relocated a cut-price live mint plant into it. It is now on the Actual Patio, hopefully settling in adequately. I intend to add some parsley to it.

4. A conversation with A. the other morning: given that online grocery shops already have a bunch of aliases implemented ("chickpeas", "tinned chickpeas", etc etc etc), why do none of them (as far as I can tell) let me set private/personal/individual aliases? I would much prefer to be able to search "Adam pasta", which is what we call it over here, than have to remember the full name of the stuff he specifically likes. We... got into a fairly lengthy conversation about what the code would look like, because Of Course We Did.

5. ... this mostly seems to be about house, shockingly enough. Want to take a guess about what I've been up to this week? ... yeah. We are pretty much down to at most one layer of box on any given surface, though, with the surface area covered in box rapidly decreasing...
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-09-04 12:01 pm

My current Auxiliary Internet Device set-up

Backstory: I use my AIDe (see what I did there) for a bunch of health-management crap, and also for a bunch of Pokémon Go (for the last year). I am also, as I believe is well-established, Rather Tough On Hardware, and was Impressed yesterday with some of it, so here is another round-up of what all I am doing and routinely using at the moment.

Hardware )

Software )

Aaaaany questions? I imagine not, but I am very happy to natter about this stuff!
kaberett: a watercolour painting of an oak leaf floating on calm water (leaf-on-water)
2017-09-03 10:31 pm
Entry tags:

I love my new kitchen.

Even with most of the counters covered with Misc that I am sorting out homes for, there was space for me to make two quiche cases, one actual quiche (the other case went in the HUGE FREEZER), and some salad.

It was a tiny bit cramped but not in any way that was actually a problem and I have subsequently cleared something like... 2-3 times the amount of counter space I had available when I started cooking? And there is Going To Be More? And that's with all the gadgets out in actually useful places?

Plus: the layout of the open-plan kitchen/living room, right, means that when one of us is cooking the other can be sprawled on the corner of the ridiculous sofa being company including, like, eye contact and things. (Or even doing other useful stuff in the kitchen BECAUSE THERE IS SPACE.)

-- and of course it's doing even slightly involved cooking, and having the kitchen sorted out, that makes me settle in. There's a lot left to be done -- most of the living room and a significant chunk of the bedroom is still boxes -- but I am buoyant and optimistic and happy. And I'm tired and I hurt, but -- I am happy.
kaberett: a watercolour of a pale gold/salmon honeysuckle blossom against a background of green leaves (honeysuckle)
2017-09-01 11:07 pm

quick check-in

I am in bed in new house. Boxes have been moved such that there are clear paths through everything. Most of the furniture is in the right place, and even my optimistic plan for how to arrange it worked. Our landlord has, so far, been startlingly lovely.

My contact details post has been updated with the new address.

And my supervisor's feedback on the latest version of the paper draft was actually positive, and... yes. Yes. Hello. <3
kaberett: photograph of the Moon taken from the northern hemisphere by GH Revera (moon)
2017-08-30 02:46 pm

And as a follow-up

So as best I can tell, [personal profile] tim has just unfriended me everywhere on the entire Internet because -- I can only assume -- of the post I made yesterday, which disagrees pretty strenuously with his latest post about this twitter thread. I think it forms part of a disturbing pattern of behaviour on his part: I've tried (repeatedly!) expressing concern about his ableism in comments on his posts (as have others), and I've seen similar concerns expressed about his approaches to racism and other areas of oppression. He's point-blank refused to engage, as is of course his absolute right, but I am increasingly scared by how unwilling he seems to be to admit to mistakes or nuance, given ~his position in the feminist community~ and all that shit.

So here's the comment I left on that latest post, which is screened and which I imagine is likely to remain so, because actually I think the content is important.

(I hate that this is, in essence, a "call-out" post? But [personal profile] tim has been very clear that he thinks call-out culture is a good thing, and I have tried -- repeatedly -- to talk to him about this in his space. It has gone nowhere. So: now I'm talking about it in mine. Because I'm scared, and because I think engaging critically with his position statements actually matters, and he seems to be very keen to prevent that. Here we are.)

Read more... )
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-08-27 05:53 pm

an attempt at tidying up my browser via the medium of closing tabs

Spirited Away: an alternative to the standard reading.

On (respect for) children as autonomous human beings.

Plants can hear??? White-gaze-y article, but the scientist profiled -- Leigh Joseph -- is working in and with her home community.

Decentring love, written by a friend; I have my reflexive kneejerk "THAT'S NOT WHY THE CAMPAIGN FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY EXISTS" reaction to a throwaway line in it, which Kat of course perfectly well knows (and also, in context, it kind of is) but I'm throwing it up here anyway in case it's of inerest, which I suspect it might be.

Righteous Callings: Being Good, Leftist Orthodoxy, and the Social Justice Crisis of Faith. I remain unsure what I think of this one.

Here are all London's abandoned tube stations.

8th Fire (TV series): "8TH FIRE is a provocative, high-energy journey through Aboriginal country showing you why we need to fix Canada's 500 year-old relationship with Indigenous peoples; a relationship mired in colonialism, conflict and denial."

(Completely unrelated other than being a TV series I have open in tabs: The Middleman.)

A colony of bats has moved into a triceratops.
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-08-26 09:49 pm
Entry tags:

[housekeeping] If you have given me your address recently, you should have a parcel from me

Several of you have told me they've arrived, so I have high hopes that everything else has shown up too! But if I've asked you for your address recently and you haven't got anything from me yet, maybe let me know?
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-08-26 08:54 pm
Entry tags:

[dreamwidth] Advance warning -- tentatively scheduling volunteer weekend 1st-3rd December

HELLO FOLK AS U KNOW I am about to move house. I am sincerely hopeful that we will manage a housewarming in early November, and we should definitely be in a position to manage Dreamwidth docs/hack/etcathon come early December, so If That Works For You maybe pencil it in and let me know if you're thinking of coming?

(Please also let me know if you can do the 24th-26th November, the weekend before, and especially if you can do one but not both - there is some flexibility here but I'm needing to be a bit careful about how things interact with medical care, such that I'm unliiiiikely to manage hosting In The Style To Which You Have Become Accustomed again 'til late Feb/early March, if timings work out the way I think they're going to.)
kaberett: Toph making a rock angel (toph-rockangel)
2017-08-24 11:12 pm

HELLO Dreamwidth I AM HOME (for the next week)

(at which point I'm moving house) (we are picking up the keys on Thursday morning) (NEW HOUSE NEW HOUSE NEW HOUSE)

We -- [personal profile] me_and, [personal profile] sebastienne, [personal profile] shortcipher -- got into London Euston at a quarter to seven this morning, having taken the sleeper down from Edinburgh. We got up to the Fringe on Saturday and spent most of the time there running between shows (sorry to everyone I totally failed to give a heads-up to, or to visit!), and I am Very Happy about this, and was also Very Tired. So I spent quite a lot of this afternoon -- after a medical appointment at the wrong end of town -- asleep; A, meanwhile, went into work and then promptly fell asleep in my lap more or less as soon as we'd eaten dinner after he got in. I have spent the intervening time doing paperwork of variously terrifying nature (HOUSE and also PhD), getting slo-o-owly caught up on parts various of the internet, and being gradually encroached on.

Some edited highlights:Read more... )
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-08-17 08:24 pm

[food] Beans bourdeto, sort of

I went to Corfu! I was introduced to Corfiot bean stew! I was a fan. I am also struggling to track down a recipe that will let me recreate the But That's Amazing Though that I experienced there, because it's generally made with fish and there are relatively few recipes online, which means my ability to take the average of multiple recipes is limited. Nonetheless!

Read more... )

... which I served up with The Rice Of My People, which I'd apparently somehow not made for A before; he is a Fan. It turns out. Read more... )
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-08-17 11:25 am

In which I grouse about some of the superficial shit that's stressing me out

Includes current politics + mental illness, HURRAH.

Read more... )

OKAY THAT WILL DO FOR NOW.
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-08-15 09:40 am

[food] Clafoutis/flaugnarde

On Sunday I conned Adam into going blackberry picking with me (it's a bit more complicated than that, but the short version is he hadn't realised how much more tedious and unpleasant it is to pick wild blackberries than it is to pick pick-your-own strawberries), so we've got a large tub of blackberries that I'm gradually turning into beverages/desserts/etc. We also had the end of a pound-a-bowl bag of blueberries from the market, and I have been meaning to try clafoutis for years, so! Lightly adapted from River Cottage.

Read more... )
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
2017-08-14 06:27 pm

(no subject)

1. HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE. CONTRACT SIGNED. START DATE FIRST OF SEPTEMBER. \o/

2. [tumblr.com profile] kaberett continues explicitly Things That Make Me Happy, all the time, no politics. [tumblr.com profile] kaberabbits continues... all the rabbits, all the time. In case this is relevant to your interests. (Anything political would go on [tumblr.com profile] kaberants, but I just... Haven't Been.)